I miss her so much

Hey Gary! I so get it about "blurs"! When things are blurring you don't think as much. Hope your Michigan trip goes well and the weather stays mild. I dread the coming of "real" winter. The story about the dude and the song is so relatable to me. Sad but sweet.

 

Gary, thanks for getting back to me this am.
I liked it when you said " I'm glad Robin &
our younger brother George were there
for you". I email George first bc he wakes
up earlier than you. I must admit that I
can be oversensitive, and wondered why
the hell you didn't reach out to your older
brother, Lou. I was reluctant to bare my
soul to the 2 "potential" brothers, Rick,
my age, and Chad, 38, both from Texas.
I've been burned two many times when I
tried to welcome new members, who
would do a drive by, and move on. I took a
chance, and gave a SHORT background of
my name & age., Linda's name, and the
part of the U.S. in which I live. Good luck
with Michigan trip, Gary. Hope to hear
from you soon. Lou

 

George, Thank you so much for really understanding the difficulties that come with using a cane. Most people don’t realize if you’re using a cane you only have one hand for things. Before I needed a cane I went in the PO every day to pick up our business mail. Then as my joints and RA got worse Ron went in. He wouldn’t let me. Now it’s just me so I don’t have an option. Thankfully my house mail is delivered. I still have the business mail box because both ronsctruck and my car are in the business name. I don’t know how to change it to my name and the DMV is by appointment only. But I don’t know what I need. I need to go though. But thank you SO much. It was a big thing and I was in panic mode. I put the box in a bag so I could carry it with one hand. Put my credit card in my pocket and thankfully I made it in. When
I got back in the car I cried, relief it was over. I felt proud of myself but seriously don’t want to do that again.
I’m glad that since your move you walk more often. I find it to be what helps me the most. And yeah, sometimes doing nothing what we feel like. But that makes thing worse. We need to push ourselves sometimes. Sitting still for 4 hours during dialysis sounds very hard. Looking at it like a job makes sense. You need it so you deal. I get it. And that’s why you’re an inspiration to us all. Have a long list of things to do and I move slow so I need start on that list. Take care, have a good day. Get fresh air. I will too!
❤️

 

Robin, Linda had a cane, then a walker.
Looking back, I remember being impatient
but, thank God, never said anything. I think if anything ever happened to my
legs, I would get a motorized wheelchair,
bc I would want to be outside in nature,
in my case, by the ocean. You are amazing
in your courage, and in what you're able
to do. Lou

 

I also have a daughter who is saving me, and who knows my grief as she is grieving too. But, it's not the same for her as for me losing 39 years of my life to the only one I have ever loved. Yes, we must try for our daughter's sake.

 

George, I don't know if you are on the site, "Center for Loss" daily reflection, but today is especially heart filled for me and got me crying with emotion.
I felt the spirit in today's quote, big time and the closeness of Jack came rushing through me, may it bring you closer and closer to Valerie. Bless you, Karen

 

Sorry I’m late to congratulate you Robin but good job making the trip to the post office. I had a knee replacement three years ago and I know what it’s like to lose mobility. Our post office in Corunna is the size of a two car garage with simple minded friendly people. The PO in Mom’s neighborhood in Ft Wayne was very stressful with people getting angry at each other in their small parking lot. Lou I had a LMSO(laugh my sad off) when I felt your brow furrowed by not responding quickly enough. I was as concerned as our younger brother George with your absence Monday. I got a Christmas card from Cheryl’s sister(neutral non evil). she hopes my life is back to normal by now. REALLY?!!! I’m not putting much pressure on myself today getting ready. Lately I’ve been able to slow the brain waves down enough to do some self hypnosis. For the last seven months I was wondering if I would ever be able to that again. Gary

 

It's on Dec 15th reflection.

 

Karen, I cried at today's quotation , too.
I'm not ready to meet Linda's spirit just
yet. All I can do, is to be kind to others in
my town, and sometimes quote some Linda's funny sayings to loving couples,
both locals &strangers.Linda would love
the fact that these couples, who didn't knoe
her, would be laughing. Lou

 

Gary, I could never have as much of a
"furrowed brow"with you, or any GW,
the way I do with frantic, loud, speed
talking ( sorry, mostly women), like I
just did, in the cozy Bean & Leaf Cafe. I
could barely hear myself think, while
trying to write to you. BTW, "back to
normal, my ass!!" Lou

 

I need to check that site out. I want to stay close to Valerie.

 

I could just picture Valerie struggling to go to the PO or anywhere. When we'd go to the grocery store she somehow managed it. It is very cool that you could do that yourself. We are superhuman when we need to be I think.

 

Well Lou, for some reason I'm laughing when you mentioned members who would do a drive by, and move on. I wonder if you can copy and paste your long background, or shorten it as you mentioned.

 

knoe?

 

I think you’re right. Strength comes from somewhere. I can walk when I have a shopping cart. And once I’m up and walking I can walk. With a limp but I can. That’s how I lost my cane. Left it by mistake in a shopping cart. I don’t usually take it in stores. I park by carts. But I was able to walk and walked away from my cart, got in my car and drove away. Remembered within 10 minutes. Went back and it was gone. The cane I didn’t want but realized Ron was right I needed it. He picked it out and bought it for me. Made the loss worse. I hate that I’m slow and hate people watching me struggle. I look perfectly healthy. My joints don’t work.

 

Karen, you caught my typo, wise ass!
( I used to call Linda that, so don't take
offense). Lou

 

Yes, I admit these people pissed me off.
They were like annoying woodpeckers,
did their noise, & flew off. You & Gary
are more patient than I am. I may be
retired, but I don't want to waste my
time. I hope the 2 of you are right, and
I'm wrong about new members. Lou

 

Valerie would say "smart donkey" LOL

 

"Smart donkey" is more polite, George!
I can see that both you and Valerie liked
to kid each other, like Linda and I did.
Sometimes, I miss that as much as our
hugs. Lou

 

Yes totally... I am so out-of-it today. Not into anything except GIC