Losing my son

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Jennifer70, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. Jennifer70

    Jennifer70 New Member

    It has been 38 months today since my son took his life. I died that day. I have not been able to work, stay in bed most of the time and hate life. I pray every night that I won't wake up in the morning. All I want is to be with my son but I have to be her for my daughter and grandson. My son was so much a part of me. I feel like I failed him. I pray he truly knew how much he was loved.
  2. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Very sorry to hear about your son. I think many people feel guilt after the loss of a loved one. I hope this site will help you.
  3. AdriaStar

    AdriaStar Active Member

    Oh Jennifer, my heart breaks for you. I have no words but sending you a big hug.
  4. gcall1976

    gcall1976 New Member

    My son took his own life on September 25th. It has been almost a month now. I cry all the time. I miss him so much. My heart is literally breaking into. I understand your suffering and I have wished for my death as well. I just want to hug him again and tell him everything is going to be ok. But I have 3 other children that need me. I blame myself for his death because as his mother I should have kept him safe. I hope you can find some peace. And that this site can help u cope
  5. Apatt1997

    Apatt1997 New Member

    I dont know what it's like to loose a son. But I know what it's like to loose a loved one this way. I'm sorry for your loss. I relate to you some. I dont understand why. I hope that my loved one knows he was loved. I hope he knows how much he is missed. I hope he watches over us now. It's still fresh for me so I have no idea how to cope. I drive a semi so I'm alone 90 percent of the time with no one to talk to. I got on this site in Hope's to connect with someone. At least try and help others. It would help me.
  6. gcall1976

    gcall1976 New Member

    Thank you. I found myself praying a lot. I asked God for guidance. And one day I woke up and I watched a minister. Paster Murrah. He spoke of a verse from Matthew where Peter walked on water with Jesus. Peter was fine until he became afraid of the storm. He took his eyes off of Jesus and began to drown. I realized that my son's death was my storm, and that as long as I keep my faith and believe that God will help me I won't drown. I read that scripture Matthew 14:22-36 before. But that day I realized the meaning of it is great. And whenever I feel I can't take it another moment, I pray and I listen to the song from Casting Crowns, Praise You In This Storm. And it reminds me that God is here even through the worst times.
    Smr324 likes this.