I just can't accept that my husband of 40 years is really gone. There are so many things I would have done differently if I had really believed he was going to pass away, but as they say - Denial is not just a river in Egypt and I was deep in denial. He had been sick for a long time on and off and was always "passing away" but never did. Then suddenly he did, and I didn't even say I love you to him right before that happened. I am plagued by regrets and guilt, and I miss him horribly.