Lonely

Deb, it was so good to hear from you tonight, even though your account of Bob's
last days, was so heartbreaking. I've been
worried about "wasting away"--no joy,
no appetite, and just sleeping all the time.
I was so healthy at Thanksgiving, at Kim's.
I was startled to see how gaunt I looked
in the mirror, today. Kim brought me a
pizza, but it was"t as.tasty as I remembered. I will take the special
medicine before bed tonight. Hope you
can relax. Lou

 

Lou,

I'm glad you have such wonderful friends who are always here for you. It's good you're eating, even though you aren't hungry. I know you know this, but drink as much water, herbal tea, etc. as you can. Dehydration would SUCK!!!. BIG TIME!!! I know you're taking the very best care of yourself you possibly can. I think, even though you've had it with Omicron!!!, TU!!!, you need all of this sleep, just like you need to eat whatever you can, and keep on drinking. In spite of still being so exhausted, and not having much of an appetite, from reading your messages, you sound better. I'm going to take this as a positive sign.... Much better days ahead!!!, TU!!!

Stopping here... I know I keep repeating myself, and I know you already know everything I've already said, but like all of TGW, I've been worried about you. Thank you for the update.

I hope the special medicine works well and you're able to get some uninterrupted quality sleep!!!, TU!!!

I'm going back to being a couch potato now. I need to veg out. Today was a very difficult one for me, can't stop thinking about Bob... I've gone through zillions of tissues. I know, I'm exaggerating here, but my supply of tissues needs to be replenished soon. As I said to Lorry, Bernadine had the best idea, embroidered handkerchiefs, lol!!! Every time I reach for another tissue, I think of Bernadine saying this, and it makes me smile between all these tears. TGW are the absolute best!!!, TU!!!

Sleep well... And kick this thing all the way to the curb ASAP!!!

Sending lots of extra hugs, love your way, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Lou, I'm glad you are checking in with us. Deb gave you some good advice and I'm sure you are taking good care of yourself as possible. Sleeping helps healing. It's been a long time. Are you under doctor's care or a nurse practitioner? I'm not sure if I missed your response awhile back. As always in prayer's for the best Lou.

 

Karen, I don't want to go to the office of my
NP. At the moment, the waiting room is
filled with sneezing & coughing elderly
patients, in their late 70s. 80s, and even
90s. My folks lived into their 90s. My NP
said I was leading a healthy schedule of
eating, sleeping, and walking outside-----
until now, with this blasted Omicron. I also
don't want to be put overnight in any
hospital, with questionable vaccines---at this point-- or to be put on a venttillator.
Starting tomorrow, as I just told Deb ( and
before her, Robin). I will start taking a
teaspoon of a powder, Quenticin, which
Kim purchased in bulk. One can't buy it
over the counter at either CVS, or
Walgreens. I'll let TGW know how it
works. Lou

 

I hope it works too older brother Lou. I’ll be thinking about you more in hopes of more energy will flow towards you. Deb I hope you have a lot better day than yesterday. I’m sorry but it was exhaustingly terrifying to comprehend all you’ve endured over the last three years. I’m sending you a zillion hugs. I hope you had a good nights rest and get several relaxing walks in today. Please rest in your bereavement blanket and drink plenty of herbal tea. Watch hours of mindless tv. And then do it again tomorrow. We love you very much! Gary

 

Gary, I took my FIRST dose of medicine. when I awoke at 7am, my time. My friend,
Kim, who's like a daughter to me ( although
she never met Linda) is in medical research. Kim brought me a small packet of Quercetin Pure, which is not available
in CVS or Walgreens. So far, so good. Some
sun this am, so I'm walking to local market.
Laura is a beautiful name. Not long after
I moved here, I was having tea, in a cafe,
overlooking the harbor. It was very quiet,
& I introduced myself to one of the cashier/waitstaff, a married mother, in her
50s. She wasn't from here, nor was I. She
said her name was Laura. I said my wife's
name was Linda, & started to cry. Laura has been kind ever since, but we've moved
on to other topics. I wish you well, Gary,
with Laura. Lou

 

I agree with you. Wishing the Best, K

 

Gary,

Your response made me cry, but mostly only in the best of ways... It's way beyond wonderful to be able to come here, "talk" to TGW, and know that everyone "gets" it, isn't going to give me useless advice on how to "fix" it, how I should try not to think about this so often (WTF???, there is NO off switch for our brains!!!), and doesn't mind if I keep repeating my story over and over and over again. I was surprised when I started "talking" to Lorry, and I found myself suddenly "talking" about all of this again... I meant to make it a short message, but once I started "talking" to her, the words seemed to type themselves, and those floodgates opened...

