Just lost the love of my life

Sweetcole, I'm glad my talk about the
old phones brought back good memories
of your grandfather. I was fortunate to
know my loving grandparents. Even
though they died many years ago, I
remember their kind faces, as if it were
yesterday. May I ask your real first
name? If you'd rather not say, I understand. I got tired of my user name,
Van Gogh. Lou

 

Rita, thanks for that hole in the ground
analogy to the grief over our soulmates'
deaths. It really captures how I feel, in
so many ways. When Linda died
suddenly, in front of me, over 3 years
ago, I didn't care if I lived or died. Now,
I watch my health, & look both ways
when I cross the street, bc I want to
live. Lou

 

We know exactly where Debra Rita Helena and Nancy are right now in their journey. Deb would get right to the point and tell you this sucks. TUTTAM! Combined strategies can to be used to keep Mr Grief away temporarily. I’ve had two different therapists in my grief journey. Both have suggested mindfulness. Years ago I went to a hypnotist and he taught me how to count backwards from 50 to zero concentrating only on my chest rising and falling as I breathed. It takes a lot of practice to work. Counting backwards distracts the mind and the thought process begins to slow. As the thought process slows we become aware of our 5 senses more and our thoughts less. My hypnotist explained when a computer would malfunction it was important to turn it off 5 minutes and then turn it back on. Our brains work the same way. They have to be reset also to work better. This technique is excellent for falling asleep. I do it every night. My new healer told me to go back into my childhood and recall obstacles I had to overcome. And look at other obstacles in my life that I had to overcome also. By putting this information on paper and reviewing it empowers me. I need to review this regularly or I forget. I was told to complement myself on any accomplishment. Such as; I did a good job doing the dishes, I made a good breakfast, I got most of the stuff I needed at the store, taking the walk was a good idea, I’m glad I shared that with a friend, I’m glad I didn’t take the call from so and so, ect. I just wanted to share some things that I’ve learned. Gary

 

Thank you, Debra, for your kind reply, as
always. My day is starting out better
than I thought it would. Even though I
had some strange dreams about talking
with people I don't know, it was a lot
better than the "hug Linda" dream. I went
to the American Legion for their Sat.
open house coffee. I'm the only non
veteran ( I had a high lottery number
during the Vietnam war, & did not
serve). I'm greeted warmly, bc the
veterans know I honor their heroism.
My closest friend there is 92, a Korean
War vet, whose wife died after many
years of marriage. We've formed a
bond. There was a lot of laughter
today, and kidding each other. We stayed
in the hall later than usual, bc we were
having a good time. There was a heavy
fog ( which I like) instead of rain. I'm
having breakfast at local place, across
from the beach. I feel grateful to God
to be alive, and in this beautiful place.. It's starting to rain now, but if it
isn't too heavy, I hope to walk with my
umbrella. It will be 50s for a while, which
is fine, after the long, cold winter. I'm
amazed that you have 70s temps in Ca,
and Deb has that in South Carolina. Hope
you have a peaceful day, too, Debra. Lou

 

My name name is Nicole.. my grandfather called me grandma.. lol! He was the only grandparent I knew. He was something else but crazy bout his grand children. He's been dead many years also. Im actually surprised I remember so much bout him because I was young but it just goes to show how much of an impact he made on me.

I think its awesome to compliment yourself on things. You no how they say you got to like yourself first so complimenting yourself make sense. You're being there for others so feeling good about yourself first will help you be there for them more. Keep that up and thanks for sharing.

 

Well, Robin, thank you & others for not
making me feel old, reminiscing about
phones & other things from our youth.
Linda was a year younger than I am,
so we shared the same cultural history,
in music, TV shows, movies,and news.
Linda often bemoaned a simpler, less
crowded time, in the 1950s, when we
grew up. I would point out that there
were problems then, too, but we were
children, & didn't have to deal with them.
We were lucky with a pleasant fog, no
rain this am. I'm in a breakfast spot
across the street from the beach. It just
started to rain heavily. I may think about
staying here, using my phone, until it
lets up. I have an umbrella, but would be
drenched right now, even with it. Maybe
I'll stay for lunch. I'm enjoying the blues
music, which is quite fitting today. Lou

 

You're so welcome, Lou. And thank you for your kind, warm response. And I'm so glad that your day has started out better than you thought it would. And hopefully the rest of your day will continue to be good. And it is so good as well that although you had some strange dreams in which you were talking about people you don't know, it was a lot better, and that you went to the American Legion for their Sat. Open house coffee. And although you are a non veteran, you were greeted warmly bc they know you honor their heroism. And I'm so glad that you have a close friend there whom you've formed a bond with, and that there was a lot of laughter and kidding each other, and that you stayed longer than usual. It is so good to be around our closest friends, and to have those good times with them! And I know what you mean, as I like fog as well instead of rain. And it is wonderful that you also had breakfast at a local place across from the beach, as it is so beautiful there!! And I'm so glad that you are enjoying your day, I was so hoping you would! And I'm so glad to know that you are feeling grateful to God to be alive and in a beautiful place... and I hope that the rain wasn't too heavy, so that you were able to walk with your umbrella. And actually being that it is in the 50s there, it is milder temperatures compared to what it was there throughout the long, cold winter, which makes going outdoors easier. And thankfully, Deb and I have our weather in the 70s. And thank you for your wishes for me to have a peaceful day, and hopefully all of the rest of your day will be good as well as peaceful, and I wish you to have peace in every day.
Take care always
Debra

