I lost my boyfriend of 4 years 3 days ago, everything is just confusing right now. I'm still waiting for a text or call from him telling me it was all a prank or something that he's still here but nothing yet. I don't know how I'm ever going to overcome this phase of my life without him holding me telling me it's okay. I don't think I'll ever have the strength to anyways. I lost him to leukemia and he struggled in his last moments, I was there holding his hand and I still didn't want to believe it when they said he's gone. I'm just so tired and drained, wishing I was the one instead of him. He's too good of a person to go like this. I can't even imagine what his mum is going through.