I lost my boyfriend to fentanyl 9 days before I gave birth to our first child.

I'm new here so I am not quite sure what to expect but I am just going to try and explain things as much as I can. On March 3, 2021 my boyfriend Scott relapsed and overdosed. On March 12 (his birthday) I gave birth to our little girl Ava. The grieving and healing process is already up and down but with losing life and gaining life at the same time, i just feel crazy but more of a numbness. Things are a little more hurtful lately bc I have people in my ear about moving on and how I'll find someone and I'll find someone for Ava ... I understand people are just trying to help but that does not help me. I feel so alone. People never understood our relationship to begin with and now it's as if people find it easier to act like he didnt exist. There is so much more but I figured I'd just give a summary and go from there.. I just feel so alone. He was best friend..my person.

 

I think people acting like someone didn't exist (in other words, never mentioning them again) is very common. People are unsure of what to say, so most times they just ignore your situation as if it is over for you-because for them it is over and they just can't understand how difficult and complicated a journey grief is If they haven't experienced grief they cannot understand that a person's love for someone does not die when they do. You are in the early stages of grief and can't expect yourself to 'move on'. Just do what you can do each day and try to ignore the comments of those who don't understand.

 

I lost my husband to fentanyl in April. Shortly after my daughter's 1st birthday and I have a son that is 4. You grieve in your own time and your own way. This journey is not easy and it's not the way we thought it would end up. But this is our reality and our rules. Wish nothing but the best for you and your little girl.