Grief quotes of the day

On the Center for Loss web go down to the bottom of the page where it says, Sign up for e-mails. I think you should get the quotations there.

 

Thanks, , Karen. You. explained it better
than I could! Lou

 

Thank you Lou, Rita

 

Thank you Karen, Rita

 

"Some day you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such as sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing....."
"They say (I read somewhere) that no one ever dissappears, up in the atmosphere, stratosphere, whatever you call space - atoms infinitely minute, beyond conception of existence are up there forever, from the whole world from all time"
" The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on, when you are faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live throuhg it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking".

 

Rita, let us know if you got on Center for Loss. I really look forward to reading my daily reflections to start my day.

 

Karen, I have been all over trying since I first heard of it from you guys and can not find it. Perhaps I am looking at the wrong website?

 

“….the seconds keep ticking”
Yes.

 

I'm sure you are on the right web site, Center for Loss. If you can't find the e-mail sign up try contacting them in the contact section upper right or it may be somewhere else.

 

Oh my gosh, this quote really hit me. It made me cry. Karen

 

Rita, I read that the stronger our love
for a soulmate, the deeper & long lasting
grief 'til we are called "home" , as Tom
Zuba said. After 25 years of marriage,
and the last part being together 24/7, I
would expect no less. Lou

 

Lou, you hit the nail on the head or how that goes.

 

Thank you,Karen, as always. Lou

 

the “new normal” in practice
~B

 

Be careful, Bernadine! In Jonathan's
The Widower's Notebook, he recounts how
he sustained serious injuries bc he was so
distraught over the sudden death of his
wife, Joy, that he was reckless where he
walked, & didn't pay attention to his
surroundings. I'm not a runner, but I
was stupidly running across the street to
catch a bus. I made it on, out of breath, &
stomach hurting bc I had just eaten. It
would have been smarter & safer to
wait for the next one. My wife, Linda,
was the sensible one, who would've told
me that. Lou

 

.
The idea of managing life, the perils of living alone that this meme captured really struck me at the emotional level. What we learn to bravely tackle and feel like super heroes … for me it’s been going out alone, it’s awfully “peopley” out there and Kenn was my buffer for all things social. My 911 call would probably be to my therapist!

Fortunately I’ve been managing my own household for much of my life. I’ve rearranged the living room, including moving the piano twice since Maggie arrived to adjust to her need for safe space to roam. Installed two new garden beds etc. just in the last two months but I certainly wait to take on those tasks when I know my brain is fully engaged ‘cause grief can really screw with reasoning and reaction time. Interestingly, keeping up with Maggie has kept me up sharp too, although I’m not certain I would recommend it for everyone, lol.
~B

 

Rita, what worked for me was "fake it
'til you make it". One of the reasons I
went to a grief counselor, is that I
could talk about my anguish over
Linda's death, cry, curse, and not be
judged. After months had gone by, I was
able to talk with the therapist about my
everyday encounters with both friends &
strangers. I learned early on that except
for 2 widower friends, no one wanted to2


hang out with Mr. Gloom. I was gradually
able to smile, and even laugh, starting
with those 2 friends. Lou

 

My friend and I came up with “fine enough” (FE) which meant I wasn’t fine, but wasn’t in distress at the moment. That way she could check in with me and I didn’t have to hide my sad. She just sends “FE?”
~B