July 4th Blues...

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by DEB321, Jun 28, 2021.

  1. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    One of my husband's favorite holidays was July 4th. He enjoyed being the "chef" at cookouts, spending time near the ocean or in a pool, and finally watching the fireworks. I've been dreading this holiday for over a week. While I don't want to be around lots of people, and I doubt I would be able to watch the fireworks without needing a case of tissues, the alternative, isn't much better - Alone and lonely...

    I just had to "vent." It's been weighing heavy on my heart. Thanks for "listening."

    Wishing everyone peace...
  2. Mary0128

    Mary0128 Well-Known Member

    I was literally just thinking about the 4th coming up, and how much I miss Jeff. He too was the cook and the BBQ master. He loved having people enjoy his food. for me this is one of the saddest holidays. the last time Jeff was at our camp was on the 4th he left early not feeling well, 2 weeks later we got the diagnosis. I will be at the lake on the 4th this year, but it is not the same.
  3. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Mary and Deb,
    The holidays sure are hard on us. I know exactly how you’re feeling. But I have found for me at least that the worry and build up to that date, holiday etc is worse then the day itself. There’s usually tears involved but the torture I’ve put in my head doesn’t usually play out. I hope that’s how it goes for you. I’m dreading the 4th too, my husband cooked, we’d also either enjoy the pool or beach and we would all go to the fire works. It’s hard to even imagine doing any of that, you’re right it will never be the same, but we all usually push though and have the people who support us best at our side.
    Mary0128 likes this.
  4. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    We got my husband's diagnosis in 2016, right before Thanksgiving. He needed major surgery, but it had to be postponed until two days after Christmas. It was a high risk procedure. We knew there was a chance he wouldn't survive it. His doctors wanted a specific team of specialists to be involved in his care, but they had the holidays off. We spent Christmas in the ICU. This year, he was admitted to the hospital on Christmas Eve, and discharged to an acute rehab facility on New Year's Eve. Although I'm grateful he didn't pass away during these holidays, there will always be a dark cloud hanging over them. I can't take away any of your pain, but I understand how you feel. Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace.
  5. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Thank you RLC. It helps to know you understand. You're giving me hope, that July 4th won't be as horrible as I think it's going to be. I'm sorry you're dreading July 4th too, but I'm glad you'll be surrounded by people who support you. I hope this July 4th goes better than expected for all of us. Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us, peace...
    RLC likes this.
  6. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    You’re so right that it helps having others understand what we’re going through. Most people just can’t understand unless they’ve been through such a loss. That’s what makes this site work so well. It brings us all together to share our story and realize we’re really not alone. I didn’t find this site for quite some time and I felt so lost so alone and scared. People here gave me hope and that’s a wonderful thing and feeling.
    DEB321 and cjpines like this.
  7. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Its always good to vent. The 4th was one of my fiancees favorite holidays too. We all dress in red white and blue. I can picture him in his flag shorts. Wed go see fireworks the day before.. My first 4th without him was hard. I was emotional b4 that day and couldn't figure out why til I stopped to think that it was coming up. I hope you surround yourself with family and keep busy. Praying for your strength.
    DEB321 likes this.
  8. Returning joy

    Returning joy Member

  9. Returning joy

    Returning joy Member

    The 4th was always special for us..funnel cake booth at the fireworks display..my husband lived these events. This will be the first 4th without him. The 1st are so hard..thank you to those that share there is a path forward..of course we will always grieve our loss, miss them. But joy through the sadness will return, I have to believe that