I miss her so much

Beautiful teacup Chad. The native Americans believe the butterflies carry our prayers to the Creator. Welcome home Deb. Our tribe is stronger now having our den mother return home. Lou I can tell you’re gradually improving by the positivity in your posts. Robin I agree about the dark cloudy foggy days. I hope you are moving about your home ok. When I was standing up I would stretch as I began to walk. Not good regarding my balance. Now I stand up stretch then walk when the gray matter kicks in. I would much prefer colder temperatures with sun than this. Younger brother George looks like we’re going to get the weather you are experiencing soon. Have you checked out exercise bike prices? They should start dropping soon. I don’t like watching tv and can only listen to the radio for short periods. Have you ever thought of getting a police/fire scanner? I seem to listen to that more. I do listen to CDs so I can control my environment. I’m not a Barry Manilow fan but I’m thinking of the song “looks like we made it” into 2022.K sera sera whatever will be will be. the futures not ours to see. K sera sera. May TGW trudge the road of happy destiny arm in arm united with hope into the new year. Gary

 

I could and start using the exerbike at the fitness center. Just too winter blah and saving energy to keep car dug out. Still no snow here yet. I am pretty active with walking too. I play that computer game CIV a lot so that's my get-0away to some extent.

 

Bernadine,

I'm so sorry... My foggy widow brain took over last night!!! I hope you know I'm always thinking about you, as well as all TGW, including everyone in my daily prayers... It's nice, for lack of a better word, to "see" you again. Honestly, as much as I love all of you, I wish we NEVER had to meet!!!, TU!!!

I totally "get" it, as you said, how "all of grief feels exhausting..." It SUCKS!!! Here I go again... stuck on the word SUCKS., but it says it all in one short word. So... praying that life won't SUCK as much as it does now for all of us, as we bravely venture into the new year without the one true loves of our lives, here beside us.

Backing up a bit, I love Kenn's New Year's Eve tradition. It must have been so difficult for you last night, not being able to hear Kenn playing Auld Lang Syne at exactly midnight... Hugs... It SUCKS!!!

Have so much catching up to do. So going to stop here. I'm over the top sad today, and if I don't stop myself now, this could turn into the longest message (book, as Lou and I refer to those times when I can't seem to stop "talking").

Stay warm... Hope Mr. Grief gives you a break today.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

George,

Sorry about that "snowPocalypse" Mother Nature is sending your way... It's a warm sort of sunny, sort of overcast day here. If I could, you know I would send you a great BIG box of sunshine... Backing up just a bit, the last time I had the absolute best caramel and praline ice cream, was over the border, one city away from me, with Bob, when he could still walk short distances, before COVID hit. (A run on, but not one of my longest ones.) We got it from an old fashioned candy store where they make candy and ice cream on the premises. It was love at first spoonful...

As I said to Bernadine awhile ago, stay warm..... I hope Mr. Grief gives you a break today, all of TGW a break, even if it's only a short one. This JUST sucks!!! Wait, before I go, just had the best thought... Imagine all of TGW walking towards that gate in Mr. Grief's twisted amusement park, and having him open it, letting us all escape... A BIG GIC celebration as we stepped into freedom. Better stop here, this could be a long one. However, daydreaming can be a very good thing!!!, TU!!!

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Chad,

Great minds think alike... like Gary, I love!!! your teacup. Makes me think of bright, beautiful, sunny... summer days.... I'm glad that drinking out of Lizzy's favorite tea cup made you feel a bit better. Sort of like getting a warm hug from Lizzie, well maybe not exactly, but I believe although Lizzy isn't here with you physically, she'll always be watching over you, just as I believe Bob is always watching over me.

Sort of on, sort of off topic, Bob gave me a watch for Christmas one year (long!!! story behind it, but I think I "talked" about it here awhile ago) that as soon as he saw it in a jewelry shop window, it screamed "DEB" to him. I wore it every day until he died. After he died, I don't remember exactly how long it was, but one day I wanted to put it on. Since then, I've been putting it on as soon as I get up and dressed in the mornings. Instead of making me feel over the top sad, it makes me feel like he is still with me... more of a comforting, happy and sad feeling all at once.

Chamomile tea is one of my beverages of choice at night. I'm not a fan of honey either, but I like Celestial Seasonings Honey Vanilla Chamomile Tea. This was my beverage of choice last night while sitting on my couch, wrapped in my super soft bereavement blanket, with a box of tissues, watching that flickering flame on my candle... in total silence...

I haven't had problems with my internet service lately, but it's now back to super S L O W mo mode. Super frustrating because I want to "talk" to some more of us, but it might have to wait until either I find a way to inject my chrome book with a hit of caffeine, or my internet service improves.

I hope Mr. Grief gives you a break today... I hope Mr. Grief gives all of TGW a break today...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Gary,

It's good to be back, missed all of you, but as I said earlier today, my chrome book hit slo mo mode again, so it's taking me way too l o n g!!! to type one word, sentences are a PITA!!!, TU!!! I wish I knew a way to inject my chrome book with a hit of caffeine. Once again, great minds think alike, lol!!! I was thinking sort of the same thing you just said. I was daydreaming that all of TGW were walking toward the gate in Mr. Grief's twisted amusement park, and he unlocked it, letting us all escape. After the last one of us was safely outside of this way beyond twisted amusement park, we had the BIGGEST!!!, TU!!! celebration ever!!! My new favorite saying of the day, day dreaming can be a great thing!!!, TU!!!