It makes me so sad..., yet at the same time, I know that by telling my story over and over again, until I finally reach the point where I don't need to "talk" about it any longer, I'm doing what I need to do to keep on moving forward. Tom Zuba talks about this in "Permission To Mourn," and I think this is some of the best advice on how to get through all this darkness. I can't even begin to imagine living the rest of my life being as sad, as lonely, and as miserable as I am now. I think Robin and Karen "talked" about this, about needing to believe that life will get better for all of us. I know I wouldn't be able to survive this total heartbreak if I didn't believe that better days are ahead, not just for me, but for all of us. Life is a gift, and I am determined to find a way to not waste the rest of my life being this miserable. If I keep on "talking," this is going to turn into what Lou and I call one of my "books," so stopping here (for now).

I promised two of my closest friends, the ones that Bob and I used to vacation with all the time, that I would call them this week. They're always worrying about me. I'm going to make a cup of herbal tea, and call them. I miss them so much, but at the same time, it's so hard..., Bob not here with me, both of us talking to them on speaker phone. When Bob was healthy, scrap this, when we didn't know how sick Bob was, this was the time of year the four of us would talk, a cruise already scheduled, giving each other our flight info, the time we would arrive in Florida, meeting them at the airport when we could, and taking a cab to the hotel we always stayed at the night before we set sail. We would always have lots of drinks, and a delicious seafood dinner, outside, overlooking the water, the night before. Then we would go back to the hotel, drink some more, talk until late into the evening... over the top excited about our next soon to be adventure. I need to stop here!!! I'm really beginning to ramble now!!!, TU!!! Life is so strange... So many memories of the happiest times in my life mixed in with so many memories from the worst times in my life, all jumbled together. All of this SUCKS!!! (I'm still stuck on SUCKS!!!)

Hope you had a good day, or at least as good a day as possible, with at least one, but hoping for more than one, to LMSO.

As always, sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

P.S. Backing up to the beginning of Gary's message, Lou, just as Gary said, I hope the "special medicine," can't think of the name, just that it starts with a Q, is doing it's thing!!!, TU!!!

 

Gary, I think you have mentioned you go to therapy. If not too confidential is there anything the therapist has said that may help all of us here that hasn't been brought up? No need to answer if this is inappropriate to ask. k

 

Gladly Karen.There were Two breathing exercises Laura mentioned. Google five finger breathing exercise and square breathing exercise. Terms like “grounding” and “keep coming back to here and now” and “ways to empower ourselves” and “we have to focus on our strengths and what is good about us”. I don’t want to sound like Dr Phil. The power of positive thinking. How we overcame struggles in our childhood and adult life. We have to dig deep and bring this to the front of our minds. Write it down on paper. We have to build ourselves up. We seem to be having a rally today. I caught 5 keeper bluegills fishing this afternoon. Just enough for meal. The pink sky at dusk reflected off the clear ice mirror and I thought about my beloved Cheerful Cheryl and how she loved sunsets. Lou I’m glad you had some adventures today. Everyone is cheering you on older brother. We press onward as warriors do. TGW. Gary

 

Thank you Gary.

