Loss of both parents suddenly

I'm new to this site and just want to share a little bit about my experience. I found my mum dead at home in January 2015, which was so unexpected. My dad was my only family member after this.
Me and my mum and dad were very close. Unfortunately in December 2022 when I came home from shopping I found my dad dead at home suddenly. This has hit me so hard since June this year. Every day can be a struggle. I asked my GP for help and recently started counselling. I thought I had also dealt with the grief of my mum but haven't as I'm now getting flashbacks about this. I am now also having flashbacks about my dad too. I want to get back to being me though right now I don't know who I am. I think the grieving process will take quite a bit of time for me.

 

I am sorry for your loss and sorry no one has responded until now.
Are you still here? I would like to correspond with you.
Chris

 

I too lost both of my parents suddenly. My dad called to tell me my mom had passed away at our family home. I am an only child and my parents were my only remaining family. I went to the house. My boyfriend drove, and my daughter’s boyfriend drove my daughter (mid 20s). I talked with my dad, albeit briefly, as it seems now, and then called 911. When the first responders arrived, my dad was walking beside me to greet them. He then fell to the ground. They attempted to resuscitate him for :45 but were unable to. There was no will and I am now whatever the term is for the person handling the estate/probate. I now am emotionally and financially responsible for the family home and other treasures they worked their lives to obtain, largely for me ..and my daughter. I do hard things every day, and there is a seemingly endless list of things yet to do. I think I am doing worse now than I was last month. The grief feels unbearable most days, the last few weeks have been especially hard. I am typically able to maintain rather well, when anxious or stressed, but recently I feel like I cannot. I am faking most of my interactions with people, even those most closest to me (my daughter and bf). I cry all the time and am quick to lose my composure. I used to appreciate quiet time by myself and now I almost dread it because I worry that I will again have some sort of panic attack or emotional upheaval that I feel not in control of. My family (mom, dad, daughter, and I) were very close. My mom was my person. I feel so alone and untethered.

 

I am sorry for your losses and I am so sorry that you are experiencing such turmoil. You have suffered a very severe unexpected shock. This kind of thing hits really hard as you already know. You have had a lot put upon you all at once. It is an awfully lot to expect of one person. No wonder you are having all these unpleasant feelings.
Try to lessen the stress as much as you can by taking walks outside. Nature and the beautiful things God created can have a calming effect and I just read that there is something in the air itself that is healing. You feel alone but remember you are not. We are here for you and we understand how difficult this can be because we too, have lost a close loved one. Grief is such a heavy burden. Crying all the time and being quick to lose your composure is normal because of what has just happened to you. Be good to yourself and give yourself time to adjust to your new situation. Don't pressure yourself in any way. Try to eat well and get as much rest as you can. When you feel like a panic attack or emotional upheavel is coming on, keep your mind on God. He is your source of strength and stability. You can talk to Him about these things just like you are sharing with us. He loves you and wants to help you if you just reach out to Him. Read the Psalms in the Bible to find some peace again.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Please continue to do so as you feel led because I have found it helps to sort out all that has happened to you.
We love you and care about you.
Chris

 

Thank you for your kindness, Chris. Today is a new day - may it be filled with love and light.

 

Hello Mb4, my most sincere condolences for your multiple losses, tangible and intangible. You've been propelled into a situation you could not have prepared for. I hope you can keep your heart open and accept any help that comes your way, you need support and guidance. Your parents binding love for each other tells me how special they were/are, and how much you must be loved. Please treat yourself like you would a good friend going through the same thing - give yourself patience, nurturing, sustenance, and hope for the future. Hold tight to whatever Higher Power is meaningful for you.

Keep returning to GIC to share your struggles and small wins. We care about you and understand devastating loss that changes us forever.

Peace.
~ Michael