Lonely

Patti,

I've been thinking about you, your granddaughter, and your soon to be great granddaughter nonstop. Whenever you have a moment, please update. I'm smiling this morning, in spite of the gloomy weather, knowing that soon you will be a great grandmother... A new baby is one of the most precious gifts there is.

Sending lots of hugs and love to you and JayCee, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Hi Deb, Lou, Gary Chad Karen Robin Rick Robin and everyone,
Thank you all for your prayers, just got word that all is good,
they named her Aletheia Sue and will call her Theia , I have been
a nervous wreck all morning, one would think I was having the baby
Sue goes back many many generations on first and middle names, it
Warmed my heart knowing it’s being carried on. I will be back later,
.so much I want to say to you all, Blessings, Patti

 

Congratulations Patti, all is well. Look forward to hearing more. Karen

 

Patti,

Congratulations!!! Thank you so much for sharing this way beyond, exciting, wonderful, the absolute best news with us!!! Thanks so much for the smiles!!!, especially on this miserable, gray, damp day...

As always, sending you and JayCee lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Gary, did you buy the book or go through the program course? Just curious. I may buy the book, anything that helps this grief process.
I was without TV for four days, couldn't find out what the problem was then Jacks son came over and found my Roku box was dead. It's up and running, but the house was so quiet, drove me crazy -- more stress. Yes, keeping motivated is work and sometimes I just give in, lock the doors and take a nap. I hate Mr. G's amusement park, it's time to blow it up and have some peace, especially the roller coaster ride. Always blessings, K

 

Karen, a very dear friend sent it to me. I saw the book on Amazon for $12. The author helps set the stage preparing us for writing the letters. They are not about our dearly beloved. They are written to them. Today’s letter was one of my favorite memories of Cheryl. The first letter was I need to express to you my memories of the day your life ended. And yesterday was I want you to know the empty spaces in my heart that only you could fill. Today’s letter busted open a dam of hundreds of fond memories. It’s pretty intense. I’m going to take a break for a couple days before I continue. Later in the prompts we let our beloved write back to us. That’s the invisible ink. I started on gathering tax information today and cooked spaghetti for lunch with a tossed salad. I filled the bird feeder and got the mail. Another 40 minutes on the exercise bike. I’m going to do a Brady Bunch meeting soon. Robin I love the story of your angelic snow remover. Patti when I woke up I envisioned a beautiful spirit taking residence in your great grand baby. Gary

 

Patti, Congratulations!! Glad everything went well. I love the name and that Sue has such meaning to your family. God bless little Theia and her Mom. Nothing warms our hearts more then a new little healthy baby coming into this world. Robin

 

Gary, Thank you for sharing more about the book I’m thinking maybe I need to get this book. I tried writing a journal but I had trouble with that. But this book helps you figure out what to write. I’ll look for it on Amazon. Gary, I don’t know if you realize but you’re doing a great job of pushing through and staying busy. You’re very inspiring. You and George helped me to work on a crochet project that I hadn’t touched in months. I’m glad you liked my miracle snow removal. I’m getting more snow this weekend. Would be awesome to happen again. It’s a nor’easter that’s supposed to dump 8 more inches on us. Tired of snow. I need to fill Rons bird feeder. I have a pair of cardinals plus chickadees, juncos, sparrows. And others visiting our feeder every day. Ted watches them with me every day. How are your “Brady Bunch” meetings going? Take Care, Robin

 

Hey Gary!
Woke up to minus 6 here and drove TB's GF to work and then the stupid check engine light comes on... Now there's no car or food in the Apt and no way to get to dialysis tomorrow. Thatz the life of TGWs. And I'm actually angry at Valerie (for dying on me) and I DON'T feel guilty anymore. I write about this to her in my journals. I LOVE her, but am so pissed. This is different than before. I think it is healing and looking at our 34 years from the perspective of being alone for a year. I hope I don't sound so stupid. I ad a good phone session with a grief counselor from the hospice we were with and these things just came out!
Stay warm my brother!

 

Thanks Robin. I appreciate how readily you greet the new members when they arrive. I can’t relive losing Cheryl today. The Brady Bunch meetings are good for me. Some I’ve been on have had over 100 people but the one last night had a dozen. They average 20-30 people. Its a relief from the loneliness. I was reading on AARP how loneliness causes physical pain. I can relate. For what I’ve seen the grief zoom meetings come with a fee except for one in Florida which is Christian based. Of all the different free support groups it surprises me there are almost zero for grief. I’ve got the virus jitters. I’m about a month over due for a haircut and I haven’t found a safe place yet. I’m looking out at my bird feeder now and have the same species of birds you have. I saw the nor’ easter heading your way too. I hope it misses you. Spring is coming soon. I’m meeting with my healer again tomorrow morning then I’ll go ice fishing afterwards. Take care. Gary

 

George we are having a heat wave at 15 degrees here Compared to Chi Town. I hope you can get your car fixed soon. Could you get a rental? I wonder if any of the grocery stores deliver? I’m glad you got to talk with a grief counselor. Mine gave me homework for the next session. The work was related to empowering ourselves. I’m always amazed at your never giving up attitude Bro. Take care. Gary

 

I have lived in Chicago all my life and I have to say it has been colder but this is the coldest I've ever been.. BTW it has gotten up to a balmy 9 here! I can get a loaner when one is available, hopefully by Saturday. It was cool to vent to the Seasons Grief Counselor. Really needed that today. Need a trauma informed therapist I found out. We'll see when that happens. There's too much crazy crap going down right now. The counselor also said that about my attitude. I suppose it might be true but I feel so awful anyway. But keep trying to try... that's all one can do. I do feel more empowered lately... hence the anger I think.

