I know there’s no wrong way to grieve but…

Gary, I'm happy to report that Karyn Arnold returned my email a little while
ago. She said she was trying to discover
any technical problems, and couldn't


find any. She asked for a "screenshot" to
show her technical team. I had told her a
number of members had trouble last night,
when I had emailed her around 7pm. Also,
Karen & I didn't receive our daily quote
from Center for Loss. Did you? I told
Karyn that things seemed to be fine for
me this morning. Hope that's true for
everyone else. Lou

 

Karen, How you spent your first holiday which was Thanksgiving is so similar to my first. Thanksgiving was only five days after Ron passed, we hadn’t had the funeral yet. We had one visitation the funeral was the day after Thanksgiving. I had already bought all the food, everyone came over and made the dinner. Still to this day I picture Ron pulling out 20 lb turkey out of the freezer at the store snd holding it up and stating this is the one! We’ll have a wonderful feast. Well I suppose it was a feast but it was far from wonderful. It was a cry fest, but like your family my family let me talk and cry and ramble and held me. Our families were there for us. I always said and still say part of me went with Ron we were as one. Like you saying 1/2 of you went with him.
This year I’m hosting, very small get together, my daughter, and my brother and his wife. I told them to wear comfy clothes and bring their slippers. Keep it simple. These 3 have been my support throughout. So it feels right. My son too but he’s in Florida, however he is visiting starting the 29th.
Your story took me back and decided to share with you. This Thanksgiving will be rough too but we are TGW. We’ll get through. Wishing each of peace. And I know it’s hard but something to be Thankful for. Top of my list is GIC and TGW! Robin

 

Lou, I signed up with Center for Loss, I’ve never received the daily quote. I tried signing up again and it said I was already signed up. Not in my spam box either. This site is semi working for me today. Of coarse it is. I’m cooking and baking today. Used to be my most favorite thing to do. Bake and cook. But I haven’t done much. My heart isn’t in it. Wish me luck! Robin

 

To quote my Bro... "Good morning to everyone" A big day yesterday. Had my churchy grief group. They are so nice and kind just like my friends here. It is good to have some direct positive interactions. They gave me and TB T-Giving dinner in Styrofoam clamshells. It was so sweet that they couldn't have me and my son be without the traditional fixin's for this biggest holiday feast of the year. Then I went to the crowded grocery store for "supplies". Michellina 10 for 10 dollar frozen dinners. Yousee the kitchen is already packed up. Packed up clothes yesterday getting ready for the big move on Monday. I kept finding little shiny red hearts. Each heart means to me that Valerie issending me a message that she loves me. She used to sing a little song ..." and the red hearts mean I love you!" The little shiny hearts make TB so mad! He doesn't get the message behind them....

 

Robin, I wish you luck today. Karyn
Arnold returned my email this am ,
around 7:30. I had emailed her last night
around 7pm, that many of us were not
able to get on GIC. She spent the morning
to find the problems, but couldn't
find any.She asked me once again to send
her a screenshot of my specific issue, &
she would show it to her tech team. I
wondered if the Internet was slower, bc
of a high volume of users, pre
Thanksgiving!! Also, Karen & I didn't get
our daily quotations, via email. from
Center for Loss yesterday. Unlike you,
Karen, Deb, Gary, & I had no problem
receiving them before.Try to email
Center for Loss again. Anyway, I thanked
Karyn, & told her I seemed to be fine
today, and wished her a Happy
Thanksgiving!! I wish you one, too. Lou

 

It’s good to hear my Little Brother(George) so positive and upbeat this morning. I just came inside from raking leaves because it is too windy now. I have been signed up on the Center for Loss and Life Transition for almost a week and have never received the morning quote. I agree that the net is bogged down. Gary

 

Hey Gary! At least I don't have to rake any more leaves...

 

thank you Lou, it’s been a hectic and emotional few days for me. So many things going wrong. But my brother came through and helped me find someone to come repair my furnace today with no extra emergency fee. I have heat! I think I’m getting more alerts. But this one I’m replying to I found by chance. No email alert and nothing in my account. Just stumbled upon it while taking a rest from preparing for tomorrow. I’m in pain so I have to take a break. Only a very small gathering tomorrow, and they won’t judge me on anything. My daughter, my brother his wife, Teddy and Slinky. My daughters puppy. The people I can count on. And my other brother has been in touch and picking my daughter and I up to go in. Few Christmas stores, possibly get trees. Then lunch. And even happier I have not heard from my sister. That’s a blessing right there.
It sure who to email about not getting the daily quotations. I tried a couple of times.
Not sure how much I’ll be on here today.
Wishing everyone a peaceful Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for all my GIC friends and you guys right here TGW!
❤️ Robin

 

Robin,

I know that feeling all too well... sadly, when it rains, it always seems to pour. I smiled when I read that your brother helped you find someone to repair your furnace today... I think it's a sign of much better days ahead... I hope taking a break from preparing for Thanksgiving helped, and you're now feeling much better. It makes me happy to know that for the next two days, you're going to be surrounded by family, those you feel the most comfortable with, and can always count on. I know this would make Ron very happy.

I've been struggling the last couple of days, a total emotional train wreck, unable to put my thoughts into words,"writer's block," (thank you George), to the max!!!, TU!!! Just a few minutes ago, as I was going through some of my jewelry, I found one of the first gifts Bob bought for me, a gold chain necklace with a very pretty heart shaped pendant. I can't stop crying... I remember the day he gave it to me as if it just happened yesterday. I thought about wearing it tomorrow, but, I just can't do it, memories are way too bittersweet... I'm going to try as hard as I can to make Bob happy tomorrow too. It's the best way I can think of to honor his memory.

