Grief quotes of the day

I know probably it's not appropriate to mention this in Mother's day, but I wrote as my memories are present plus I spend a lot of days not talking to anyone, hope you understand my loneliness. Helena

 

Helena, because our parents didn't share
our love for each other, when we got
married, bc they had miserable marriages
themselves, we did not go to their funerals,
& never regretted it. If I feel sad, it's bc
my parents soured as they got older, and
didn"t even like each other. Lou

 

I think it’s very appropriate Helena. If we can’t express our feelings here where can we express our feelings? 12 years ago I went to a shamanic practitioner. She performed a cleansing on me. Her name was Julie. Julie removed 3 attachments (evil spirits) from me with her shamic power. I did notice that I wasn’t as negative after the cleansing and I felt lighter. Mom’s family were southern baptists. Dad’s are from the north and didn’t have any religion. Dad’s side was distant cold and unloving. Mom’s were loving but very judgmental. Can’t we all just get along? I had an identity crisis growing up. My Granddaddy Lawson was the best person I ever knew. He was a farmer of oranges and celery in Florida. He would send me rattle snake rattles for Christmas and birthdays. Unfortunately Granddaddy died when I was in the fifth grade. About 7 years ago I was overwhelmed with a sadness I couldn’t control. I finally went to the doctor and went on antidepressants. After 2-3 years I weaned myself off with no trouble. Prostate cancer caused severe insomnia 3 years ago. I started taking antidepressants again. I had tried 5-6 different sleep meds and nothing worked. After surgery in 2020 I was a walking zombie for 1-2 years then started getting better. Enter Mr Grief. I didn’t know the meaning of being a zombie till then. I was taking the maximum dosage of 450 mg bupropion and was still overwhelmed with grief. I was on the verge of a break down and went to the doctor. The doctor let me pour my heart out and listened to me 10 minutes without saying a word. Then He told me what I was feeling was normal for losing a spouse. but if I was feeling this way a year from now he would address it. Grief is serious shit. Its fatal! I’m not trying to sway your decision but just sharing my experience. I’ve been at deer camp in Michigan 2 days and found a place on the highest hill on my property where I can get Internet. I came here to read becoming radiant by Tom Zuba. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of losing my beloved Cheerful Cheryl. I’m telling Cheryl how much I love her but I have to start trying to take care of myself and honor Cheryl at the same time. Cheryl wants what’s best for me just like I want for her. It’s a long road back to a since of normalcy. We are warriors though. We get knocked down but we never stop trying to heal. 2 barred owls are calling back and forth now. Or is that Cheryl? Gary

 

Gary, I think that was the most moving
post you ever wrote. Your grandfather
was a wonderfully kind man, and I wish
he had lived longer for you. As I told
Helena this am, my grandparents'
unconditional love for each other & for
me, was special. I am blessed that I knew
them. I loved them more than my own
parents. Even though they died when I
was in high school, I can picture their
kind smiles today. I told Linda that I
wished she could've met them. When
Linda died, I wept for all 3 of them. I
pray that our spirits will be together
some day. But. until that day comes,
I plan to live life to the fullest , the way
they wanted me to. You are a brave
prostate cancer survivor, Gary. That
cancer is every man's fear. When I
was rushed to the hospital in the
middle of the night, with an issue
regarding my prostate, I prayed to God
that I would live. Upon discharge, I
started seeing a urologist, who has
prescribed medications and has urged me
to take periodic PSA tests, which I have.
God Bless you, Gary, for being honest about your cancer. Life is precious. Lou

 

