I still can't say the words

It's been 7 years now since my brother OD and I still can't say those words out loud. I'm amazed that I can even type it. When I see the words on paper, when I read about it from others, I panic. He was only using for a year or two and I feel the stigma. I feel the shame of explaining my loss. I feel the panic of seeing words, not being able to hear other people say certain words, not being able to look at syringes. I panic when I get blood draws and even when people touch my arms, I get freaked out. I know it didn't happen to my body, but... i don't know, it's just too real.
I can't tell people what happened. I can only explain that I can't go into details but that he struggled with addiction. I don't know if this is normal?
I think about it a lot though