 

Karen & Robin--- I will will patiently waitng for clean sheets. Lou

 

Karen, I feel that I have become so boring
since I started self quarantine, that I've
repeated myself----in the same sentence---
to you & Robin : "I will will patiently
waiting for clean sheets". I don't have
washing machines or dryers in my small
apartment, but I use a pick up & delivery
service. I was nervous, bc it was late
yesterday, and I wanted to take a nap,
as usual. I'm also anxiously waiting for
positive results, from the Quenticin Pure
powder, which I mix in a teaspoon with
OJ, every morning. It comes in packets, by
bulk, from Roseburg, Oregon. Forgive me
if I've mentioned it to you, Karen. I asked
Robin & Deb about it. bc I've been sick
with Omicron since Christmas Night, and
I'm discouraged & depressed. The very
cold temps & dark, gray skies, make me
want to stay inside. I'm too old for the
winters up North. The winds go right
through me. I agree with George. I asked
Bernadine if she had heard of Quercetin,
bc it comes from Roseburg, Oregon. I hope & pray that the March weather will bring
smiles to our lips, and put hope in our
hearts. God Bless. Lou

 

Lou, how are you doing today? I know you’re doing your best to stay hydrated and doctor yourself. Can’t say that I really blame you for not wanting to go into a doctor office around so many other people who are sick. I really hope the quenticin is helpful. I researched it. It gets great reviews on Amazon and good for many things. It’s good support to your immune system and I’ve read it’s good for people with RA. So I will look into it more and possibly purchase some to try. I did read that people found it in capsule form, saying the powder doesn’t mix in well. I’m sorry that the pizza Kim brought you wasn’t as tasty as you remembered. I’m guessing you’ve lost your taste going through this omnicron. Maybe stick with soups and teas, oj. We’re all pulling for you you’ll get past this I know it. Are you taking vitamin C and D? I’m so glad you have wonderful friends and neighbors looking out for you. I hope you were able to get your sheets washed and have them back. I read somewhere along the way you were going for a walk. Lou, be careful. I’m sure you’re a bit weak, don’t over do it. And you’re not boring at all. We all have concern for your well being snd just feel good to hear from you. You’re in all of our prayer as you know. Counting the days until spring. Robin

 

Thank you, Robin, Deb, Karen, Bernadine,
etc. I don't like the taste of this powder. Not
sure I see any positive results. Still
exhausted, weak, and disgusted, like
George, over endless cold, gray winter.
I told George & Gary I want to move to
Florida, where Linda & I visited & almost
went, by train, 3 years ago, before she
became ill. I've decided to take a cab to the
office of my kind NP. Both Linda & I
liked & trusted her. Keep you posted. Lou

 

Lou,

I'm glad you're going to see you NP. I know you're concerned about picking something up in the waiting room. My providers will let patients wait in their cars and text them when it's their turn to be seen. I know you can't do this, but maybe you could find a secluded corner in the hallway, if there is a bench or chair, and have someone at the front desk let you know when your NP is ready to see you.

Thank you for the update, wish it had been better new, but I think at this point, you are doing what you need to do to get well as fast as you possibly can.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Here’s what I’ve learned in the last year about this thing
The powder doesn’t work overnight like some pharmaceuticals we’ve come to expect but stick with it. It can reduce the chance of getting worse and most likely bring it to an end more quickly than it might otherwise have been.
Keep up with your vitamins D and C.
Adding some Zinc if you aren’t already taking it and vitamin k will help your body absorb the vitamin D.
Eat whole food if your feeling hungry but don’t worry if you have no appetite as your body is letting you know what it needs.
And of course avoid anything processed as your body is working hard to heal.
For someone like you who is accustomed to getting out I can imagine being home isn’t much fun. Soon, we hope, you’ll be back out in the world, take all the time your body needs. Be well, Lou, we’re praying with you. ~B

 

Robin,

After reading your message to Lou, I checked quercetin out on line. I came up with the same conclusion you did. I didn't look at the Amazon reviews because you already read them. There are so many articles online, all of the ones I looked at were positive. However, I did read that at high doses, it can cause liver? kidney? damage (HATE!!! this widow foggy brain, I just read the article!).

I sent a message to my dermatologist since it's supposed to help with hair and skin issues as well as with inflammation. I really like her and I'm interested in what she has to say about it. I'll update when I get a response from her. It could take up to 3 business days.

I hope you and Teddy have as good a day as possible, and stay WARM!!! It's sunny in SC and is supposed to hit 60 degrees by mid afternoon. I wish I could send some of the sunshine and warmer temps your way, to all TGW who are stuck in all this cold, miserable weather...

As always, sending you and Teddy lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB