Grief quotes of the day

Gary, you did make me laugh watching cartoons, but sorry you cried. We all grief at different levels, and my time machine is stuck in the past. I can't listen to music yet. Nor could I put Jack's garment in my view, tears constantly.

It's such a help reading how everyone here deals with their grief and daily lives. I see progression. I see progression in you. If you felt some peace you had a flicker of light you crossed over even if it was for a few seconds.

Speaking of cartoons I remember going to the theatre for .10 cents to see the movie over again, but mostly the cartoons. They were the best back in the 50's.

Yes, your post helped, Karen

 

And with that, we carry no concern of pain or doubt. Our last moments, just like our lives, is brought into perspective and only love prevails.
Our beloveds do not need resolution, they have no question of love or loyalty. No what ifs. None.
Grief is for the living. A most natural, pure emotion.
What they want for us is to be ourselves. In all our moments, big and small, the resolution we may seek is found in ourselves. Our ideas of them and their relation to us is in the heart.
What I struggle to navigate is the feeling of living unseen. That’s the aloneness. Kenn knew more of me than anyone could. I know he sees me, it just was easier when I could see me in his eyes and know I was loved, not in spite of but because of who I am.
I’m strong enough to feel this.
~B

 

B, you have a way of expressing life, death and grieving I've never thought about it in that perspective. My brain hasn't gotten there yet. I do know what you mean, seeing yourself in Kenn's eyes and know you were loved not in spite of but because of who I am.

 

Helena I like the Buddhist view of the afterlife also. Coming into existence is not the birth date or conception. There were cells ear marked for us long before conception. When did they go out of existence? The deceased cells are still in existence in younger relatives. The ancient ones are connected to the ones yet to come. While Cheryl was in transition I recited the myths The Passing of the Tathagata and Prince Five Weapons from memory. Cheryl was instructed not to linger in this world But to leave her tired old body and run into her new body and new world. I repeated travel well Cheryl travel well. Around 2 hours after Cheryl’s departure a profound look replaced the look of someone very tired into someone that was enlightened and at peace. Dare I almost took a photo but didn’t. The Buddhist contend death is one of the most important parts of life because that’s when karma is transferred. I believe the majority of Cheryl’s karma went to her goddaughter’s fetus. That experience is one of the reasons that I believe in the afterlife. Zuba writes moment by moment we are given the choice between love and fear. By believing someone we love dearly has been tragically taken from us and we are all alone is the choice of fear. But By choosing love we believe the spirit of the one we love dearly has returned to the home of its choosing and yet part of it remains here with us. Love is the new way to grieve. Gary

 

Gary and Helena, I guess I'm one of those suspicious people. I need to find out where/why and how the Buddhist came to their belief in life and death. I may have to go on line and find out, or maybe someone here knows? I'm trying to make sense of it all.

I posted earlier, I've been in a stalemate with grief, stuck in my progress of moving anywhere for almost 3 months now. That's why I'm searching for anything that can get me out of this funk.

I ordered a book by Alan Wolfelt called, "Living in the Shadow of the Ghost of Grief, step into the light". This one just caught my eye. I can share after I read it.

I just can't stand being stuck, not moving. I choose love, but it's not sinking in.

I'm glad you had that experience and shared your testimony about Cheryl's karma went to her goddaughter's fetus, I believe it. Thanks for listening, Karen

 

I really disagree with Jonathan, once your dead your dead as I disagreed that Jack on that too. How sad. I believe we must believe in something. We are spiritual beings and I believe out spirits/souls do move on after death. As Oprah says, "I'm a spiritual being living a human life". So true.

 

Lou, we all have wishes of one more time, one more hug, one more conversation. I believe they knew we loved them, Linda knew I just know it.