Stopping here, my internet service SUCKS!!! It was in super slow mo mode, the entire time I was "talking" to Chad, and now has picked up the pace a bit. Better take advantage of it while I can.

Hope Mr Grief gives all of us a much needed break today. (Don't know why, but this reminds me of that old McDonald's commercial that said "you deserve a break today." I HATE!!! McDonalds!!!, TU!!!. I didn't even like it as a kid, not even the fries, so have no idea why this suddenly popped into my head. I might need to step outside, it's warm here, get some fresh air to clear my head.)

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Don't you just love these images from before times before death and Kovid... I remember what life was like. I prefered it to now. But now is what we got so we gotta deal with it. And be strong for our spouses memory and our own self respect. Sounds so easy but it is not and Sux bigTime!

 

Looks like I maybe losing that heat. Its 75 right but will be 25 in the morning. That's a Texas winter for ya.

-Chad

 

McDonalds sucks big time!

 

George,

It all SUCKS!!!, BIG TIME!!! Sending lots of extra hugs and love your way... Misery loves company, so sad..., but so true. We CAN and WILL get through this together!!! because we are TGW!!! I'm over the top sad today, it SUCKS!!! I can't stop saying SUCKS!!! today. It just sums up life so perfectly in one short, neat package. So sorry... I wish I had something more upbeat to say, but today, all I want to do is be a couch potato...

Stay warm!!!

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Patti,

It's so good to "see" you!!! As I've been saying today, I wish none of us were in this position, that we NEVER had to meet!!! I can't wrap my mind around the fact that it's now 2022 and that Bob isn't here... Praying that all of us have a better year too...

It's warm in my part of the state, hope it's warm where you are too, that you're able to get some walks in. I know a walk would really help me today, but can't seem to motivate myself to get off the couch. Grieving is over the top exhausting both emotionally and physically!!!, TU!!!

As always, sending you and Jaycee lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Me too about that couch potato-ie stuff you bet. i'm so in. I'm best at that at times like this as I await the inevitable snow! Blech! Love you!

 

I remember when Valerie was this young party freak girl! I remember her dying! It sucks a lot!

 

Deb, I agree with you & George, about
McDonald's. Many families still go there,
bc the prices of burgers, fries, and large
COKES, are low. But, the parents don't
factor in how unhealthy a meal it is. No
accident why American children, and
their clueless parents, are morbidly
obese, leading to all kinds of health
problems. The other chains, like Burger
King, are just as bad. The frozen fish
patties and salads are a joke. Lou

 

Robin,

So glad you're healthy!!!, TU!!! Praying all of us make it through the winter with as few colds, etc, as possible. I'm sorry your daughter's best friend and her daughter (? this foggy widow brain is in full force today) tested positive for COVID, but it's good to hear that they're both feeling better after only a couple of days. COVID just SUCKS!!! It seems endless... Better get off my soapbox before I even get started!!!

I'm glad that you had a quiet, relaxing day and evening... Perfect, especially after having to go through another holiday season without Ron being physically here with you. These are the kind of days I used to take for granted, but and this is one of those really BIG BUTS!!!, I will NEVER!!! take for granted again!!! I can't imagine looking forward to the holidays ever again. I'm clinging on to what you say so often, that it gets better with time, less tears, more smiles... I have to!!! Today is one of those days that Mr. Grief refuses to lessen his grip on me.

Stay warm... I wish I could send you, everyone, a giant box filled with sunshine and warmth... I feel guilty for not being motivated enough to go for a walk today, especially when so many of us are stuck inside because of cold, miserable, wet weather. I'm just way too emotionally and physically drained. Mr. Grief has been my constant companion since I dropped my son off at the airport yesterday.

My chrome book hit slo mo mode again, too frustrating to "talk," so stopping here.

As always, sending you and Teddy lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

How are you today, 2022 New Year. I have a lemon tree on my deck loaded I wish I could give you some to squeeze in your hot drink. It was 28 last night and I'm surprised this tree doesn't frost over. It went through the snow, rain and cold. Keep Upright, K Well, better said, "Keep Down" rest.

 

George,

I like your creative touch on Sux...

 

I hate "fast food" processed crap!

 

yes I'm Kool to da Deb! Yay for me!

 

Hi Deb, great BIG HUG to you, I pray this year
will get better in so very many ways for all of us.
I watched the Rose Parade from Pasadena. First
in many, many years. Brought back memories
some happy, some sad. The B2 Stealth flyover
brought me to tears, one project Jack worked on,
he was so proud of all projects, he loved his job.
While our children were young we took them
to view floats 4 times, our daughters high school
marching band was honored by being in parade
one year ( those happy events).
As you and others are aware, I’m going thru a serious
health issue. Was confronted with three biopsies
last Thursday, and then told need surgery next
week again. When my dear Jack was well, and thru
his illness, having him with me helped to keep
me a strong lady, I knew then and know now
“GOD IS ALWAYS MY STRENGTH”.
Deb, I’m keeping you and everyone in my daily
prayers,
Another Great Big Hug to you and
all other TGW friends,
Blessings, Patti