I know there’s no wrong way to grieve but…

Lou,

Love!!! your description... "a strange, sad club, but we need each other." It's perfect. GIC, TGW, have become a very important part of my life. I know I sound like a broken record, but I am SO!!! very grateful to have found GIC, to have made "friends" who not only "get" it, but are here to support me, support all of us, as we struggle daily in our fight to crush Mr. Grief.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Beradine,

Is it okay if I take a picture of this message? I would like to share it with my friend who became a widow two years ago. This is just so beautifully written!!!

As always, sending you and Maggie lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Deb, of course.
With the caveat that, as TGWs know, they can read right over and ignore the whole idea if it doesn’t resonate with them right now.

Maggie got her face down inside an old tire filled with rain water and mud today. She came up with a brown soggy mug. You might want to hold off on the hugs til she gets a bath, lol.
~B

 

Bernadine, this Maggie anecdote belongs
with the other one on Karen's laughter
thread. Thanks for the smile! You
paint a vivid picture! Lou

 

To everyone who is on Center for Loss Daily Reflection please read today's March 4th. I defines in words what grief feels like. It describes it in detail. I sent it to some of my family so they would understand what I'm going through. I do not have to explain or talk about it to them, his quote says it all.

If you can please read it. It captured my "REAL" feelings that I can't explain to others. Blessings always, Karen

 

Good morning, Karen
Would you, or someone, be able to put the url for that here?
You guys mention it from time to time but I’ve been unable to locate it.
Thank you!
~B

 

I'll try. When I sent it to my sister and brother-in-law they both said they get it and now know how I feel. If I can't url it I'll type it out.

 

Hi Lou, Gary, George, Deb, Bernadine, Karen, and all the others who have posted here and shared their grief, loss, heartbreak, despair and loneliness. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here for so many of us who need support at such a difficult time in our lives. I have found comfort in your words and been able to focus a bit less on my own suffering. I have been sad for so long that I really don't know how to be happy anymore. Dealing with my love's illness for over 2 years and watching his decline everyday has broken my heart and soul and I sometimes feel they will never mend again. I still have horrible visions of our last 3 days at the hospital where I still was his caretaker because hospitals are only hospitals and very seldom do you find true caring and support there. I thank the Lord every day for one wonderful nurse who just appeared on the last day and took charge. She made sure he was not in pain and able to rest. My husband passed away that night while sleeping. Although I was grateful that he didn't have to suffer anymore, I was in shock, drained, lost and deep in despair at the thought of being without him after 38 years together. I am grateful beyond words that my children are nearby. They know my grief and are grieving themselves. We talk, but sometimes I am unable to just let it all out. When I ran across GIC and started reading the stories and posts from the GTWs, I knew I could let my feelings out here and be totally understood. I know all of you have felt this and know how devastating these feelings are. Some of you are much further along in your grief process and I feel that one day I will feel less empty and lost without him, but for now I just struggle through the days praying that they will get better and the loss a bit less severe, although never gone. I will miss him every day of my life and he knows it (we always had a saying from very early in our relationship "Just you and me, kid!") and it really felt that way. We were always together, even at work. Luckily we were able to retire early and had time together. I try hard to remember and feel blessed for the wonderful times, but right now I am just overwhelmed with loss and emptiness without him. Thank you all for being here, although I too wish you didn't have to be. You have helped me so much just by sharing your losses and grief, I can cry for you as much as I cry for me. Loss is just so devastating for everyone. Even the laughter thread and brought me hope that I too can heal and find joy and laughter again. I am exhausted now and have cried all morning, but it has helped bring a strange calm to me. I will continue to post and hope to help others as you have helped me. God bless you all and bring you comfort and peace, hugs, Rita

 

B, I'm getting ready to post that Center for Loss reflection. I've been so busy with financial, computer stuff I'm bushed, tired and lonely.

 

This is to Bernadine and everyone who is on this post and is not on Center for Loss daily reflection. This reflection of March 4th has really helped me explain how I feel to people who don't "get it". It has helped my family "get it". As follows:

March 4
"Her grief was so big and wild it terrified her, like an evil beast that had erupted from under the floorboards". JK Rowling
Sometimes our own grief scares us. It can be violent, wracking, and loud. It can scream, wail, and keen. It can be erratic and out of control. Even among those of us who are normally quiet, buttoned-up people, our grief can now and then explode.
Let's think of it this way: Our grief is as big and powerful as our love was. When someone who made our life worth living is taken away from us, of course our grief goes crazy with rage and fear and despair! It's like a dragon guarding its treasure. Oh, the wrath when the treasure is stolen!
The next time our grief terrifies us, we can remember our dragons. Something precious has been stolen from them. They've been awoken. It's only normal and natural for them to roar in protest.

My grief is big and wild, when it needs to erupt it's okay to to let it erupt.

 

For some reason this reflection caught my eye and I hope it helps everyone here, Always blessing to all, Karen

 

This is so true - it is terrifying at times.

 

Oh, Yes. That’s a good one, Karen.
Cartographers used to write “beyond here be dragons” when they got to the edge of their known world.
That’s what this feels like. Somehow we got pushed off the edge of the map that was our lives.
We’ve stumbled into the Dragons.

 

Lou,

I agree, lol... Smiles are always a wonderful thing!!!, TUTTUAM!!!

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Bernadine,

Getting here a bit late, but thanks for the warning... Puppies... sort of like having a permanent two year old... Always so curious..., always into something... Way past adorable!!!, TUTTAM (except right at that moment when you have to clean up one of those super BIG!!! messes, lol...)

As always, sending you and Maggie lots of hugs (hoping it's safe today, lol...), wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

P.S. My friend loves your advice!!! She is like TGW, understands that she can take what she wants, leave the rest... Thank you so much for letting me share this with her. It will make a positive difference in her life and in my life too.

 

View attachment 1336

 

Bernadine, for some reason, your 1336
attachment could not be seen. It said
" ERROR : cannot be found". Will you tell
us what it said? Thanks. Lou

 

I don't know how, but maybe someone would. It won't copy and paste.