How do I live with the Grief of losing so many people in a short period of time?

Hi,

I am struggling daily with my the loss of my family members. I lost my great grandmother, my grandfather, grandmother, and two of my pets all within a 2.5 year period. I was living across the country (in Canada) but moved back to my grandparents home to take care of them a few years ago. This was after my great grandmother passed from cancer. My grandfather was also fighting cancer and I wanted to be near to help him and my grandmother to ease their stress. Shortly after moving back, my grandfather passed away. This left my grandmother and I together in the house (the house they built to raise my sibling and I in). Less than a year after my grandfather passed, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly. I was the only one in my entire family present who witnessed both die in front of me. I was the one who had to call everyone I cared about to tell them what happened and I listened to each one cry.

In between all the deaths of my family members, one dog passed from old age while the other was put down due to blood cancer.

I was left living in my grandparents house alone for a few years while their estate was being dealt with. All this happened between the age of 24 to 27. Last year I tried grief group virtually with a program my local hospice group put on. I did find it hard to relate to the others as they were roughly 30 years older than me. At times when I would try to express my emotions, I felt belittled by the elders telling me I don’t understand. It was kinda like my losses weren’t as significant because I was so young. So I just stopped going and I isolated myself. It’s difficult also because my grandparents helped raise me, so they played the parent and grandparent roles in my life.

It’s been a year since trying grief group. I reached out to the coordinators again and they told me there is a five month wait. They also couldn’t guarantee that there would be other people my age in the group. I feel lost as although I want to do one on one therapy, I also need to find a group of people who are in their 20s and 30s who have dealt with similar situations as me. I feel like I’ve aged 15 years since all this began.

My boyfriend and my friends know what I’m going through and they are there for me. They admit they don’t understand fully the pain I experience daily. I don’t know where to turn now to find a group. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Has anyone been able to find a grief group with their peers?