I lost 2 of my kids within a month

I feel so lost and alone my 2kids 38/39 yrs old died because of COVID. My son was staying with. After I lost my husband 3 yrs ago. So now for the first time I am alone. I can't sleep at night in this empty house. Someday I am okay other days worse then when this night are began. Mother's day was so hard I just wanted to die myself. If I could will myself to death, I totally wood.
The best things in my life have been ripped out of arms and y heart. Ho does one keep going on,when there is nothing left to keep going on for?
Idk where to go from here, what to do with myself when all I can do is cry and miss them. I can't figure out why God has to be so greedy and take them both from me. Sounds a little selfish and not so loving if you ask me, and I was told he was a loving God! I was told wrong I do believe. At least I am not feeling any of that love he so has. I just want my world to cease turning. Because there isnt any more joy in this one

 

I’m so sorry

 

I am so sorry.

 

Jamiesue,

I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I am so very sorry.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. Im praying for your strength for each passing day.

 

As I have just experienced, the sudden loss of my mother, I can only imagine how painful this must be for you. God is still a loving God. I pray for peace and strength for the days ahead. I am sending you big hugs.

 

Hi, Jamiesue--I'm really so sorry about all your losses....that is just so terribly hard!! My "best people" are also gone, plus I have
thyroid disease that doesn't respond well anymore to the medicines, so it makes it hard for me to do a lot. I'm the only one left from my immediate family.
And I also struggle with why God allows all this to happen. I've been in a grief support group called "GriefShare," and it's church-based,
They say that God has plans that we can't understand, and if you're still here, there is a purpose for it. We may not understand what it is right
now, but there's some reason for it. I try to remember this, because it IS hard to go through all this stuff, just as I know it is for you.

GriefShare groups are all over the place...there website is griefshare.org, I think. You type in your zip code and it'll show if there's some
group near you....a few are still online, I think (which is what I did, more than once.). The people in my group were really kind, and all
the leaders have been through major loss, themselves. It's 13 weeks--it's free, except for the workbook, which I think is $20.00. I still
read the workbook a lot, because it has a lot of things in there to remember to try to help me get through this. The book has a whole
chapter about being mad at God and questioning him--and that it's OK, and that's it's normal to do this. And other chapters on
"Why?" did this happen, and "Guilt & Anger." Maybe you will meet some nice people around you who understand & you can talk to...
Just an idea.....my heart goes out to you and everyone suffering on this site.

 

I can't begin to understand what you're going through, but I do understand so many losses. Losing both sons after husband. Im so sorry and pray for your comfort I was really angry with God, felt completely ripped off. Where do I go from here? But it got easier to process, I figure he can handle my anger and knows what to do. My life is so different and every loss accentuated my husband not being here and that even increased my anger towards life in general . Yet somehow I knew my husband was with me. However he doesnt come around when I'm angry. Crazy, maybe, but its how I feel . Whether or not they're here we still have a relationship with them. At least that's the only choice for me