Thanks for listening Gary and sharing your feelings! I do pay attention to your correspondence, in fact made me think when you mentioned reading the Hospice manual that Grief could kill you. Every time I read and write here I feel much better, this is the place that I can express my feelings and most of the times when I have felt sad and down, there is always somebody that reads and answers.
I grew up in a non religious very strict family, I got married in my early twenties, moved and lived in various parts of the world, we visited five continents, I have so many memories, mostly good ones. My first months after I married I was missing my parents, call them from Overseas I spoke to my father and he told me you are welcome to come back, but ask yourself a question do you love Geoff? Since then I realized you have your family, your are married. Geoff was everything for me, we travel all over the world, we were friends!! that is what I miss the most.
I have read and listening to David Kessler that you can't grief alone, grieving is a long road to take. My problem is that I came to SC from Hawaii where I did have many good and compassionate friends, here I never made any friends, we isolated in the country. Now I'm grieving alone, my best friend is gone....I'm still here I have to think somehow about myself. My whole adult life I have been healthy, I don't take medications. During my childhood I suffered with tachycardias caused by an electrical problem, in my early thirties went to an Ashram where I learned to use the power of the brain to stop any psychological problems. For over thirty years I have managed to stop my electrical tachycardias. I do believe in the power of the brain BUT grieving is another experience that is very difficult to control. Meditation helps, I should start doing yoga perhaps will help diminish my sadness....Here is the place where I can express my sadness, my art or venting if I have a flat tire or my car battery is dead. Thanks to GIC I know my dear virtual warrior friends that we can support each other.
Gary please take care of yourself, As I can not hug you personally I'm sending you my love and peace. Helena

 

Helena, I do wish you, Patti, Deb could get
together in South Carolina, but I realize it's
a much larger state than Massachusetts.
Linda & I traveled the United States, and
wanted to go to Hawaii, but never got
there. I have to be grateful where we DID
go. I proposed to her in magical Bermuda,
and we were married in a small island
chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada.Not too
many people can say that...... Lou

 

Thanks for listening Gary and sharing your feelings! I do pay attention to your correspondence, in fact made me think when you mentioned reading the Hospice manual that Grief could kill you. Every time I read and write here I feel much better, this is the place that I can express my feelings and most of the times when I have felt sad and down, there is always somebody that reads and answers.
I grew up in a non religious very strict family, I got married in my early twenties, moved and lived in various parts of the world, we visited five continents, I have so many memories, mostly good ones. My first months after I married I was missing my parents, call them from Overseas I spoke to my father and he told me you are welcome to come back, but ask yourself a question do you love Geoff? Since then I realized you have your family, your are married. Geoff was everything for me, we travel all over the world, we were friends!! that is what I miss the most.
I have read and listening to David Kessler that you can't grief alone, grieving is a long road to take. My problem is that I came to SC from Hawaii where I did have many good and compassionate friends, here I never made any friends, we isolated in the country. Now I'm grieving alone, my best friend is gone....I'm still here I have to think somehow about myself. My whole adult life I have been healthy, I don't take medications. During my childhood I suffered with tachycardias caused by an electrical problem, in my early thirties went to an Ashram where I learned to use the power of the brain to stop any psychological problems. For over thirty years I have managed to stop my electrical tachycardias. I do believe in the power of the brain BUT grieving is another experience that is very difficult to control. Meditation helps, I should start doing yoga perhaps will help diminish my sadness....Here is the place where I can express my sadness, my art or venting if I have a flat tire or my car battery is dead. Thanks to GIC I know my dear virtual warrior friends that we can support each other.

I wish if some day we TGW can meet personally, who knows?

 

That

Helena, at the risk of being selfish, I
picture my brothers, Gary, George, Chad &
me, walking by the ocean, and showing you , Deb, Karen, and other long time
widow friends , the sights & people of my
town. My traveling days are over. Lou

 

Gary, long time. Not sure where I've been but . I wish my Dr. would of told me this level of grief was normal. The only ones that have told me that are on this site. It's been 6 months since my dear Sheila went to Heaven. It just goes on doesn't it? Anyway, I don't think anti-depressants work on grief, least not for me. Listened to Pastors on TV today, listen to Scars in Heaven by Counting Crowns every night, cry all the way thru it but feel better afterwards. Wishing us all Peace & Comfort. Rick

 

Lou, read one of your reply's from a while back that I won't talk to you. I'm sorry if you thought that, It's still hard for me to do things I guess. Please forgive me if you thought I dissed you in any way, after all we are the same age. Rick

 

HI RICK, I CHECK IN TO READ, WHEN I CAN.
I WAS HAPPY TO SEE YOUR POST.
HOW IS YOUR DOG “HONEY” DOING, SO
HAPPY YOU GOT HER. BEST THING I DID
GETTING MY LITTE JAYCEE.
WE ARE HAVING CHILLY WEATHER, VERY
WINDY, ALLERGIES BIG TIME.
KEEPING YOU AND ALL OTHERS IN MY PRAYERS.
BLESSINGS, PATTI
HI TO ALL TGW “FAMILY”.

