*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

Lonely, in despair, help needed

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Daisy171, Mar 24, 2023.

  1. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Great, Rose, bc I just did! Lou Travolta
     
    eyepilot13, Gary166 and Rose69 like this.
  2. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Hi Jackie. I’m terribly sorry for the loss of your wife Helen 2.5 months ago. My name is Gary and my girlfriend Cheryl transitioned 23 months ago suddenly and unexpectedly from a cardiac arrest and I was Cheryl’s first responder. I found a local in person grief support immediately but they only meet bimonthly. I secured a therapist that was more like a friend who caught covid and stopped working. I watched my community of family and friends quickly vanish. I had one brother and 2 friends that I was comfortable with expressing my grief. Finally 5 months later I found GIC. I don’t have to wait 2 weeks to be with a group of people who “get it “. On this site I have learned about other grief support tools like centerforloss.com. That site has the article the 6 Needs of the Mourner which is a basic playbook in our grief journey. Center for Loss also has a daily grief devotional which can be sent to your email by calling them. But more importantly is GIC where I don’t feel like the Lone Ranger constantly living in isolation. People at GIC support and encourage each. I am glad you found us and I hope you stay Jackie. Gary
     
    RLC, Rose69, eyepilot13 and 1 other person like this.
  3. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Lobstralta Rivera
     
    Rose69 and Van Gogh like this.
  4. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Haha! Inspired , Lombardo, even though I
    think he's a doofus...
     
    Rose69 and eyepilot13 like this.
  5. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Thanks I try hard not to be too much of a doofus these daze.
     
    Rose69 and Van Gogh like this.
  6. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Lou of the Lobstralto Files ... it's like a way cooler X-Files for lobsters.
     
    Rose69 likes this.
  7. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    I meant Geraldo , way past his prime!
     
    eyepilot13 likes this.
  8. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I thought you meant I was the Doofus! LoL
     
    Van Gogh likes this.
  9. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    George, I would never call you , Gary,
    Chad, or any new brother member that!
     
    eyepilot13 likes this.
  10. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Rose, just woke up, briefly, at 1:30 am,
    my time, hoping to find you. Did you get
    my email, so that we can have a private
    conversation? Lou, The Godfather
     
    Gary166 and Rose69 like this.
  11. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    No Lou. I was actually just going to contact you (strangely, I got up later this morning) to tell you that I haven't received your message. Maybe something went wrong?
    Rose.
     
    Gary166 and Van Gogh like this.
  12. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

  13. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    P.S. Rose, my message to you was at
    9:35am, my time, under a new thread I
    started : Loss of Spouse. One way, or
    another, this should work! Lou Travolta
     
  14. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Lou I've just sent you a message by clicking on yr profile and using "Start a conversation". It should be in your Inbox.
     
    Gary166 and Van Gogh like this.
  15. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I know! Just being felicitatous!
     
    Van Gogh likes this.
  16. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Haha! Bro Lombardo!
     
  17. JackieH1029

    JackieH1029 Active Member

    Thanks for the note, Gary. These are early 'raw' days. I'm just getting to understand the process of Grief and the Grief Brain, and how each day can be so different. I've been reaching out to friends and talking as much as I can as it gets rid of my nervous energy. I was assigned a grief counselor through the hospice program and then I requested one from CancerCare. Both have been good. I think I'm learning to reframe everything I think - and believe we have to tell ourselves more positive stories
     
  18. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Jackie, as I told you, I want to welcome
    you to our band of brother widowers. I'm
    the oldest, thenGary, now you, George,
    and Chad, and whoever else decides to
    stay with us. Karen was the first person
    here to welcome and comfort me, and I
    want to do the same for new members.
    I believe we're put on this earth to help
    others. Though it's been over 4 years
    since Linda's sudden collapse & death in
    front of me, I still have waves of sadness,
    and miss her. I plan to rejoin a widowed
    persons group next week. Lou
     
  19. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Hi Jackie. I had daily balling jags for 2-3 months after Cheryl transitioned. They would start late morning and run through early afternoon. From brother Lou I found out about the book Permission to Mourn by Tom Zuba which helped me a lot. Our response to Grief is like a toxin. grief has to bubble up and out of us. If we try to deny it we will likely have unhealthy behaviors and health problems. Tom Zuba has a YouTube video. I have to express my grief in order to start healing. I learned to stay away from people who tried to fix me or wanted me to get back to being myself. I need people who support my grieving process or are neutral in it. Those types are very had to find except for here. The Number one rule is to be very gentle and compassionate with yourself. Gary
     
  20. JackieH1029

    JackieH1029 Active Member

    Gary - Thanks for the note and the book suggestion. Yes, I'm staying away from Fixers. I go through my bouts of Regrets and tears. Little things bring back memories and I miss her a lot.
     
    Rose69, Gary166 and Van Gogh like this.