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I miss her so much

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by csmith532, Nov 16, 2021.

  1. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    I truly don't know... I moved out of our house. I think that's good. I just live day-by-day.
     
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  2. 1guy

    1guy Well-Known Member

    Thank you, I feel for you so much too. Wish I could help us all, Sheila's last year wasn't real great either but she kept up a better attitude than me. The nurses loved her smile and spirit. I don't see how I can ever get over this, it seems like my whole life is over, but I want to try for our daughter, but I can't find much will. I just feel like I'm made of wood. I know she doesn't want me like this and I apologize every night. I try to think of things going on right now, doesn't work very often. Take my sleeping pill around 11, helps a little at bedtime, anti-depressant in the am, start a grief class next week. Praying for you and everyone on this site.
     
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  3. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Yes yes and more yes! Valerie was so strong and positive until she couldn't talk anymore . Freaked me out! I too feel like woods! Your whole life is not over. But I feel like mine is too in a way. Can't do that for her sake and my son. I am so lonely . This site really helps me stay connected. Much peace and calm my friend!
     
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  4. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    George, although you feel unbelievably
    sad & lonely at times, you know you have
    to keep going for the sake of your son.His
    mother died, which was trauma enough.
    If something were to happen to you, it
    would be devastating for him. Tom Zuba
    knew he had to raise his 2 remaining sons
    after the deaths of their mother & 2
    siblings. I agree with you about this site.
    I check it first thing in the morning, bc I'm
    an early bird and I'm glad to see you! Then,
    later, I love to see Robin, Gary, and Karen.
    It varies. Deb has something going on right
    now, and can't be on as much. Neither can
    Stacey. Bernadine joins us later. And, of
    course, Patti does when she can. Lou
     
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  5. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for understanding me,
    Bernadine. I went to sleep early, woke up
    around midnight, my time, & checked in
    with GIC. I've missed you, and I'm glad to
    seeyou here. I was doing OK with guilt
    until recently, when almost everyone is
    in the joyous Christmas spirit. It's important to remember the almost word,
    bc some people are very alone, either
    single, divorced, or widowed, like us. Lou
     
  6. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Karen, for saying that about me. Went to sleep early ( that's one way I
    cope) and checked in with GIC, after
    midnight, and was pleasantly pleased to see George, Bernadine, and you here. All of you bring me such comfort in this lonely
    time for us. I can answer you and go back
    to a hopefully peaceful sleep. You have such an understanding and empathy for a
    person's individual needs. You would make
    a great psychotherapist. Lou
     
  7. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Yes, of course.
    I check in a couple of times a day here, not always able read & participate deeply, some days it’s hard.
    I see you all, I’m with you all. ~B
     
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  8. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    George, sometimes GIC is the highlight of
    MY day, bc the people here are always here
    for me, and they "get it".So glad tonight was a little better for you. I cherish moments like that. Lou
     
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  9. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Bernadine these are some of Cheryl’s flowers I can identify; Columbine, bleeding hearts, irises, mums, Heath Asters, day lilies, four different rosebushes, Rhododendrums, and ??? Bernadine I’m going off grid today. I will have minimal contact with TGW for three days. At Kenn’s ceremony tomorrow I hope you are met by much kindness, love, and understanding. Gary
     
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  10. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Gary, thank you for telling us you'll be
    off the grid. Very considerate of you. Hope
    you read Karen's comment, of why you &
    I differ. Lou
     
  11. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Hey, I don't have much to say except I'm here and I have another day to get through. "Do it Again" time.
     
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  12. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Well, George, I guess our brother, Gary,
    will be "off the grid" for 3 days, so it's up
    to us to bring a widower's perspective.
    I miss Deb, Stacy, & Patti, but I know there
    are good reasons why they have to take a
    break. I continue to try to shake things up.
    Went to a breakfast spot that I hadn't been
    since the summer. It was great to be
    greeted by the couple who own it. Lou
     
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  13. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Checking in on this site is one of the few remaining things I want to do. I'm in a real blank spot right now. just so un-into anything. Guess I'm just bored now that we moved and all. Will go out today. That will be good. gonna take in three boxes of CeeDeez to the used record store. Still need to get rid of stuff. It never ends. At least it is something to do. Looks COLD out there again. Blech!
     
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  14. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    George, it's only natural that you're
    having a calm ( & boredom) after the
    storm. Felt same way when I had to
    move 4 months after Linda died. There
    was a "now what ?"feeling without my
    soulmate. I had the benefit of moving in
    late March, with spring ahead. Sadly,
    you have the cold winter ahead, which
    sucks, & requires more indoor activities.
    Lou
     
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  15. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Yes! Totally... It is what it Is and I just need to be mindful and get through each day. Thanks L!
     
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  16. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    The trick is to take one day at a time
    ( which is one of the phrases of AA).
    For example, it's sunny, high 40s today
    Everyone is smiling. Big drop in temp
    tomorrow, possible snow in afternoon. I
    don't want to let that stop me, & want to
    walk to a local cafe at lunchtime, & see a
    pianist. Hope you have a few mild days! L
     
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  17. eyepilot13

    eyepilot13 Well-Known Member

    Went out to fuel up car and got rid of 3 boxes of CDs from the Apt. Stuff I haven't listened to in years. TB was pretty depressed. Got Chinese food dinner. Too much ordering this week but it has been a frazzling week indeed. It's cold and unpleasant here under metal looking skies!
     
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  18. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    That's great that you got rid of the CDs,
    George. I did the same, bc it depressed me
    to look at them. I like to play different music on my phone. Not surprised you're
    doing take out, after the big move. I've been buying Amy's gluten free frozen
    Mexican dinners, but on a very cold,
    upcoming Sat night, I will bake chicken
    thighs, with frozen stove top veggies. It's
    the easiest meal I can make. As you know,
    I like to go out for a big breakfast. Lou
     
  19. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    It sounds like Cheryl has created a lovely garden, Gary
    Be well while you are away. Thank you.
    ~B
     
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  20. 1guy

    1guy Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way, for her sake and my daughter. Thank you for the good thoughts. I'm looking for peace the best I can.
     
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