 

Sounds like you are doing great work, George. The journaling, the being ok with being pissed off. I’m glad the counseling session went well. Sorry ‘bout the car thing though, that sucks. ~Bernadine

 

George you’re honest and you’re trying hard. I can only see good things happening for you. Getting steered in the right direction is what I am hoping for. I am confident with my healer. My goal is to stay with her until the covid gets under control. I might stay longer if needed though. The first time I tried therapy was in 1992. I rejected all the suggestions the therapist had for me. I finally broke the stigma of getting professional help. Plus I finally stayed stopped for drinking. there was no way I could fix me with my caveman mentality. I’m going to try and hit another Brady Bunch meeting tonight. Stay warm younger Bro. Gary

 

Thank you Gary, I know how it feels to join and not get a reply at all for such a long time. If I can say anything that might help someone, then I’m good. I don’t want others to feel how I felt. As I look back now I realize just how low I was, such a deep dark place. I actually gave up on anyone answering my post. I finally got an answer and it felt so nice. Someone understands exactly what I’m feeling. I don’t want others to feel like I felt.
Gary, I’d come over and give you a haircut if I could. I’m a licensed beautician, I miss cutting Rons hair. I was planning on giving him a haircut the day after he passed. I stopped working as a beautician when we opened our business but still cut family snd friends hair.
I’m glad the meeting are good for you. I can’t imagine 100 people. A dozen seems more useful. I know the feeling of I can’t relive that nightmare again today. Yesterday I forced myself to get out of the house. I felt like I was becoming a hermit. While driving I put my XM radio on. I had been doing better with music. Well not yesterday. My mind relived it all. And I’m out supposed to be getting my blood flowing and supposed to be a positive outing. Then after shopping I saw a man helping his wife just like Ron helped me. He helped her out of the car gave her support etc. I lost it again. I wished I had stayed home. I’ll try again, I have to.
I’m glad you’ll be getting out today. Will your niece be joining you? I think Laura is your niece anyway.
I’m staying in today, and looks like the nor’easter will be “fun” starting late tomorrow. Robin

 

Robin I would gladly trade an antler handle cane for a haircut. I’m glad you got out but sorry you had to experience some intense emotions. I’m feeling them too. I think I’ve taken on too much grief at one time and need to take a break. Laura just quit her job in a liquor store and started in a local bank. She was a high school English teacher for 15 years before the liquor store. Now Laura will only get Sunday off. But Laura still wants to go fishing. The fishing expedition yesterday was exhausting. Walking through snow and drilling holes wore me out. I did experience some peace without catching any keepers though. I saw the nor’ easter is intensifying. I hope you and Lou don’t lose your power. They are calling for 8-14” of snow next week here. No earth shattering revelation at therapy yesterday. But my healer had met the author of Invisible Ink who did a seminar at the local Visiting Nurses. I’ve written Cheryl 3 letters now and I’m taking a break. But I no longer feel paralyzed with grief in Brady Bunch meetings and have begun participating. I thought I had a good sleep last night until I realized it was 3am. I wrestled through different sleep positions and finally concentrated on my breathing and woke up after 7. I need to start picking up around the house do some laundry and defend myself from the dreaded dust bunnies. One thing I did learn is there are yoga classes for grief healing. Grief effects certain parts of our body. Some of the yoga you can do sitting in a chair. I’m going to check that out. Take care. Gary

 

Hey Gary,
Do you make walking sticks? I would love to commission one (hope that doesn’t feel odd on a message board)~B

 

Doesn’t seem odd to me. The photo is what I have now. The trouble is figuring out how to ship them. When I’m ready to sell them on Facebook marketplace I will give you a heads up. Gary

 

Gary I’d take that trade in a heartbeat. If only we lived closer. I hope Laura gets to spend some quality time with you sometime soon. I’m glad you felt some peace during your fishing even though it was tiring. I’m doing ok with this snow. Still have power thankfully. And a ton of snow. It’s heavy, and Ted needed to go out. Open the door to ten or twelve inches Poor Ted turned and walked away. I made a path on the deck, but it took a while. Let’s just say Teddy couldn’t wait but he was outside just not on the ground. The wind is making drifts. I haven’t heard from Lou, hopefully he’s doing ok.
Good to hear that you feel more comfortable with the Brady Bunch meetings. You’re making good progress. You’re working hard at it. It’s impressive. I do that too. Think wow I slept so good but it’s only 2 or 3 am. You mention cleaning up, I often wonder how Ron would do with those things. He helped me but I’m just not sure how he’d attack it. He wouldn’t be a slob but I think he’d let things wait a while.
So I wrote this earlier and never posted it. Lou is doing ok, has power and has people offering to get him supplies. Thanks for sharing a picture. They look awesome. I now have about 20” of snow and very windy. App says feels like 0. Last I was out clearing a path for Ted it felt like 0. And I hurt my shoulder. Really hope I don’t have to shovel more tonight. The snow has pretty much stoppe finally. Hope you’re having a good day I’m going to post this this time. Robin

 

Gary, I was worried about you. Last I
heard, you were depressed about winter,
like George & I are. I was glad you had
ice fishing, at least.I was confused by the
different "threads". Originally, I saw you
on "When does it get better?" Then, my
new friend , Savannah, from Ohio, whose
husband,Ted, died after many years of
marriage,showed up on "Good Days. Bad
Days". I don't remember you welcoming
her, like you usually do with potential
new members. Glad I found you. Deb gave
me the idea to try another thread. Lou