Hello All

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Sparky1966, Mar 2, 2024.

  1. Sparky1966

    Sparky1966 Member

    Hello. I am a 58-year-old widower whose wife passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on 12/30/2023. Susan was a wonderful 59-year-old woman in excellent health. In December of last year she had foot surgery to remove a bunion that was making it impossible for her to walk. On the night of December 30, a blood clot from that surgery broke away causing her to suffer a pulmonary embolism and a heart attack. We had been married for 34 wonderful hears and together for 39 years. Needless to say, this is extremely devastating. We have two children 28 and 25, that are suffering as well. We are all going to counselling and group therapy, but there are times when I just need to speak with someone. The people in my group therapy are significantly older than I and I am the only one still working (and male). So while it is nice to talk to others face to face, it would be nice to be able to reach out to others for assistance outside of our group sessions.
    Since her passing, I think I have gone through just about every emotion. Still weekends are especially tough as I am alone in this house. Actually, my son still lives with me, but he is gone most of the weekend and I am currently looking after my 82y old mother. So while I am not necessarily physically alone, I often times feel emotionally alone. This truly sucks and I hope to have others in my age range that I can talk to... Thanks for anyone's help.
  2. MICHAEL2023

    MICHAEL2023 Well-Known Member

    My sincerest condolences at the sudden, unexpected death of your dear wife, Susan. My heart feels your pain. I lost my partner Edward about one year ago now. Your loss is still new, those are the hardest months. The devastation is like a fire that destroys our most precious things/people. And we lose a large part of ourselves as well. Be kind and patient with yourself, this will be a tough journey. I will pray that you have the strength, and self-revealing vulnerability to find some healing.

    Patti 67 likes this.
  3. Sparky1966

    Sparky1966 Member

    Thank you, Michael. Your kindness is most appreciated. I am also sorry for the loss of your partner. I am discovering through my various discussions with other that have gone through this is that the pain never goes away, it only lessens. I am currently just taking it day by day. Some days being better than others. I finally got around to cancelling her credit cards today. I did not think something so simple could be so difficult. After completing this I basically bawled my eyes out for an hour before I collected myself again. I am also trying to figure out what my purpose is now that half of me is gone. This is just awful.
    Patti 67 likes this.
  4. MICHAEL2023

    MICHAEL2023 Well-Known Member

    I know, it is awful... and there's no way around it, we have to go right through the middle of the mind-bending grief. Weekends are hardest for me as well. That's when we used to have time to plan the garden, run errands, fun stuff. Now my weekends are spent trying to find peace of mind and reconciling what has become of me and my life. Purpose, I'm still working on that as well. Looking for some type of volunteer work, but it can't be anything that's going to trigger my grief ptsd.

    One day at a time, brother. Peace to you and your family.

    ~ Michael
    Patti 67 and Sparky1966 like this.