Grief quotes of the day

Karen my brain likes to keep it simple. After much consideration if I had to pick the book that helped me the most regarding spiritual direction I would read Sidhartha by Herman Heese. Gary

 

I liked it. Gary

 

Thank you, Gary. "Grief is like carrying a
stone in your pocket" is so true...Lou

 

I didn’t leave my in person grief support meeting last night with my usual warm and fuzzy feeling. Our facilitator is the greatest but we debated what the results of a long term healthy grief journey would be like. When I said it would be a mixture of happy and sad she told me I was selling myself short. I told her I
Intimately know several people that have completed over 3 years of their grief journey and that is a standard consensus. I quoted the 6th need of reconciliation for the mourner. We come to terms with grief. We come into agreement with it. We coexist with it. And I said this is as good as it gets. Utopia is no longer the destination. I could feel myself getting irritated and she said she didn’t want to discuss it any further. A new person who lost their spouse said they think more about how they are going to die rather than how to keep living. I told them I have the same feelings and another person confirmed the same. The facilitator discouraged that kind of talk. I told her we needed to start reading parts of the 6 needs of the mourner before the meeting and the daily grief reflection to help the new people gain more resources. There were good things that happened. A man I have became friends with told me he started working out at the YMCA. Another person who said they couldn’t express their grief left the room crying and returned later with a smile on their face. The Yin and Yang of grief. Truly a mixture of happy and sad. Thankfully I have a place to vent. Lou thanks for the tip about Zuba’s utube videos. I didn’t know that. Gary

 

Gary, thank you. Thank you so much. You are a very wise person. This can help others too. Thank you for the book.

 

You're welcome, Gary. I think you'd be a
much better facilitator and leader than
the one you have. You are open to new
ideas on grief, and have welcomed many
new members to GIC. I had started a
thread, Loss of Spouse, & got a "LIKE"
from NaSam, of Georgia, and replied to
her, but she hasn't answered yet. However,
Natasha (user name, Wolfdream) did
answer me twice, from her home in
Belgium. She started a thread: Gratitude
and Resources. I told Karen I'm sure
Natasha would like to hear from her &
other GW. Lou

 

https://speakinggrief.org/documentary
for us as grievers,
for our families & friends who we want to understand,
this is a valuable documentary recently put out about grief
It’s current and honest and so touching.
An ‘easy’ watch for someone new to grief and the people who want to support them…
We should keep this with the books we recommend.
~B

 

Bernadine, I watched this documentary
while drinking coffee. It hit me hard and
I cried all the way through it, more than
any book I've read, or other programs I've
seen. Instead of having one person drone
on, this featured people of different ages,
races ,relationships with their deceased
loved ones, and parts of the U.S. Linda
used to tease me, when she would see me
crying during a powerful scene in a movie.
She would jokingly say, " You hardhearted
thing!". Little did she know that I would
someday be crying for her, the most I've
ever cried in my life. Thank you,
Bernadine , for sharing this with our
group of Grief Warriors. Lou

 

Beautiful, Helena. Though a scientist,
Einstein saw the intricate beauty of the
universe, and believed in God. He also
suffered from tragedies in his life, and
knew the importance of grieving. Lou

 

I am in that stage I call it acceptance. I keep trying, I hope

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

I want to believe that acceptance will stop my sadness, sometimes my brain doesn't accept anything, but I also keep trying. One day at the time, that's our reality!

 

I’m so glad it was valuable, Lou.
I cried too. One of those times when you feel you’re not crazy, not alone, not broken.
I sent it to my friend who has been my biggest support.
Not only will it help her further understand but show her how precious her support is.
Remember I shared that on the way home from picking up Kenn’s ashes I drove through Starbucks?
I hadn’t been there in ages but it felt significant somehow.
Well, she remembered that and for my birthday gave me a Starbucks gift card, and keeps refilling it.
When Maggie and I are out for our drives we swing through for coffee and I have a knowing that someone remembers me, remembers Kenn. And now I’m crying again….. Bittersweet. ~Bernadine

 

Oh, good work, George.
Acceptance is a hard one.
You kinda have to admit how forever this is to get there.
At least that’s how it is for me.
Keep on keeping on.
~B

 

I understand that frustration, Gary.
I hate to see people discouraged from talking about death, especially their own.
It’s so natural, healthy, when experiencing the death of another to consider our own.
It’s part of learning to live, I think.
I bet the others appreciate your presence in the group.
I wish I could figure out how to get the daily grief reflections you guys talk about, it sounds like there’s some good stuff coming through.
~B

 

Bernadine, you have a great friend. I have
a family who have "adopted" me. The
parents are my age, and their daughter
is like a daughter to me. She owned a
restaurant near Linda's rehab unit in the
nursing home. I would get food to go
from her place, bc the food in the unit
was terrible. I would sit in Linda's room,
& we would eat together, in front of the
TV. The restaurant owner never met
Linda, but I know they would've liked
each other. When Linda died, this
kind woman was the only person I could
call from the ER. Later, she would visit
me, and listen to me cry, & swear, out of
survivor's guilt. There is a scene in the
documentary, which reminds me of
Linda, when she was 12. When her
younger ( & only) brother died at 10,
her parents ignored her pain, and talked
only of their pain. It was unfair, and
Linda never forgave them. Lou

 

Gary, Grief is Like Carrying a Stone in Your Pocket, good way to explain Grief!. It has been so many times that I feel I am carrying a stone in my pocket....Thanks for sharing!

 

I was watching in you tube the six needs of the mourner by Dr. Alan Wolfelt, pubished Apr 30, 2020 it is approx one hour, very interesting! He says "Grieving is unique as our fingertips" Gary, thanks for mentioning!

 

B the daily reflection is from Centerforloss.com. You have to click on to have the reflection sent to your email address. I wasn’t getting it after several attempts because my computer was labeling it as junk mail. When I looked at my junk mail box it was full of all the daily reflections. You can click on “not junk” in your junk mail box and then it will come directly through. I haven’t had any problems since. Thanks for the documentary. I’m looking forward to watching it in the morning. Gary