Losing my grandmother

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by ldb10, Dec 21, 2022.

  1. ldb10

    ldb10 New Member

    Over two months ago I have lost my grandmother. She was such a sweet, kind, and genuine lady. She was my best friend and loved me for me and never judge me. At times I feel like she understood me better than my own parents. It has been so hard dealing with her loss. I have been struggling with the day-to-day life. I have a two children and partner who depend on me. Lately it has been so hard, and I become irritable and angry with the everyday tasks. I quickly rise to anger and that has never been me. At times I feel like my partner does not understand what I am going through, and they are trying so hard to be supportive for me. I am a new member trying to reach out to others for suggestions on how to manage this everyday.
    BobGrief2023 likes this.
  2. hailee white

    hailee white New Member

    I lost my grandfather January second, I watched him take his last breath in the hospital after choosing, himself (he was VERY coherent) that he wanted to be off the machines keeping him alive, (his heart, and oxygen as his lungs weren’t functioning properly either) I held his hand as I locked eyes with him and he took his last breaths. He made sure I knew I was his buddy and he loved me. He knew I was going to see god, he lived a lovely life of 81 years. He was my everything. I grew up wanting to be a mechanic “just like pa”. He’s gone. Till I see him again, he’s gone. He can’t tease me. I’ll never get to go hunting with him again. I miss him. I also have a 4 year old that is going to miss her pa so much. It’s going to take a while for me to be okay. His funeral is in two days and I’m not prepared at all.
  3. hailee white

    hailee white New Member

    I’m sorry I don’t really have a suggestion but I would like to be a friend because I too, need to learn how to deal with the same issues. I’m more than 1000 miles from home and my partner is alone as I deal with the arrangements of my grandfather. I’ve been away almost a month and when I get back I have to immediately find a job and I need to make sure to properly manage my grief in my own time, as well as at appropriate times. And help my partner understand what I’m feeling and going through.
  4. ldb10

    ldb10 New Member

    Sometimes there is no easy solution. Just being able to write the post has been beneficial in many ways. I am so sorry for your loss; it sounds like your pa was an amazing man and you had a special bond with him. It is hard when your best friend is gone. My grandmother died on a Tuesday, and we buried her the next day because my grandfather couldn't handle the pain since it was going to be their 61st anniversary that Friday. I totally get not being prepared. Honestly my advice to you is these next few days be present with your grief and just feel it. You need to, it is just the beginning of the healing process. The best thing that I have been doing is being honest with my partner where I am at with grief. Talking and not isolating because that is what I was doing. Schedule time for you, every morning these past two weeks I have been waking up early before work to walk, it has been helping a lot. It is like my own time to collect myself for the day. Eventually you won't cry every day.

    Hope this helps!
  5. hailee white

    hailee white New Member

    That helps a lot! I’ve been isolating and I get home in 2 days I just really hope I don’t allow my grief to cause trouble in my relationship.
  6. CNikkiE

    CNikkiE New Member

    One of my losses is my grandmother. I lost her last year. She was also my best friend, who I was more connected with even more than my parents. She was there when I was born. She loved me more than anyone, she always told the whole world about me, she carried my picture everywhere and then when my kids were born, she carried theirs everywhere too. She never wanted me to be sad and she was always happy when something good happened to me. She was the first person in my life to ever make me feel absolutely loved, special and adored. I'm still trying to find ways to deal with losing her. So far, the main person I share anything with, like photos and feelings has been my therapist.
  7. amanda86

    amanda86 New Member

    On May 18th 2018 my world came crashing down when i received one of the worlds worst phone calls i have ever had, it was my dad calling to tell me that my grandmother, my best friend, had just taken her last breathe and i completely lost it. She hadn't been sick she had fallen over a bird bath and fractured her neck and they were giving her food she should not have been eating. On May 21 I watched a casket close on someone that i thought would be around for a while longer.... Fast forward to 3 weeks ago I get another call i didn't want to get, it was my aunt calling to tell me that my grandfather had just taken his last breathe all while I am home alone. My dad gets home and I am running down the stairs towards him with tears running down my face and I am breaking this terrible news that his stepdad who raised him since he was 13 has just passed away and that was one of the hardest conversations I have had. I am heart broken. I miss them so much. But it gives me some peace knowing that they are together once again......
  8. Marissa0122

    Marissa0122 Member

    I also lost my grandma in January, it was sudden and I still go to my grandpas house thinking she will just magically be there. I would suggest trying to journal, I think posting on this form is a good start. But, it’s normal to feel all the emotions you are.
  9. BobGrief2023

    BobGrief2023 Active Member

    I lost my grandma too. My grandma gets sick for almost a decade, I feel bad for her, I know how much she cares me. I feel sad for her, but I don’t know how to help her. Then she passed away in recent year, I feel my life without love. I also have an abusive father, when my grandma still alive, she opened her door for me and my mother to hide away from him. Right now, there’s one less person who can do that thing for me. I also feel life getting hard after she got sick, I met with wrong persons and my life got worse and bad during that time. I think I just getting distracted back then, I should be grieving and feel sad for her earlier like what I do right now.