Okay, on the flip side and I don't mean to be heartless, but I did get a laugh "nutbag" Lou. Linda sure had names for you Banana Lou. Maybe list them down sometime for the laugh of the day. Those nicknames are very special for you. Karen

 

Gary, As much as I would like to believe in the after life its only my brain that makes the assumptions for me to be comfortable if I'm thinking that I will meet Geoff in the after life,.... I go with whatever makes me feel at ease and fight this deepest pain after my beloved died, he is not here but thinking that he is guiding me or we will meet somewhere in the starts or space, that reliefs my sorrow!!.
Christianity and Buddhism, one can see how western religions compare and differ from eastern religions as the religions encompassing each region share some common ground, giving one a worldly view of religion. While the two contain similarities, as there is some sort of end result after your life ends, the way to get to this end result as well as the end result in itself contain differences. According to Buddhism, one follows a set path in order to reach the ultimate end goal which is nirvana, while in Christianity one contains the Bible as a guide to heaven. I am fascinated by the afterlife and its many forms, especially in the doctrines of Buddhism and Christianity. I thought it would it be interesting to examine these religions because each offers a different journey to the afterlife causing most to not notice their similarities. I also wanted to highlight the differences in how suffering can be viewed and escaped within the two.
Grieving is the continuation of love, our brains changed, if one has faith in something we take whatever makes us comfortable BUT we never stop loving our partners makes us be a better person, I know my sadness is deep in my brain ups and downs. In my case I'm fighting on my own, no family, no friends only my reality I'm grieving, my husband was like a drug he used to look at me and smile, we used to talk, had disagreements, share so many good and things but my beloved it's not here, I need to heel, continue loving him and hopefully I can move forward.
It's helpful to read books from people that experienced the lost of the loved one and for me this site I feel is helping me, I found a group of people that I have never met face to face like yourself and all TGW, it keeps me going, we all are grieving and we can share our experiences without judgement.
Sending you my love and peace for all of us. Helena

 

Helena, on my past post to you and Gary. Christianity has the Bible for a source for belief. I'm wondering where did the source come from for the Buddhism's belief?
I'm not asking you about this it's just something I need to search out. And, thank you for your reply, it makes sense. Karen

 

Karen, If you are going to look for the source of Buddhism, this is what I found: "The teachings of Buddha A sacred text known as the Tipitaka (in Pali) or Tripitaka (in Sanskrit). This means "the Three Baskets". Generally, it is a collection of three sets of writings. These include the Sutra Pitaka, the Vinaya Pitaka, and the Adbhidharma Pitaka. However, there are exceptions since all the sects of Buddhism do not strictly use of the Tipitaka. In Fact different Buddhist sects make use of varying texts. Helena

 

Thank you Helena. My homework, maybe Mr. Grief will go to sleep while I explore. Ha!

 

I’ll toss this in;
The Vedas and The Upanishads are also Eastern texts that may be helpful.
Indigenous traditions, which are often oral but have been documented contain also a tree of life, an eternal soul, ancestry, etc.
The bible is actually oddly translated and has made it feel like a separate authoritative scripture.
The Torah & Kabbalah give a foundation.
The gnostic gospels will provide some nice context that shows the life and teachings of jesus to be more in line with other traditions.
A study of how, who, why and when the very modern day bible was put together may be worth investigating.
If you want to go deep The Tibetan Book of the Dead is a weighty tome that gives ritual for preparation for death.

For me, having worked within many cultures and traditions, the certainty of existence beyond an individual’s lifetime is firm.
How that plays out is open to interpretation but we must remember the origin stories of most spiritual traditions are remarkably similar. How they were adopted into society, changed with geographical and political winds and cultural norms. The daily practices and insights with those who cultivated a lifetime of dedicated communication with spirit continue to show an individual yet universal understanding of something more than we can comprehend.

I understand the desire for certainty that comes with a religious faith. We must all choose our path.
The tradition of our ancestors, our childhood and community often suffice and one need not look further if they find there the solace and insight for living and dying.
These studies, while grieving, would be an undertaking. Our world has been rocked and the expansion that comes from a wider worldview and paradigm shift can be significant.
Lots of compassion and empathy for yourself and others as we travel this path.
In the Toltec tradition is encouragement to find a path with heart.
Where love is, we are. And love is everywhere.
And so too our beloveds.
~B

Toss all of that if it isn’t helpful.

