Mary the littlest things are very present and often are overwhelming. Once in awhile the littlest things are beneficial as well. I know you were a nurse and used all that you knew in your caretaking. Many are doing or have done the same. You were by profession and training better equipped to know what to do. You have commented that he knew you did your best. There is better and not better. Some of the better has come from the seemingly the littlest and somewhat random places. Last night was a music thing with a best friend. I got out of the house. The friend happens to be a 43-year veteran nurse now retired. On this site was a woman who I compared caretaking notes and experiences with. The details in the steps we took for our respective partners was a relief. To know how difficult it was. I share this with my sister. If we step back and see how much emotion and concern was in our effort. Another small and unexpected better has been The dog sitting and care of a five-pound Yorkie. Like our partner caretaking is the research. I now know so much about that dog and her breed-specific needs. Just walking the dog was out of the house. Meeting neighbors also dog people have been social. That dog is willful but also very loving and delightful. Our road back is long and uncertain. I wrote a friend today who is dealing with profound life changes. That was about some component parts concerning diet and exercise. As a type two diabetic those are essential things to learn about and master. Ongoing all the time. Better is out there. That recipe will vary a good deal. Concern for our selves and others is a part of that mix. I am amazed at the goodness I see in others. Here and so many places. Best to you, Mary.