Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by lredditt, Jan 10, 2022.

  1. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Thanks Lou. About every 6 weeks I overdose on grief. I had an energy crash Thursday but wasn’t sick. I’m trying to rest up physically and emotionally. I’m lacking on positive energy right now. I Could be in a low swing of my biorhythms. I plan on making a comeback soon. I know I will be welcomed back. Take care. Gary
    Countess Joy, Van Gogh and Patti 61 like this.
  2. Patti 61

    Patti 61 Guest

    Hi Gary, I replied to you earlier on another
    posting, sorry I hadn’t seen it earlier.
    take care. Praying for you and all others here.
    Blessings, Patti
    Van Gogh likes this.
  3. lredditt

    lredditt Well-Known Member

    Thank you Deb for you kind words Lorry
  4. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    So good to hear from you tonight,
    Brother Gary. I remember suggesting
    that you, George, & I share a Florida
    condo, bc of the seemingly endless,
    cold, gray winter. You probably heard
    that Massachusetts, where I live, and
    Long Island, NY, where Robin, lives, just
    had a tremendous snowstorm last night.
    It was blizzard like conditions. People
    are trying to dig out from huge snow
    drifts today. I'm too old for shoveling.
    My upstairs neighbor, 50, in my small
    apartment bldg. is digging us out. I choose
    not to have a car, but I need the front
    steps clear. I was in the hospital, on an
    IV, for hydration & nourishment. I had
    lost my appetite, & interest in food. I'm
    at home, getting my strength & appetite
    back. As I told you, a VNA nurse & PT
    come to my apartment to check on my
    well being, & try to prevent me from
    returning to the hospital. My spirits
    were low. I felt isolated & depressed.
    Linda always came with me to doctor
    appointments. When I was in the
    hospital, I was really cut off, bc I
    couldn't get on GIC. When I came home,
    I came back on & welcomed Savannah,
    from Ohio, on her "Good Days,Bad Days,
    thread. She has already made friends here.
    I hope you have a chance to talk with her.
    Many of us worried when we didn't hear
    from you. I'm sorry that Mr. Grief knocked
    you down, but, remember that it's
    temporary. You need to recharge your
    battery. I'm not walking outside until
    the weather is better, & I feel better. It is
    good for you to pull back, even from GIC,
    until you feel more yourself. Lou
    DEB321, cjpines and Patti 61 like this.
  5. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    That would be great. They’re beautiful. ~B
    Van Gogh likes this.
  6. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I like that, "Recharge your battery". I understand Gary's comment, "Energy crash". I'm there.
    I hope the weather gets better for all of you that are snow bound with wind and alone without your soulmate. It sucks as Deb would say.
    Van Gogh likes this.
  7. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Karen. Went to sleep early, &
    just woke up to see your message to Gary.
    Thanks for praising my "battery"idea.
    I was lethargic today. I knew I couldn't go
    out today, so I took a lot of naps. Resting
    up for doctor appointment on Thurs. Lou
  8. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    While it's always good to hear from you, I wish you had better news to share. Please!!! don't feel like you need to respond to this. I "get" it. You were the one who made me realize that I need breaks from this site too. Although I miss TGW when I'm in MIA mode, the time I spend alone has helped me so much..., just as much as the time I spend "visiting" my GIC friends.

    Continue to take care of yourself the very best you can!!! Do whatever you need to do to feel better. Just as you said, we will be here for you when you return.

    Sending you lots of extra hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Van Gogh likes this.
  9. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I'm so sorry you're experiencing an "energy crash" too. Although you beat me to it, all I can say is it SUCKS!!! Just as I said to Gary, please take care of yourself the very best you can. We will be here whenever you want/need to "talk." This winter has SUCKED!!! for all of us... I hope and pray spring will be the beginning of better days ahead... WE CAN & WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!!!

    Sending you and Rambo lots of extra hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Dreary and Van Gogh like this.
  10. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    Just like Karen, I love "recharge your battery." It says it all... I totally agree with you that this is temporary. As I've been saying way too much lately, everything is always subject to change. Think spring... think lots of sunshine, flowers, warm ocean breezes...., etc., etc., etc. For now, daydreaming can be a very good thing!!!, TU!!! (Unfortunately I think this is starting to get a bit on the stale side too.)

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Van Gogh likes this.
  11. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    OK, let me interject here. Today is the
    last day of Jan. On a personal note, with
    scary visits to the ER in the middle of
    night, Dec AND Jan beyond SUCKED!!!
    Now that I've quoted the master of
    hyperbole---you, Deb--- I feel better, Lou
    cjpines and DEB321 like this.
  12. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    Today hasn't been one of my better days, but and this is one of those really BIG BUTS!!!, TU!!! although I HATE!!! that December and January SUCKED!!! BIG TIME!!!, TU!!! for you, I'm sorry... this message made me laugh!!! This is the first time I've laughed today. Laughing is such an underrated thing, but something I'll NEVER!!! (thought it but didn't say it), take for granted again. Now that I think of it, I've been using "underrated thing," lots lately too. Guessing this is either about to become stale, or already has too.