 

Oprah often gets the credit but this is quite an old and universal truth.
Here’s a list of others that share the same…. This might lead you towards an area of study that feels relevant.
https://wisdomtrove.com/we-are-spiritual-beings-having-a-human-experience-quotes/

 

B, The Vedas and The Upanishads text and the Buddhist philosophy are pretty deep for my little brain. And I thank you for saying these studies, while grieving, would be an undertaking. It certainly is helpful if not more educational. It certainly opens up many doors, as you said, the origin stories of most spiritual traditions are remarkable similar. As we do know there is only one Creator and each religion practices it in their own way. Oh, hum! One Creator - I hope so.

I'll take your suggestion and get a modern day bible. Mine was given to me when I was 5 years old. Thanks B for posting this.

 

I will read this. Yes, Oprah did seem to get the credit, but I see not so.

 

The modern bible was compiled in the 300s ad
New testament about 120 ad
Jewish texts found about 120 bc
Loose dates off the top of my head….
The selection of this 2,000 year old text is newer than the other Eastern texts we encounter.
Finding a bible with the apocryphal books might provide some further insight into Jesus if that’s the direction you find yourself heading. The gospels of Mary and Thomas are two lovely ones.

 

READ THIS OUT LOUD

this is this cat.
this is is cat.
this is how cat.
this is to cat.
this is keep cat.
this is an cat.
this is idiot cat.
this is busy cat.
this is for cat.
this is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.

NOW GO BACK AND READ THE THIRD WORD ONLY IN EACH LINE FROM THE START.

 

"SOME DAYS I AMAZE MYSELF. OTHER DAYS I PUT MY KEYS IN THE FRIDGE."

 

Karen, it's Tues morning, almost 8am, here,
so hopefully you're still asleep. I'm catching up on GIC. In one reply to Bernadine about Buddhist philosophy, you
referred to your "little brain". Far from it.
There is not one GW here, who does not
bring wisdom, and wit, to any discussion.
By bringing up the topic of the afterlife,
you showed yourself to be a true leader
on GIC. I've evolved myself, under the
influence of GW like you. I started a
thread of Loss of Spouse, especially
dealing with a Center for Loss quote by
humorist, Dave Barry, about the "tantrum"
of grief, which you & I demonstrate. You
laughed at the many mischievous names
Linda called me, like: "Crazy old coot,
Bananas, and Nutbag". When I first went to
my grief counselor, she suggested I write
down all of Linda's funny phrases. I couldn't do it without sobbing. After weeks
went by, I tried again, the words flowed, &
made me smile. I even shared some of
these phrases with friends , who didn't know Linda, but laughed----- at my
expense. Lou

 

GOOD MORNING GW, today is another day and I found a poem that I would like to share with you.

I'LL BE MISSING YOU by Jac Judy A. Campbell published November 2017

They say that time will heal all wounds.
I know that could be true.
It's the lonely i in-between times.
That I start missing you.

Every time you cross my mind,
I think you're here with me.
Then I sadly realize
That it could never be.

But then I just can't help but see
Your memories everywhere:
Your coffee cup, your old worn hat,
And there sits your empty chair.

Then I'll just be thinking of
The places we would go,
The people we would meet,
And see a person we both know

Then I look around and see
A gift you've given me,
Our picture in its frame
And your favorite program on TV.

Then I start remembering
Some place we had to be
And the things we used to do.
Then I start missing you.

Then sometimes out of nowhere
Your smiling face I see.
I feel your hand inside of mine.
Then I start missing you.

Then sometimes out of nowhere
our smiling face I see.
I feel your hand inside of mine.
Then it seems you're here with me.

And then some days it feels
So long we've been apart,
But neither time nor distance
Will erase you from my heart.

Then I begin to realize,
And it makes me sad and blue,
That many days and nights
I'll be missing you.