Lonely, in despair, help needed

Will someone please explain what is available on this site to communicate with more members. No one is in live chat when I get there and I don't know where else to communicate.

 

Daisy, I am here!

 

Daisy, when I wanted to talk privately
with a member, I would use the thread,
Start a Conversation, and then, put in
the user name of the person with whom I
wanted contact. For example: cjpines
( for Karen) or Van Gogh ( for me). At
that point, you can check off "locked box"
and your posts will be private. I can now
text, email, call, or send letters, to 3
members . I'm the only one in
Massachusetts, so I'm not getting
together with anyone, but it's great to
have personal contact outside Grief in
Common ( GIC). If you have any problems,
you can email Karyn Arnold for help. Lou

 

Hey Daisy! What is it that you're looking for ? As Lou said you can do.private conversations. If you no who you want to talk to click on their name and start a conversation with them. You can respond to posts on any thread by hitting reply under that person's message . I think chat has people in it in the mornings. You can continue to make posts and some will respond to it and you can reply back . It just depends o what you looking for. I know right now you frustrated and having someone to talk to can help. We're all here for you. Reach out which ever way is best for.you.

 

Thank you. I am just so sad and fragile and lost right now. I will start reaching out more. I just want people to communicate with remotely.

 

That’s completely understandable. I do hope that you have some in-person connections too.

 

I am starting to follow people, like you! I'm not sure what that means, but it seems like a start.

 

It is a good place to start. ❤️

 

Daisy, I have clicked on "reply" just underneath your post, so you will be notified that I have replied to your particular post. Like our friends have already suggested, you can also click on "Start a conversation" with any member and message to each other privately at any time. I have a six hour time difference from you, it's 7am here now, so it's the middle of the night in NY . If you like, we could arrange to chat at a particular time when we can talk with direct, immediate responses.
A big hug , and please know we are all here for you.
Rose.

 

I know exactly what you are talking about Daisy. I could not control my emotions for at least 2 months after Cheryl transitioned. I got tired and frustrated with friends and family because I could barely carry on a conversation without balling my eyes out. So When someone would call I wouldn’t answer but text them and tell them to text me. That was the only form of communication I was comfortable with. I communicated that way for a long time. I learned in grief support to hang with the people who supported my grieving or were neutral about it. And to stay away from people who wanted to fix me or wanted me to get back to normal. That’s what makes the grief warriors here so special. Gary

 

Gary, your words are sacred, the best advice anyone could ever give to someone grieving their soulmate is to keep a distance from "non-supporters". I've eliminated contacts because of this, they just make me feel worse. The only people I can really pour my heart out to, are all of you,who understand. We just need to relate to others who "get it". That's why we're here, "together we stand", otherwise we will wobble.

 

Hi Daisy - I'm here. Live

 

Welcome, Jackie.Thank you so much for
reaching out to a new member, Daisy, of
Grief in Common. I'm very sorry to hear
about the death of your wife. May I ask her
name? I feel that it honors the soulmate's
memory. I noticed you're over 10 yrs
younger than I am, and live in N.Y. I live
on the northern coast of Massachusetts .
My wife, Linda, died suddenly in front of
me, at 68, after 25 yrs of marriage, no
children. That was over 4 yrs ago. I had to
see a grief counselor at the time. She
suggested this kind forum, but I didn't join
until July of 2021. My regret ( though I
try not to have too many)is that I didn't
join earlier. I commend you for doing so.
I hope you will join me in my band of
brothers here: Gary, from Indiana,
George, from Illinois, and Chad , from
Texas. Lou

 

Hi Lou, how are you doing? I thought I would reach out to welcome Jackie too.

Hi Jackie, we are all here to talk to you and support you. I'm so sorry about the sudden loss of your wife, it's still early days for you and you have done the right thing joining this site. Just like Lou said, I wish I had done this earlier, I joined a year and a half after losing my husband suddenly, unexpectedly at only 57 years of age. Everyone here has been so sweet, empathetic and understanding with me and have helped me a lot in my struggle. We need to share our feelings and thoughts with other people who have experienced the same loss, others just don't "get it".
Sending you strength.
Rose, from Italy.

 

Her name was Helen. I think I tried reaching out on a conversation. This site is a bit difficult to navigate. Not sure how to connect with Garry, George and Chad.

 

Thank you Rose. I'm still confused how to navigate this site/forum. But thank you for the kind welcome. I'd love to chat one on one or in a group. Just need to let my feelings out and get some emotional support. I agree that most people just don't 'get it'. As they say - it's the club no one really wants to join. But we're here and all we can do is share stories and get support.

 

Rose, thanks for asking how I am, and
welcoming Jackie. I have an idea. I'm
already in personal contact with 2
widower brothers and 2 widow sisters
on Grief in Common. I would love to
use the "Start a Conversation" thread
with you, so we could email, text, write
letters , & show photos of where we
live. You and I share a love of music and
nature, Though I jokingly refer to myself
as Lou Travolta. with my 3 female
dance partners, I think of Linda every
morning, and cry occasionally, like I did
this morning. I've decided to rejoin a
widowed support group, which I'd left
4 yrs ago, bc I felt uncomfortable being
the only guy there. Now, I'll be joined by
2 older buddies, About to "Start a
Conversation" with you, Rose. Lou

 

Yeah, I'm tired of FIXERS too. And insensitive folks who want to talk about their misfortunes and troubles. They're not inconsequential - but pale in the face of death of a spouse. Stay strong. Please connect. Love to chat and share your grief in whatever way I can.

 

Jackie, thank you for saying Helen's name.
You're doing fine, with your posts and
replies on this particular thread,
Lonely, in despair, help needed. Gary and
others will contact you soon. If you'd
also like to have private , one on one,
talks. you can use the thread: " Start a
Conversation", and check off "lock it", so
it will be private. I'm doing that with 2
widowers & 2 widows on this site, as I
just told Rose, in Italy. Lou

 

Yes, that's fine with me Lou.