I lost my first child one day after birth.

August 5th 2021 late morning I was rushed into an emergency c-section. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my babies neck twice and had a knot. He was under stress and immediately rushed to Stanford. It’s hard to even put it in to words how traumatic what happened was. I am absolutely terrified and broken. This is the most pain I have ever felt in my life. I did not get to hold or see my baby. I was able to briefly see and touch him as they transferred him to the other hospital. I feel absolutely helpless. I was not able to go see him until they transferred me which feels like torture and took forever. I was given hope he would survive and tortured for which felt like weeks until I was told the truth. Our baby died in our arms. I’m traumatized. I have a lot of healing to do. I find myself praying to whatever gods exist to live again.