*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!
Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Daisy171, Mar 24, 2023.
Great, Rose, bc I just did! Lou Travolta
Hi Jackie. I’m terribly sorry for the loss of your wife Helen 2.5 months ago. My name is Gary and my girlfriend Cheryl transitioned 23 months ago suddenly and unexpectedly from a cardiac arrest and I was Cheryl’s first responder. I found a local in person grief support immediately but they only meet bimonthly. I secured a therapist that was more like a friend who caught covid and stopped working. I watched my community of family and friends quickly vanish. I had one brother and 2 friends that I was comfortable with expressing my grief. Finally 5 months later I found GIC. I don’t have to wait 2 weeks to be with a group of people who “get it “. On this site I have learned about other grief support tools like centerforloss.com. That site has the article the 6 Needs of the Mourner which is a basic playbook in our grief journey. Center for Loss also has a daily grief devotional which can be sent to your email by calling them. But more importantly is GIC where I don’t feel like the Lone Ranger constantly living in isolation. People at GIC support and encourage each. I am glad you found us and I hope you stay Jackie. Gary
Haha! Inspired , Lombardo, even though I
think he's a doofus...
Thanks I try hard not to be too much of a doofus these daze.
Lou of the Lobstralto Files ... it's like a way cooler X-Files for lobsters.
I meant Geraldo , way past his prime!
I thought you meant I was the Doofus! LoL
George, I would never call you , Gary,
Chad, or any new brother member that!
Rose, just woke up, briefly, at 1:30 am,
my time, hoping to find you. Did you get
my email, so that we can have a private
conversation? Lou, The Godfather
No Lou. I was actually just going to contact you (strangely, I got up later this morning) to tell you that I haven't received your message. Maybe something went wrong?
Rose, just woke up around 7am. Let's try
this: email@example.com. Lou T.
P.S. Rose, my message to you was at
9:35am, my time, under a new thread I
started : Loss of Spouse. One way, or
another, this should work! Lou Travolta
Lou I've just sent you a message by clicking on yr profile and using "Start a conversation". It should be in your Inbox.
I know! Just being felicitatous!
Haha! Bro Lombardo!
Thanks for the note, Gary. These are early 'raw' days. I'm just getting to understand the process of Grief and the Grief Brain, and how each day can be so different. I've been reaching out to friends and talking as much as I can as it gets rid of my nervous energy. I was assigned a grief counselor through the hospice program and then I requested one from CancerCare. Both have been good. I think I'm learning to reframe everything I think - and believe we have to tell ourselves more positive stories
Jackie, as I told you, I want to welcome
you to our band of brother widowers. I'm
the oldest, thenGary, now you, George,
and Chad, and whoever else decides to
stay with us. Karen was the first person
here to welcome and comfort me, and I
want to do the same for new members.
I believe we're put on this earth to help
others. Though it's been over 4 years
since Linda's sudden collapse & death in
front of me, I still have waves of sadness,
and miss her. I plan to rejoin a widowed
persons group next week. Lou
Hi Jackie. I had daily balling jags for 2-3 months after Cheryl transitioned. They would start late morning and run through early afternoon. From brother Lou I found out about the book Permission to Mourn by Tom Zuba which helped me a lot. Our response to Grief is like a toxin. grief has to bubble up and out of us. If we try to deny it we will likely have unhealthy behaviors and health problems. Tom Zuba has a YouTube video. I have to express my grief in order to start healing. I learned to stay away from people who tried to fix me or wanted me to get back to being myself. I need people who support my grieving process or are neutral in it. Those types are very had to find except for here. The Number one rule is to be very gentle and compassionate with yourself. Gary
Gary - Thanks for the note and the book suggestion. Yes, I'm staying away from Fixers. I go through my bouts of Regrets and tears. Little things bring back memories and I miss her a lot.