Just lost wife of 23 years

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Gerald, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Correction: One of my closest friends, not
    "NY" friends. Lou
  2. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I don't have much time right now, but I want to thank you for sharing that very special and beautiful picture of Caryl. Like Lou, I still can't look at pictures of my wedding, or go anywhere near the boxes of photo albums that are filled with pictures taken a long time ago. It's way too painful. I have to leave the doors to the guest bathroom and the guest bedroom closed, because of the very traumatic circumstances surrounding the last night Bob was alive. I feel like I have PTSD from that night at home, and from Bob's stay in the ER later that night, through the early morning hours of the next day, when he passed away at 3:45 a.m.

    Although you might not think so, I think it was very brave for you to post the beautiful picture of Caryl here, to share it with all of us. I think, even though I know you don't see it this way, that you've taken a big step in moving forward along this miserable path, that not one of us would have chosen to take.

    So much more I would like to say to you, but I have to stop here (for now.)

    Please take care of yourself the best you can. Caryl would want this for you. I believe with all my heart that Caryl would want you to be happy. Athough it will never be the same, and although the dark cloud of grief will always be hanging over your head, from what I've been told by others who are further along in their grief journeys than I am, it is possible to find happiness again. However, it will always be mixed with sorrow too.

    Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    Patti 61 and Van Gogh like this.
  3. Patti 61

    Patti 61 Guest

    Hi Ron,
    Unable to use my iPad often.
    Just read your post, I understand
    what all you are feeling. Your wife Caryl
    is a beautiful lady.
    Ron, have you thought of getting a nice
    walker with comfortable seating?
    When my husband Jack had Parkinson's,
    I bought him one like I mentioned, he
    couldnt use a cane. The walker was
    great help in early stage of the disease,
    ( age of 56) I took care of him through
    the next 24 years, nine years prior to
    his passing at home (in my arms) I
    cared for him 24-7.
    I have cried every awakening morning,
    missing Jack.
    I know when , in God's timeing
    we will be united together in Heaven.
    God carried me during those years
    Of Jack's illness, and when HE took him
    to Heaven. It's been very hard on this
    now journey of grief, I daily pray
    and call out to God , to give me
    peace within my broken heart.
    Not far behind you in age, I will
    be 84 years of age in January. We
    were blessed with each other 61
    Years, our 65th was last May. How
    he looked forward to the age of
    retirement ,but instead , had to retire
    much earlier because of horrible
    I now spend my life thanking
    God for each and every day we had
    together, our marriage our great
    love forone another.
    I know God has things
    HE wants me to do in what life I have
    remaining on this earth, I am
    Keeping you in prayer along
    with all others here.
    Blessings, Patti
    Van Gogh and DEB321 like this.
  4. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Patti, it was so kind for you to reach out to
    Ron. You and Deb ( who "talks" with me
    every morning and night) have been an
    inspiration to me. You seem much younger
    than your chronological years, bc you
    take an interest in people, and try to
    comfort them, despite your own pain. My
    role model in my small town is a woman,
    97 years old. She buried TWO husbands,
    but doesn't dwell on the past, unless one
    asks her. She has a positive attitude, likes
    to hear other people's stories, including
    mine. Her kindness shines through. She
    walks everywhere, with a wheelie, which
    has a basket, into which she can put her
    sweater & bags. She always dresses
    nicely, and wears large hats to protect
    her face from the sun. The woman never
    smoked or drank, and looks like she's in
    her late 70s. Most of all, she has a great
    sense of humor, like many of the people
    here, despite our pain. I guess some of our
    greatest comedians came out of sadness.