Wishing everyone the best Thanksgiving possible, however you choose to celebrate it. I hope everyone is able to LMSO at least once tomorrow, that after tomorrow, everyone will have at least one special memory to cherish from this Thanksgiving...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Deb, Yes that is how it seems to happen. And I certainly felt it this week. But things thankfully turned around. I pray I can get some sleep tonight. It’s been a long time since I got real sleep.
I’m so sorry finding that special piece of jewelry was so heart wrenching. But I get it. My new way and for a while now to honor Ron is by wearing earrings with his birthstone. I find that easier then wearing a piece of jewelry he has bought for me and carries so many memories. It’s gotten a little easier to wear things he gave me as gifts but I can always wear my amethyst earrings I purchased with Ron in mind.
I’ve had writers block too. I understand what you’re feeling. Foggy fuzzy brain. This too shall pass. And have ups and downs.
My younger brother, who helped me today. We’ve always been very close. But early on he wasn’t as supportive as I expected. But today he was so helpful. And that’s who Ron told years ago if something should happen to him he knew I could count on my younger brother. Lately I haven’t been sure about it. But he came through today. He’s here when it really counts. Bob wants you to be ok. He doesn’t want you suffering. None of our spouses do. And that’s why we push forward.
I do believe well all come through tomorrow better then expected. Better then the horrible things our minds conjure up. Emotional and sad, of coarse. But also some good times.
Back to preparing for tomorrow.
Wish everyone time with family and friends if that’s what feels right or a peaceful day at home. Just spend Thanksgiving how you feel comfortable. ❤️ Robin

 

Gary

Gary, Karen & I didn't receive the Center
for Loss quotes yesterday or today ( but
we did before). I have been getting book
offers from the founder, Dr. Wolfelt, so
maybe we'll be back in motion Friday.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving! Lou

 

George I got a LMSO when I read your dig about not having to rake leaves any more. I’ve taken a couple healthy doses of grief today missing Cheryl more because of Thanksgiving. Also the tribute to Cheryl will be December 11 in the Allen County Public library. That is triggering more memories about how Cheryl lead the charge to stop a toxic waste burning plant from being built in her community. Robin I hope your thanksgiving goes well for you. I’m sure it will. and like you said we will enjoy ourselves more and all the things we worried about won’t happen anyway. Deb good to see you your post. Please read the chapter “you are stronger than you think” on permission to mourn. I thought about you when I read that last night. Hope everybody gets a good nights sleep. Gary

 

Thank you Robin. This year will be the same, except me and my daughter will do the cooking and my sister is doing the dessert. It will be my sister/her husband and my daughter. Yes, they will try to cheer me up again. But, when I do get teary they just sit and feel so bad for me and don't know what to say and that's fine with me. I don't need anyone to say anything, they don't "get it". For some reason this year is worse than last year, I'm really feeling Jack's loss. I think last year I was in shock not believing he won't come back.
Your Thanksgiving sounds like mine, just four of you, simple and comfortable. I also have a son who lives in Nevada and I usually see him and his wife and two children at Easter time.
Top of the list, yes--GIC and TGW. When I think about being thankful on my list is my daughter/son and my small family who really loves me. I get cranky and feel bad, then I don't feel bad around family. It's not their fault it's just Mr. Grief keeping me negative and cranky.
So, on that note, I'm wishing you and your family a very nice Thanksgiving and lot's of hugs to go around. Karen

 

Gary and George, I'm hoping this Thanksgiving you will find something to be thankful and grateful for where ever you may be. Karen

 

We’re planning Kenn’s service. Yep, it’s been 3 weeks. Yep, it’s not until the 18th. Holidays apparently need to be considered
This sucks. I miss him.
Tears were frequent today.

However, someone asked about thank you cards and I thought I would share that we found memorial postcards that can be printed with a photo and message, we’re doing that in lieu of little hand out things since it’s at his niece’s home and what’s left will be used to mail out to family who couldn’t attend.
For thank you cards might that be an option? Preprinted, personalized, a keepsake memory but practical for the sender- all you do is address it and toss it in the mail.

Kenn wanted us to include this, it was always his favorite and seems so perfect now. I thought I’d share it here. It’s A Walking Song, Frodo’s version from Lord of the Rings

“Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the moon and East of the sun”

 

Karen, please try to visit TGW tomorrow
night, cranky or not, and we can compare
notes, as I told Deb. I'm about to go to
sleep, so I won't be "The Crab", like my
Zodiac sign. Feel free to tease me, Karen.
I can take it! Lou

 

Thank you so much for your beautiful
passage, Bernadine. You are a real asset to
our community, and a true Grief Warrior,
Hope you will connect with us tomorrow
night. So glad the tech problems seem to
be over right now, so we can all talk to
each other again. About to sleep. Hope
you have pleasant dreams, and a good
day tomorrow, in spite of your sadness. L

 

Okay, you need to make more funny typos. I'll try to get on line tomorrow but my sister and husband are spending the night so who knows what we will be doing.

 

Well. Karen. I can give you something
better than typos: some of the nicknames
Linda called me. When I would worry too
much ( like I just did, when I thought I'd
been thrown off GIC), Linda called me an
"insecure weenie". I'll think of other ones.
We liked to kid each other all the time,
like you & Jack did. It kept the marriage
interesting & fun. Linda didn't want me to
walk around with a "furrowed brow". Lou

 

Lou, you never quite get logged off, do you? lol