I never knew you....

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Purple_Lavender, Aug 14, 2020.


What was your first reaction to your first pregnancy?

  1. I'm Not Sure....

    1 vote(s)
  2. Really?!

    1 vote(s)
  3. I cried...

    0 vote(s)
  1. I've been in a relationship for three months. I was on my way to the doctors office for a much needed check-up. Doctors came in and asked if I was suspected that I was pregnant. I laughed thinking it was a joke. I had also gone in after bleeding longer than usual. Doctor announced I was most likely pregnant and having a miscarriage. I'll be honest I was more upset than excited because the timing was terrible and I was under the impression that I was being careful. Doctors were concerned it was a tubal pregnancy since they didn't see the baby in the ultra sound. I was scared not knowing what to do since most of my family didn't want to help thinking I was incapable of raising a new born. A few days passed and I made the decision to want to care for the baby if the pregnancy was successful. I was running around town trying to make emergency appointments in case of either outcome. By Wednesday the miscarriage was confirmed and I had lost hope and sadness over took me after I put my hopes too high in raising a newborn baby

    Many said miscarriages were common for a first pregnancy but I realized I had feelings for my unborn baby and I hope she is in haven playing with my best friend and her grandparents.
  2. HopesMommy81020

    HopesMommy81020 New Member

    You are NOT alone. I understand how you feel and I know all the highs and lows and ups and downs and asking all the what if’s. You can’t do that to yourself though. I had to finally look at it like no matter how many times I ask or all the questions that get answered, there is no way to change the present. I felt I needed to respond to you without a doubt when I read, “I had lost Hope....”. I capitalize Hope because I recently (August 11th) lost my Hope.... it is still so fresh in my memory and so so hard to process and accept. I won’t go into all the details since I know you are grieving and I don’t want to cause any more sadness to an already sad and confusing time. I want you to know that you can reach out to me if you ever just need to have someone to listen and hold space for you and not judge or be unkind. I know how it feels to be alone. So udderly alone as I had no one there with me at the hospital except my 13 yr old and they too have been traumatized. I will start writing my story because I know it will show ppl and especially women that no matter what life throws at you (just a general you, not you specifically ) there is always a reason to get up and keep fighting, keep moving forward. I had to find some peace to my sudden loss of Hope in knowing that my story and Hopes life and also my other kids can help others. And I am truly sorry for your loss. Be strong, love yourself, and like you kinda mentioned make sure you’re healthy. I didn’t have any health insurance and I know if I had things would have been different. I have to see the positive in all the negatives or the world would have broken me long ago. Just know that your little angel isn’t alone, and is always with you. To give you Hope. I Hope that you can find some comfort in my words and knowing that you aren’t alone. Also don’t be afraid to reach out to others or to seek out the support that you need because that is where you will find what you need. In others who have experienced loss and grief and even healing. Unless someone has experience, they can’t even begin to comprehend and I know I have received a bunch of negativity from ppl whom I thought would be here for me in my time of desperate need, unfortunately that’s not the case and I have found such comfort and compassion in strangers and the nurses at the hospital, all the staff I had interactions with actually, and my doctors, And my kids school as well, so know that it’s ok to ask for help whenever you feel comfortable. I myself am not shy or embarrassed or afraid to do so anymore. I wish I had been stronger and not lost myself to sadness in the months prior.