    Hope you're having the best day possible, warm, safe inside, with everything you need until you have to go out for your doctor's appointment later on this week.

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Van Gogh likes this.
  13. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Deb, just woke up from a nap----WHAT A
    SURPRISE!!! See, I can make fun of
    myself now. I was hypersensitive before
    & had trouble doing that. So glad I gave you a laugh, Deb. You are one of the most
    admired, respected, and loved people
    here. Gary complimented you by calling
    you the "den mother" of GIC. I love your
    colorful phrases. They never have an
    "expiration date" for me. Remember:
    "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".
    I always marveled at the really good
    comedians / impersonaters. , who could
    capture the essence of the person they
    were imitating. I'm not just talking about
    the most famous one,Rich Little,but the
    people like Frank Gorshin,who could
    transform his whole face & emotion,
    to do a perfect Burt Lancaster and Kirk
    Douglas. I know I'm getting off track here,
    but, with grief, it's important to have
    distractions, and yes, a good laugh, as you
    read recently in a Center for Loss quote.
    I always worry if a GW disappears for a
    while, but I have to learn, that there is a
    good reason. I was pleased that people
    worried about me, but I couldn't get on
    GIC bc I was in the hospital. I was concerned about Gary,& then he showed
    up. I'm trying not to be worried about
    Savannah, whose lively nostalgic banter
    with me about old TV shows from the 50s,
    music, & movies made us both think &
    smile. Maybe the fact that I said her name,
    will summon her up. Lou
  14. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I got a laugh out of this Lou.
    Van Gogh likes this.
  15. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    So glad, Karen! So did Deb, her 1st laugh
    of a horrible day. As I quoted to her:
    "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" ........ Lou
  16. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I’m glad you’re still here. Even if you’re not up to “talking,” I hope you continue to “visit.” I’ve learned so much from being here…. I hope in some small way, reading our stories is helping you cope with this total heartbreak too.

    Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Van Gogh likes this.
  17. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I'm so glad you can laugh at yourself now. I think laughter is one of the best weapons we have in our ongoing battle with Mr. Grief. A "beige" (thanks Linda!!!) world would SUCK!!!, TU!!! It would be so over the top boring.... Stopping here, before I begin rambling on and on and on about all the reasons why, especially because they're so over the top obvious, lol... Bob would definitely interrupt me right about now. Thinking about him is making me smile, even though I just had to grab a tissue. All of this SUCKS!!!

    Everyone of TGW contributes something valuable to our group. Together, using all of our combined coping mechanisms, makes us stronger. In time, I think we'll be able to keep Mr. Grief down on that mat where he belongs much more of the time, letting him up only when he's willing to unlock the gate to his way beyond twisted amusement park. However, even after we are set free, sadly... Mr. Grief will always be with us, but hopefully his grasp on us won't be nearly as tight.

    I'm always amazed at how a bunch of individuals, from all different parts of the country, all suffering the loss of the one true love of their lives, were able to come together, most importantly stick together, to form the solid bond that we now share. I'm forever grateful to each and every GW for making this possible. I don't think we would be the closely knit group that we are today, if it wasn't for you. You included us by name in many conversations, always asking for the names of our deceased loved ones, our first names too, knowing that this would feel so much more personal, and help us open up to each other. You cemented that bond when you thought of a name for our group. TGW is absolutely perfect!!!, TU!!! It is powerful... It always reminds me, especially when Mr. Grief hits me the hardest, that as warriors, we will NOT!!! give up!!! There is a reason why Gary named you the Godfather of TGW!!!, TU!!! Backing up just a bit, when Karen came up with Mr. Grief, it fit so perfectly... warriors fighting a monster, one of the biggest, most frightening/scary monsters, in the entire world!!!, TU!!! However, in the long run, Mr. Grief is no match for TGW!!! WE CAN AND WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!!!, TU!!! (Last one for now...) I believe this. I have to believe this.

    I hope that Savannah, Lorrie, and many others who have "visited" us, and have become a part of our group, know that we're always going to be here for them. I understand how difficult and scary it can be to "talk" to a bunch of "strangers," in such an impersonal environment, our conversations open to anyone, wherever there is internet access... Also, there are just times when all we can do is "listen," when Mr. Grief zaps us of all of our energy, leaving us way beyond emotionally and physically drained. Then there are times when as Gary just had to do, we need to step away from Mr. Grief, become MIA from TGW for awhile, doing whatever we need to do to "recharge our batteries," as you so perfectly described it.

    It's a beautiful sunny day in my small corner of SC. The temps might climb to 63 by mid to late afternoon. I'm going to take a much needed walk after lunch. I wish so much all TGW could join me... Maybe someday..., it'll be possible to send big boxes of sunshine and warmth, ship them everywhere, but sadly, it isn't happening in our lifetime. So, I will think of all of you where Mother Nature is being so mean!!!, and hope you are safe and warm, until Mother Nature decides she's had enough of being a total pita.

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Dreary, cjpines and Van Gogh like this.
  18. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member