Thankz Deb!!! I appreciate the heartfelt message. Today I was able (after waking up in my usual befuddled Desolation at around 7) to journal (as usual) and I think I discovered I might be stronger again. I just want to go along with the flow but maybe I took a partial glide down the steep precipice I'm balanced on. TB(The Boy) and I were in foul most moods yesterday stressing about the House and the packing and selling of it. Seeing Valerie's things out of the kitchen cabinets ready for disposition was very sad. TB goes "don't expect any Sympathy from me!" and I say I don't expect any from you. Yet he cries out in the night needing comfort. Such is the role of a parent no matter how adult the kid is in years. I have determined to keep trying to act positive no matter what... Thatz from reading "Healing Grief/Finding Peace" which I got at the library with the JS book. I realize the negativity really drags me down. What to do when THE ONLY person still in your life has been taught to be negative and persists in the righteousness of this behavior. I realize I have a choice in behavior and I can avoid the negative as much as possible. Like not watching media. I have so much going thru my brain it hurtz. I appreciate you listening. I hope we can keep on talking! Much love!!!!