 

RICJ, I CAME BACK TO “THANK YOU”
MENTIONING THE SONG
SCARS IN HEAVEN,BY COUNTING CROWNS
THANK YOU FOR SHARING, I FOUND
IT ON YOU TUBE. FELT BLESSED LISTENING
TO IT , BLESS YOU, PATTI

 

Dear Patty, Just a line to say you're always in my thoughts, you were the first friend to welcome me here!, since then GIC is my first place to stop and read all my friends posts. Thanks again an wishing you a good night sleep, sending you my love and peace. Helena

 

DEAR HELENA, I MISS CONVERSING,WITH YOU,
ALL OUR GW “FAMILY” BUT, LIFE DEALT ME A BLOW,
HOWEVER I’M CLAIMING IT WILL ONLY BE
TEMPORARY, IF GOD WILLS IT TO BE SO.
I COULDN’T SLEEP, POPPED IN , DELIGHTED TO
SEE RICK (HOPE HE STAYS) THE SUPPORT
FROM ONE ANOTHER GW “FAMILY” IS SO
NEEDED, FOLKS HERE FILLED WITH LOVE,
CARING, UNDERSTANDING, NEVER NEED
TO FEEL ONEI IS ALONE. NOR SHOILD ONE
EVER FEEL ALONE. KEEPING YOU AND
ALL OTHERS IN MY PRAYERS. SENDING YOU
LOVE, GREAT BIG HUG HELENA, KEEP WARM,
ITS MIGHTY WINDY UP HERE, CHILLY.
BLESSINGS, PATTI

 

Patti, I've missed you , as many other
GW, like Deb& Helena have. Just like
Helena said, you were one of the first
people to welcome & comfort me when I
joined GIC in July, of 2021. I told Helena
that I wish she, Deb. you , and any other
GW who live in South Carolina, could get
together, but I realize you live in a much
larger state than my state of Massachusetts. I'm so very sorry that
you've been dealt such a physical blow.
I know it's an effort for you to post, and
that you have to use capital letters. The
temperatures here are still unseasonably
cold. Many people are grumpy, bc we had
such a long, gray cold winter. On the
bright side, we have more sunshine,
clear blue skies. and the flowers, like
tulips ( my favorite) are blooming, and the
birds are singing. We hope that next
weekend will bring 60 degree temps
instead of the 40 degree, windy & cold
temps we've been having. As a recent
Center for Loss quotation said: "Hope
springs eternal"............. Lou

 

Bernadine,

It seems like ages since I've "talked" to you. As usual, not reading messages in the right order, so I'm hoping you're feeling at least a little better by now. All of this SUCKS!!!, TUTTAM!!! No matter how hard I tell myself sad anniversary dates, holidays, etc. etc., etc. are just one day, they still SUCK!!!

Thank you for sharing this page from Megan Devine's book, "It's OK That You're Not Okay." I took a picture of it, as a reminder that I'm not losing my mind because I still can't leave the doors to the guest bathroom and bedroom open. To repeat, we're not broken!!! We DON'T!!! need to be fixed!!! We are grieving... The END!!!

I hope Mother Nature is being kind to your corner of the world... bringing you a day of warmth and sunshine... But, and this is another one of those really BIG!!! BUTS!!!, however you and Maggie decide to spend it, I hope it's a good one...

As always, sending you and Maggie lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thanks, Bernadine. Beautiful, springlike
picture & sentiment. "Hope springs
eternal......". Lou

 

Bernadine,

LOVE!!! this... Just took a picture of this one too...

Sending you and Maggie lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Patti,

It's so good to "see" you this afternoon... "Seeing" you has me smiling..., but I wish you had much better news to share with us!!!, TUTTAM!!! As always, keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers...

Sending you and JayCee lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB