Loss of father, who did not want me in his life

My father made it clear I was not important in his life, even when I was a child, yet my sister was important to him. He actively did things to let me know that. The list of what he did to hurt me was very long.

In my 20's, months after my mother died, my father made plans to go away for Thanksgiving with my sister, without me. I was living 30 minutes away from him. He, and my sister, were going to leave me alone for the holiday.

Now I'm a father of 18 year old twins. My father made no effort to keep in contact with my children, and he ignored them, not even contacting them on their birthday.

I hadn't seen my father in almost ten years, after he moved out of state. We would send each other birthday greetings, and that was our only contact.

Because of a disability I am housebound and cannot do traditional counseling.

My father died a week ago and I'm trying to figure out how to grieve the loss of the man who wanted nothing to do with me.

 

First I'm sorry for.yiur loss. Second I'm sorry he loss out on having you and your children in his life. Are you and your sister close? I hope you're able to comfort each other. You're in the right place. This is a good start. Its nice talking to people that have gone through the same type loss. Grief will effect everyone differently but its good to know someone is here to listen without judgment. Im praying for your strength.

 

Thanks.
My sister followed my father's example and made it clear she was not interested in my life. All we do is text each other birthday greetings. So there is no chance she would be a source of comfort.
My mother was the only one in my family growing up who I felt took an interest in my life