A life riddled with grief loss and heartache. Is there a limit to how much one heart can hold? Ever since I was a little girl my life has been riddled with tragic unexpected losses. Life keeps going, yet someone we are expected to get up go to school/work, and pretend like our whole worlds hasn’t just been shattered in every single way. Loss after loss, seeing the bodies of those I love, lifeless, cold. No child, no person should ever have to see that, to experience that. The PTSD of the flashing images of those you love most, young - with so much life yet to live, lifeless. What is this life? Some place we go just to experience grief, loss, and heartache. Grief is one of the most untalked about experiences. Most of the suffering we see in society I believe is due to suppressed/unprocessed grief. My grief has been since I was a young girl, now into adulthood, I could feel myself starting to slip, knowing I could not handle yet another tragic loss. Yet, it happened. It happened again. Yesterday morning. I don’t know if this life is worth it. Sometimes I ask why them and not me? I don’t know how to move forward. I was already at my limit, and now the limit has been surpassed.
I can't imagine how much pain you have carried. I recently lost my best friend my beautiful mama. I was her caregiver for over 12 years. It has left me empty , broken and in a suspended state of detached sensory overwhelming shock. I can feel your brokenness in your deep words. You are not alone. I'm glad you found this safe space to share.
You and your mama share an eternal bond. You are what any mom would be lucky to have as a daughter. Your kind spirit, and gentle nature radiate through your words. The emptiness you feel is shared. One moment shock, the next hysteria, the next rage, the next calling for them into the ethers over and over. Some call it a wave, others call it a tsunami. Our love is eternal. We share this grief dear StarRunner22.
Samantha, I am so terribly sorry for yout loss of your beloved mom. Thanks for rationalizing and describing in a sequence all the feelings we may go through when we suddenly loose our mom and our best friend. I came to this website hoping to make a sense of all these feelings overwhelming me. You are right this is pure forever love. Be strong, my dear! Let's both try to, because that is what our moms would tell us to be. But it' so hard!