 

By all means Lou, Stay and enjoy your company and music. Have a nice lunch. This could last a while. It’s not horrible but the hard rain comes and goes. I just now got an alert for snow starting soon. Not much though.
Your mention of the rotary phones brought back a lot of memories. Being young and not a problem in my young naive life. My grandparents had those phone desk type tables. Not sure what they’re called.
Stay where you are for now and stay dry. Not sure how long of a walk you have to get back home. But there are breaks in the storm. Blues music is very fitting.
We’re only as old as we feel Lou. Some days I feel pretty darn old but we each keep trying to enjoy life as best we can. Ron told me years ago, to not waste time mourning him. He’ll be waiting for me when it’s my time. But that’s very. Hard to do. We all try.
Robin

 

Thank you so much for saying your name,
Nicole. I love GIC, bc we've become close
friends. We can talk freely about our
grief over the deaths of our soulmates.
Your grandfather sounds like mine. He
always had a twinkle in his eye, until
my grandmother died at 69, from
cancer. He lived 2 years longer, but the
light went out in his eyes. Ironically,
Linda died at 68, from cancer, also, but
I'm determined not to let that light go out
just yet. Lou

 

Robin, I love that phrase that "we're only as old as we feel". As I've probably said
before, many people think I'm 10 years
younger, bc I'm interested in people &
like to laugh wth them. Some people my
age just talk about their ailments, seem a
lot older, & not pleasant to be around. Lou

 

Landlines. Rotary phones.
Always carry a dime for the nearest pay phone.
My grandmother still had a party line when I was young.
And how about the horrible screeching of a dial up internet connection?
~B

 

Wow I forgot about party lines. Yup my grandmother had that too.
Dial up internet. Torture.

 

Bernadine, thanks for the "party line"
memory. That was weird, waiting for
strangers to hang up. My grandparents
had that, too. In the Andy Griffith Show,
Sheriff Andy Taylor ( Griffith) would get
mad, bc he had to talk with the nosy
operator, in order to make a call. I should
have started a new thread called
"reminiscing"...... a nice distraction from
grief. Lou

 

Robin, see my reply to Bernadine about
party lines. Lou

 

Your area sounds beautiful Lou. Being able to see the beach from your breakfast spot has to be amazing. I lived in Florida many years ago, but never liked the weather there even though was close to river and beach, just too hot. My husband and I both preferred the north. We both loved the northeast coast. Never made it that far north as far as actually living there, but traveled up there several times. Always loved it. Enjoy every minute you can Lou! Hugs, peace and comfort to you and everyone on GIC, Rita

 

Rita, I love every season except one-----
the long, cold, & sometimes snowy
winter, which makes it more difficult to
walk by the ocean. My small town becomes
deserted, all the shops & art galleries
closed. That's when I get on a bus, as a
senior. & go to a nearby larger city, with
a main street filled with restaurants and
stores. One successful, retired couple
friends of mine spend winters in Florida &
summers here, the best of both worlds.
Other people spend a week in Florida, just
for a break. Linda & I traveled all over
Florida, & before Linda went into the
hospital, we thought of moving down
there & renting a place to see how we
liked it. Linda grew up here, & was tired of
it, & the tough winters. I did not grow up
here, so I felt differently. If my health holds
up, I plan to make this my forever home.
We did enough traveling, & I don't want to
anymore. Lou

 

I miss that world I knew... I grew up during the early 70s so I really was part of that era still.. I really cannot stand the technocratic, fast paced wiFi world of 5Gee today. I hate computers a lot and SMRT phones. I wish I could go back home again. The 4th Industrial Revolution (4t) really Sux!

 

I am so not doing good again! I want to be strong. Every time I think I'm doing better I fall back into the morass of self doubt and hopelessness... Wishing you lotsa love and huge hugz!

 

George, I agree. Linda & I used to like to
sit at a quiet bar, having drinks & dinner.
I remember the night we saw the first
cellphone. We were horrified & angry
that some jerk was yammering loudly on
his phone, probably trying to impress the
other bar patrons. Whenever we saw that
again, Linda would say, sarcastically, that
he or she was talking to his cat. I know
that texting can be useful, at times, but
when I need comfort, or a laugh, I want to
hear a friend's voice. Lou

 

I'm so sorry that you are so not doing good again! And it really is so hard to continue on a path of doing good, as there are waves of grief that we continually go through... and I know exactly how you feel, and I feel your pain, even though I want to be strong also! That morass of self doubt and hopelessness... it just wears me out emotionally qnd physically completely when I go through that!! And hopefully we will find some peace and get a break from Mr. Grief today!! And thank you so much for wishing me lotsa love and huge hugz! And I wish you the same!
And you will be in my thoughts.
Take care always,
Debra