Heavy Poem (beware)

George, did you see George Eliot quote
on Center for Loss today? It's the idea of
treating grief as a companion, rather than
constantly fighting Mr. Grief, which makes
us exhausted. I'm telling Robin, & other
GW about it, especially Karen, who
invented Mr. Grief. Lou

 

George, did you read Center for Loss
quote today, by George Eliot? Maybe we
are so tired , bc we fight "Mr. Grief" all
the time, which is self defeating. Since
grief for our spouses will be with us
forever, wouldn't it be better to think of
grief as a companion instead of an enemy?
Robin & Karen agreed ( even though
Karen invented "Mr. Grief"). Lou

 

That’s a mind boggling concept to have MG as a companion. In the “book radical” acceptance Tara Brack says see what ever it is you are fighting as an entity. in our case we would say Mr. grief pull up a chair. Tara says ask Mr. grief what is it you want for me? Followed by what is the worst thing that can happen to me because of MG? Then you’re supposed to do a guided meditation. Wow. I think that might be the last deer I butcher. It’s an All day job. Sleep well my Brothers. Gary

 

Gary, woke up in the night---briefly---and
checked GIC. You are a well read guy! Thank you, as always, for bringing your
insights to GIC. I liked your "pull up a
chair" comment. As you often say, it's
better for us to face our fears. After all,
nothing can compare to the trauma of
the deaths of our soulmates. Lou

 

Acceptance is truly one of my goals but in some ways the hardest.

 

Very true Lou... Did a lot yesterday and then there was the dialysis. That is such a great quote. Thank you. Feel so physically sore from dialysis and unpacking moving furniture and like stuff. Goes along with my goal of acceptance. Take care!

 

Morning, younger brother! Glad you
joined your brothers in our conversation
about a new way of dealing with grief.
That quotation made me rethink my
fistfighting with the imaginary "Mr. Grief"
on the bus. Instead of doing that, I'm
going to follow Gary's idea of taking a
deep breath. Then, I plan to enjoy the
moment, and look at things outside the
bus window. I wish for you less pain and
more relaxation today. I wish I could send
you to a spa. When I fell, cut one knee, &
tensed up the other one, I couldn't tie my
sneakers or use the stairs, without pain.
I went to a kind, young married PT at a
rehab center. Before we did the leg exercises, I talked with her privately about
Linda, and broke down, bc she always
came with me to any kind of appointments.
After her offer of kleenex for my tears, she
said kind words to put me at ease. After
a few sessions, and being more relaxed,
I was fine again. A friend suggested I get
a pedicure. At first, I laughed, and said
Linda would think it was funny for me to
see ANOTHER young woman ( even if
married) for female attention. When I
walked into the nail spa, I was greeted by
such a woman. When I put my feet in the
warm whirlpool, prior to the pedicure, it
was sheer heaven. and worth pampering
myself. I did cry a little AGAIN, and thanked the manicurist for being my
"therapist". We both laughed. Now, I look
forward to a pedicure every 6 weeks. Lou

 

Thanks for the great message my Bro... Some stretching and Tylenol and fruit juice. A piece of bread. listening to beautiful music (to me) and writing in journal. Looking for that space where I can transform into the phoenix I know is within me. Will go for my morning walk around the compound (exercise yard) My year of solitary continues in its sad beautiful way! The poetry of life and love beckons away from screens and memes and elecktronicks and pain! A party in my head today and be sublime!

 

Oh my God George you are one creative dude! I had a LMSO moment when I read your last quote. Peace Brothers. Gary

 

Thank you my brother and friend!

 

George, I agree with everything our
brother, Gary, said, as usual! I'm taking
care of myself today. It's cold, with a
white sky, and no sun, so I'm taking naps,
bc I was up in the night ( drank too much
hot herbal tea!). The naps are great. I feel
better, and look forward to going outside
tomorrow and Sunday. Glad you're able
to take better walks outside your new
place. Lou

 

The walks are awesome! Could actually walk to the grocery store! It is so peaceful here. I wish I could nap. At least I spent most of dialysis sleeping yesterday. that is rare indeed! Be kind to yourself! Take care of yourself! So important!

 

Thanks, George! Skipping Shack tonight.
Am going to a different place for lunch,
on Sun. There will be live Irish Session
music. I don't want to be caught in a rut.
So glad you have more variety of where
to walk. It will be even better after the
winter ( for both of us!). Lou

 

nice my man! Irish musick Rocks! Ruts suck. thatz why I moved to Lombard... Out of my comfort zone! I'm typing up a bunch of my poems from this Summer's notebook.

 

Winter sux!

 

In my drinking days, in my 20s & 30s, I
went to Irish pubs, and drank beer, along
with the musicians (!). Later, in my 40s,
Linda & I would still go to pubs & drink,
and listen to the music. After Linda died,
I went into a different Irish pub, and
when a singer sang a sad ballad, I cried
in my Guiness draft. Sunday, I will be
sober, and just enjoy the music. Lou

 

That's so cool. I'm not a drinker either so I get it! Valerie and I were quite the party couple until 1989!

 

Good thing all us brothers are health minded GW. Good you know when to get extra rest Lou. One of the nurses in my grief support group told us about the book “the body keeps score” in regards to taking care of ourselves. I did 40 minutes on the exercise bike. The thing that stands out about Irish pubs for me is seeing all the green vomit on the sidewalk and the parking lot after Saint Paddy‘s day. Be they were pounding down green beers. Gary

 

Gary, you gave me a LMSO tonight. I
recall drinking a mug of green beer--once,
and thought it was dumb. I've heard that
in Ireland, St. Patrick's Day is celebrated
more sensibly and serenely than here. I'm
proud of you about the exercise bike. Do you listen to music, or watch TV, while
doing it? Lou

 

Green Freakin' beer ! Thats so freaked up. just give me bottles of love juice!