Just lost the love of my life

That last post accidentally got posted twice. And today was an extremely difficult, day for me, as I had cried so much, all I could think of was how can I keep going? But then I know that I have to!! I have my two daughters to take care of... so I have been taking one day at a time, as one of my friends call it, baby steps. And I know that as difficult as it is, and throughout all the tears,sleepless nights, and extremely depressing days, Keith would want me to keep going... but I'm so trying to gain strength to continue to get through every day. And getting out and taking walks does help, and so I do that every day... and I know exactly how each and every person here on GIC feels. And I'm so grateful to have found this site. And thank you so much to all of you who have reached out to me!!
Debra

 

Debra, thank you so much for caring about
me, through your own tears about Keith.
It looks like both of us had bad days, as well as Deb.You once said sadly,that one
day was like the next, in your grieving.
That happened to me after that dream
about Linda shook me up. It took most of
the day to realize it was Friday, not
Saturday. I fought with Mr. Grief on a
bus ride home, bc I passed places which
Linda & I went to. It wasn't 'til I walked
down the Neck on the ocean to visit my
friends, that I was able to shake off the
gloomy thoughts. I had a relaxing evening
& went to sleep early,after all that emotion
and walking. Just woke up to take pills, &
found you on GIC. Now, I will go back to
sleep,almost 10:30pm,my time. May both
of us have pleasant dreams. Lou

 

Thank you for sending this. Karen

 

I lost my husband 1 year and 4 months ago. At the beginning some of the people on the forum that have gone beyond the 1 year mark said it would get better. I didn't believe it until I got to the 1 year and maybe a couple of months before. Yes, it gets better, but for me it just changes meaning the grief changes and somehow you survive. Hard to explain just the shock has become less painful.

 

You're so welcome, Lou. And most unfortunately you and I as well as Deb all had bad days. And I do remember saying that one day is like the next in my grieving, and not one single day goes by in which I don't experience extreme grief. Oh, Lou, I'm so sorry about what happened to you after that dream about Linda shook you up! And that it took most of the day to realize it was Friday, not Saturday. And I know how you felt as you fought with Mr. Grief on your bus ride home as you passed places that you and Linda went to. I know, how miserably difficult that was for you!! And although it wasn't 'til you walked down the Neck on the ocean to visit your friends, that you were able to shake off your gloomy thoughts, it is so good that you were able to finally shake those gloomy thoughts and have some time with your friends, as well as have a relaxing evening, and that you fell asleep early. And I also know that having all those emotions on top of walking definitely took it's toll in making you feel so tired...and it is also good that you took your pills before going back to sleep. And thank you so much for reaching back out to me. And for wishing me to have a pleasant dream. And I'm hoping that you will have a pleasant dream also. And just know that you are in my thoughts, and I'm wishing for you to have peaceful days as well as nights. And for you to enjoy your walks in nature. The ocean is so beautiful!
Take care always
Debra

 

Good morning, Debra. It is 6am on a
rainy Sat. here. Hopefully you are sound
asleep in California. Sometimes it feels like
you, Karen, Nancy, & Bernadine are in a
different country from me, in the state of
Massachusetts, bc of the 3 hour time
difference. It's a little frustrating, bc I have
to wait for a reply. I'm like that with
texting, too. I grew up with a landline
phone, so I could have an immediate
response. To show how old I am, I even
had a rotary, dial phone, not even a push
button one. I thought I'd throw in a semi
humorous distraction. It should have been
on Karen's laugh track. I take comfort in
the fact that some others on GIC are about
my age, & know what I'm talking about.
Lou

 

!10 degrees this morn! Can't wait for that warmUp!

 

WE do it for our kids and lost spouses... Be Strong (it is very hard!)

 

6 am and 10 degrees! I remember rotary dial phones and landlines... I miss those daze!

 

Lol!! it made people smile, that’s a plus!

 

That makes me feel better, George, as
your older brother, that you remember
those phones. It was a different world,
with pay phones in telephone booths,
phone books, typewriters, record players,
etc. Please stop me before I REALLY
feel ancient! Linda & I watched the HBO
series, Mad Men, which took place in the
late 50s & early 60s, partly for the
nostalgia of seeing these things again. Lou

 

I recall landline and rotary phones Lou. I bet a lot on here remember them. I have an old rotary phone somewhere in my basement. A friend of mine had a phone with no dial, had to talk to the operator.
I have the rain starting here. Not too bad. Calling for very little snow but lots of rain. Should get to you soon if not already.

 

Its definitely going to take baby steps to get through and you can do it. You've done great getting out taking walks. The fresh air definitely helps. Your kids are your motivation to get through each day so thats where your strength will continue to come from. My kids are definitely what have kept me going. There are some days if I'm off I don't want to move then I think about those two little beautiful beings and push forward. Staying busy with them actually gives me something to look forward too. We're glad you’re here too cause we'll all get through it together.

 

I remember those phones too. My grandfather had one. We used it on many occasions. Thinking about them actually brought back some good memories.

 

Good morning, Lou. And hopefully the rain will let up soon over there. It has been fluctuating here between cooler and warmer days, and it's actually going to be in the 70's today and most of this week.And bc I woke up twice during the night... and I was so exhausted by the time I went to bed last night, I slept in a little later this morning. And hopefully you had a peaceful and restful night's sleep. And I know what you mean by the time difference, as I always think about what time it is in Texas and Maine before I call my brother and sister, and it is a little frustrating to me as well, having to wait for a reply. And that also is true of texting, as sometimes the person you are texting sometimes doesn't reply back right away. And I feel like the good thing about growing up with a landline phone is that you were able to have an immediate response. And it made me laugh for a moment when I read that you had a rotary dial phone, not even a push button one, as I am familiar with those phones bc my family had them. And I agree that it should have been on Karen's laugh track. And I'm so glad that you take comfort in the fact that some others on GIC are about your age and know what you are talking about. And I'm hoping you will have a peaceful day and you will continue to enjoy your time that you have with your friends. And know that I will be thinking of you and always want you to have the best days possible.
Take care always,
Debra

 

Oh, it is extremely hard to be strong!! And I try to every single day!! And I am so grateful that I found this site, as there are very kind and very empathetic people here that "get it" and they understand how extremely hard that it is...
Take care always
Debra

 

”We miss them all the time. We know in our heads that they have passed on. The only difference is that we are getting used to the pain in our hearts. It’s like discovering a great hole in the ground. To begin with, you forget it’s there and keep falling in. After a while, it’s still there, but you learn to walk round it.”
I forget who quoted this, but I try to remember this because I know that it will NEVER be the same again and I will always have this hole in my heart, but as time goes by, maybe I too will learn to walk around it and not completely fall in to let it consume me with such devastating grief. Perhaps I'll get to the point of remembering with love, peace, comfort, knowing I will always love him and he will continue to know that wherever he is now. Sending hugs and wishes for better moments and moments of joy and happiness, Rita

 

Thank you so very much for your support as well as your kindness and encouragement. And having walks and going out with my kids does help, and definitely my kids are motivation to get through each day. And like you, there are days that I don't want to move, but I push forward, bc I know that my kids need me to be here for them, and so I keep that in mind. And thank you also for saying that you're glad I'm here, and that we will all get through it together. And I can't thank all of you enough for reaching out to me... and you will be in my thoughts.
Take care always
Debra