I don’t understand why my grief intensifies

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Ilene, Feb 21, 2020.

  1. Moon

    Moon Member

    Wendi, hello,
    I joined this group because I lost my mother Jan. 7th. Her death brought up the grief for my husband as well and latest partner who died 7 years ago. I don't think we ever stop missing out loved ones. It gets easier as time passes. We find a way to learn to live with it. It has been my case.
    I wish you all the strength you might need to go through this grief journey. You are not alone.
    Take care,
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  2. KLovinggood

    KLovinggood Member

    Hello daisygal13,
    What you said in your post is exactly how I feel about the loss of my husband Andy. He was my best friend we talked all through the day and everything revolved around me and him. Now there is only me. He was so funny and thoughtful and my biggest cheerleader. I looked after him and our dog Lola. I also helped my elderly parents. All of that is gone and I feel by myself. I didn't want to stay at our house so I am living with my dad. He is 86 and lost my mom of 64 years on 9/5. He seems to handle his grief better than I do. I am sorry for your loss but I get how you feel because I feel the same way.
    Chris M 2000 and Rose69 like this.
  3. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    May God strengthen and comfort you.
    Rose69 likes this.
  4. belllouise92

    belllouise92 New Member

    Even with all the pain in this its such a beautiful message - I feel like Ive experienced great loss and pain before all my friends because Ive been put here to show everyone else the way to survive grief. Ive been to hell and back but somehow kept myself afloat and I realise now how strong i truly am. I wouldnt wish the pain of loss on anyone but I know that each time a friend goes through it ill know how to get them through each stage because im living proof you can keep going. I dont think everyone has that capacity to survive through loss and still hold space for compassion for others. Sounds like you too are here as a guide. Doesnt make it any fairer or easier and im so sorry for your loss but hold faith in two things - 1) those we lose are better off than us as theyre at peace and not suffering and 2) youre particularly special and will make such a difference to so many others journeys. Youre still here in this chapter of your existence for a reason. Look at all the small things with extra appreciation for those who cant. You should be SO proud of yourself.
    Energy cant be created or destroyed - the energy of our loved ones is still here. Theres so much more to come!
    Sorry if this makes no sense, im typing through tears in a grief wave panic attack, I just felt like you expressed things i didnt have words to explain.
    Ceee likes this.
  5. MHenry

    MHenry Guest

    You made wonderful sense. I've thought often about why I was the first among the people I know to have lost my spouse. And in a strange way, I think that as well...I will know their grief one day and I will know how very important empathy and comfort are.
    Rose69 likes this.
  6. JudyU

    JudyU New Member

    Empathy and comfort are important. People think I should be over the grief of my senior husband one year later. I'm still grieving and haven't found my.new normal or a new life. It's very lonely!
    Rose69 likes this.