I know there’s no wrong way to grieve but…

Thanks, Bernadine. 1338 attachment
can be seen, but the print is very small &
hard to see, unlike all of your previous
attachments. Lou

 

Sorry, never mind, it's fine, Bernadine!
Wonderful quote about breathing, in
grief. Thank you. Lou

 

Danielle, I hope it will pass.

 

Lou. it's very large on my desk top computer, maybe it's because of a cell phone?

 

Karen, everything is OK. I was impatient!
Lou

 

Just this moment.
This moment, when all seems too much, breathe, it will pass.

Sure, there will be the next moment, there will be tomorrow.
And tomorrow is unknown, but if course familiar.

In the unbearable now moment, breathe.

 

Bernadine, as I just said to Debra and
Gary, it was wonderful to wake up at my
usual 6am, and see the 3 of you on here.
I've been trying to stick with a 10pm
bedtime and 6am wake up time, for my
circadian rhythm. As you pointed out
recently, sleep is very important, especially
for those of us who are grieving. Thanks
once again for your inspiring quotes and
your interpretations of them. Lou

 

Blessed Beltane
It’s our day, our anniversary
And
In 2 hours it will be 12:12am
It’s been 6 months
Half a year & a special day he’s missed living with me

Listening to a soundtrack we made… Louis Armstrong, Enya, Jimmy Durante, Simon & Garfunkel…..
~B

 

Bernadine, I cried this morning when I
read your list of singers, on a soundtrack
you and Kenn made together. Linda &I
liked every one of these timeless great
singers. When Jimmy Durante sang,
"Smile....", we teared up. It took me at least
a year before I could listen to ANY
songs ( like many of TGW). As you may
have read, I decided to be brave one
morning , over coffee, and played a
blues song I liked before I met Linda.
It's one of my favorites, bc of its' beat and
sassy nature: Hootchie Cootchie Man,
by Muddy Waters. I even found myself
dancing ( ! ) to it, before I went out the
door. One sunny morning, I played
Louis Armstrong's " It's a Wonderful
World" and it made me smile. Right after
Linda died, that song made me weep. I
think Linda & I would have loved you &
Kenn, and would have wanted to see
him play his horn. Lou

 

Bernadine,

Sending you the biggest virtual hug... I love how you chose to remember Kenn on this over the top sad day... What a beautiful soundtrack... I need a tissue...

Sending you and Maggie lots more hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

I started to clean out the back bedroom.
One wall holds the things belonging to Kenn that I couldn’t manage last autumn.
Placed behind a door I could close.
Remnants of the end-of-life; a bedside table, socks, books, cellphone, meds, tubing…..
I can’t seem to figure out how to approach that wall.
The door is closed again, waiting for another day.
Tears.
~B

 

Dear Bernadine, sending you a big hug,
love and prayers.Patti

 

Bernadine, So brave of you to try. It’s just not time. The way I personally look at it. It’s not hurting anyone. It can wait until another day. I don’t have things like that, Ron wasn’t sick and taken from me so fast. My issues are everything he used or touched that day. I do understand even though my loss is different I get it. I’m so sorry. But you’re brave for trying. Sending you hugs and lots of love. Robin

 

B, I know how you feel. It's heartbreaking looking at our husbands things. This weekend I had a garage sale mostly to get rid of all Jack's tools and machines. His workbench was loaded. Seeing all his tools disappear made me very sad. That workbench was so him. I told him I'm sorry honey, but I have to let all your tools go now.
There always is another day and another to wait. I don't know if we're ever ready to open that door.

 

I meant Dreary not Danielle.

 

Karen, I hope Rita is okay. She hasn't been
on GIC for a while. Her user name was
"Dreary", and she always had great sayings, on grief, for us. I also miss Debra
from your state. She may be on summer
vacation with her daughters. Lou

 

Maybe they will see your post. Since school is out Debra may be busy with her girls. I think they were to go on a vacation.

 

Hello all, or should I say warriors, like you appropriately say we are. Lately I seem to have gone into what seems like a regression, I just feel I can't cope, I'm absolutely overwhelmed with sadness, feeling so lost, abandoned, it's just too much to handle, my mind can't take all this jungle of emotions I'm going through. Why am I feeling worse now than in the first year? Perhaps, because now I'm starting to see the 'reality' of what's happened, my C is not going to come through that door at any moment, I'm never going to see him again. I miss him more and more each day, I want him back, can't live without him. I can't say all this to my kids as I don't want them to suffer even more, and I can't talk to anyone else, they wouldn't understand, so I'm writing here because I know you all understand and I feel I can say whatever is on my mind. I know that keeping all this inside and not letting it all out would make me feel even worse. Thank you for providing a comforting shoulder to cry on, take care everyone.
Rose

 

Rose, yes you are feeling the reality of what's happened. I'm on my 7th month from the first year and I too am starting to feel Jack's never coming home.
All we can do is try to find things that make us contented. Your wonderful kids, nature, walks anything you can find to separate your thoughts, even if it's only for moments. We all have relapses. It comes and goes and someday it will soften.
I just had a regression that lasted for weeks. I was worried wondering if I was having a breakdown. The depression was overwhelming. Every morning on awaking I would lay in bed and talk to God and Jack for help to get through my day. In time I started to come out of my deep depression. So, Rose it won't last forever. Keep sharing and you're right keeping feelings inside only makes it worse and it's not good for our health. Keep the faith, Karen