Just looking for someone to talk with

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Sheila Allen, Apr 19, 2019.

  1. Sheila Allen

    Sheila Allen New Member

    July of 2016 my entire world was changed when my middle son was diagnosed with bone cancer. I began to focus on being the primary caregiver for my son while still trying to spend time with my other two children. The following year in July 2017 my father was diagnosed with bone cancer and I helped my mother and siblings take care of my father while still watching my son fight his own beast. In January of 2018 my father lost his battle with cancer and my cousin become another member of my family to be diagnosed with cancer. In July of 2018 my son lost his battle with cancer and passed away and in January of 2019 my cousin lost her battle and passed away. I am coming here to share my story because I'm having trouble moving forward especially from the passing of my son. I have looked for grief support groups locally and I can't find any and I am not sure who I can turn to for private counseling due to being a counselor myself and having everyone know me so they can't treat me. I know the steps to take and the right words to tell others but I'm not sure what to do for myself. I guess I'm just looking for others to talk with.
  2. KJ-Kathy

    KJ-Kathy Active Member

    Sheila, I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my 28 year old son to what appears to be an accidental overdose. He has had a very hard struggle the last year and it hurt so bad to watch an absolutely wonderful young man lose his battle. He went to rehab, was working IOP program and going to meetings everyday. We found him when he was late getting up for work. The outpouring of love for my son has been somewhat comforting to hear do many people who loved him and knew the wonderful person he was. I keep thinking if I would have done this or that it would be different. The hurt us do deep. I too just want others that can talk and understand my immense pain and loss. Kathy
    Sheila Allen likes this.
  3. Sheila Allen

    Sheila Allen New Member

    I feel for you're loss and wish I could take your pain away. I understand what you mean about others making you feel better when they talk about your son I live hearing people talk about my son and dad but no one understands how much I miss my child and that I will forever be missing a piece of my heart. Thank you so much for your response.
  4. KJ-Kathy

    KJ-Kathy Active Member

    Reach out anytime. I have a wonderful therapist that has helped me a lot over the past year. My loss is still so new that I can’t see happy in my future yet. My husband, daughter and I went to see a movie today after church service and my mind just kept wandering. I hope to connect locally to a grief group for support as well.
  5. middlechild

    middlechild Member

    it would be outrageous if being a counsellor cut you off from accessing the same kind of help you provide to the rest of the world. i really hope you can find something, and what occurs to me is: do you belong to a professional association or an accrediting body or anything of that kind? if so then perhaps you could reach out to them. this is the kind of thing that you pay your dues for.

    it's also the kind of thing they might be able to help with. reason for that is, if some sort of professional rules makes it impossible for your local peers to take you as a client, then the body that makes that rule sure ought to have thought about how to prevent it from cutting you off.

    i have done a lot of calling local 'distress' hotlines in the past year. it's not always to talk to them. sometimes it was because there was something i needed but i didn't have a clue where to find it or even where i could start. they were helpful, and it sure sounds to me like you justifiably give them a call. i'm assuming you're in the U.S. so i took the liberty of doing a google search which gave me this site: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

    here are two of the numbers from their first page. I'm thinking maybe the second one could be useful?

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or Live Online Chat
    If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.

    SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline, 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727)
    Get general information on mental health and locate treatment services in your area. Speak to a live person, Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EST.
  6. KS Rose

    KS Rose New Member

    I too would like to visit with some others that have watched a child fight the beast of bone cancer. We lost our 24 yr old daughter to sarcoma in her pelvis. It was awful to watch. I have a wonderful church family and God has carried us but it is still very painful and I want to know others story! Maybe because I want to tell mine. I want to tell about my daughter so she lives on! I have four other wonderful children, but that doesn't replace the hole our family is feeling. I wish each one that reads this, courage in this journey. I read one mother's blog called thelifeididntchoose. I know there are others out there that are carrying the same pain of child loss! Hugs