Grief quotes of the day

Rita, that's horrible. Not to be gross, but
the worst pain I ever had was having a
catheter inserted. I asked for a pain
killer, also, but it wasn't enough. I
screamed until it was done. I thank God
every day that I'm OK. My urologist
prescribed meds to prevent me from
ever going through this horror again.
I bring this up in case any other man on
GIC has to face this. Lou

 

My dear husband had to endure that several times....cannot bear to think of that pain + more...last days at hospital nightmares...too much for me to watch...what's sad is you are there trying to console him and crying through the process. Something I will never forget. Sorry.....for you too Lou.

 

Melancholy, a sculpture created by Albert Gyorgy, portrays the void that grief leaves within us. Gyorgy felt intense sadness and isolation from the loss of his wife and went on to create this beautiful piece of artwork as a way to cope. This remarkable sculpture can be found in Lake Geneva, Switzerland.

 

Rita, that''s terrible about your poor
husband. It was horrible for you to watch
and hear his painful cries. You are a
brave woman to have been there.As bad as
it was for Ron, it must have given him some comfort to know that you were by
his side. It's taken a long time for me
to realize that although I couldn't save Linda
from the pain of her cruel cancer, she
knew I was there for her. Hope you sleep
better now that you know you don't
have broken bones. I'm going to sleep
soon. "Talk" tomorrow...... Lou

 

Bernadine, that's a powerful sculpture. I
gasped when I saw it. I worked through
my grief over Linda's death, by going to an
art museum and seeing the haunting
paintings, including self portraits, of Van
Gogh. I was so moved by them that I took
Van Gogh for my user name when I
joined GIC. I was a tortured soul like he
was. Bc of my close friendships here , I
don't feel as tortured & lonely today. Lou

 

Goodnight TGW and GIC, hugs, Rita

 

We must forgive our friends and family for not knowing how we feel. How could they? There are there for us -- even though they do not understand. They do their best.

 

Lou, My love's last days in the hospital is something I choose and have to try to forget because it is SO VERY PAINFUL to me. I quoted my feelings once here under "Grief Quotes of the Day" Post #335 to Deb. I believe you read it. It best describes my frustration, pain and anger! Rita

 

Sending everyone hugs, comfort, strength, prayers, and hope for the ability to smile again, Rita

 

Thank you, Rita. I'm smiling today. I went
to my local cafe to listen to a piano
player. I was the only patron , so I had
a long talk with him, a married guy my
age. He was sorry to hear about Linda.
I told him Linda would have liked him ,
his music, & this cafe. The sun just came
out & I'm going to walk downtown to
see friends. Good people, on & off GIC,
are my salvation. Lou

 

You are very lucky to live in an area where you can walk to so many places you love and to have friends there....many of us aren't that fortunate! Enjoy for all of us!!!! Hugs, Rita

 

Yes, Rita, I do feel blessed, but with the

"bittersweet" feeling that Linda isn't
here, physically, to enjoy it with me. I
talk about her with friends ( who never
met her) & even with kind strangers, on
occasion, to keep Linda's spirit alive. Lou

 

[QUOTE="Dreary, post: 27050, member:



Goodnight TGW and GIC, hugs, Rita[/QUOTE]
Thank you, Rita, and good Sat.morning.
Every morning I have the same ritual. If
I wakeup dreaming, I pause to remember
the dream, which usually has some
connection with a person, or a conversation from that day. Then, I get
coffee started. Then, I think of something
I can look forward to that day. This
morning, as I do every Sat morning, I
walk to the American Legion Post, for
their coffee & good natured kidding. I've
been going for 3 years , after moving here
a few months after Linda died. When I
walked in the first time, I was nervous,
bc I felt all eyes on me, a stranger. I went
up to an old Korean War veteran, &
said quietly, 'I'm not a veteran". He looked
at me, with kind eyes, & told me to pull
up a chair. We've become friends. It turns
out that his dear wife had died, fairly
recently, after many years of love and
marriage. We formed a bond. After the
sorrow, there's much laughter, and I've
learned a lot from him. None of this
would've happened if I didn't take that
first step. Lou

 

Rita,

I've been MIA, for what seems like an eternity. This is the very first message I've read today. While I was reading your over the top!!!, TUTTAM!!!, very sad response, I had to reach for a tissue... All of this SUCKS!!! I can (almost) feel all of your pain... I wish so much you and I didn't have so much in common, but, and this is one of those really BIG BUTS!!!, we "get" what each of us is suffering through, in a way that no one who hasn't lived through this very worst, real life nightmare, can possibly even begin to understand. I feel comforted, but so over the top sad, knowing you're in the same boat, having had to watch Ron, just like I had to watch Bob, slip away before our eyes..., so helpless..., so out of control, to stop their pain...

I was fortunate because Bob didn't exhibit many signs of Parkinson's related dementia (?), until the very end of his life. I cried whenever he couldn't see me, alone in the shower, in bed late at night, knowing as hard as it was for me to watch his personality slowly fade away, I knew it was a zillion times worse for him. He knew this was happening to him and was able to express what was going on in words, until the end was near. Even though he tried to hide it from me, I knew losing his memory was the most terrifying part of all, much worse for him than any of the physical pain he endured. I can't even imagine what it was like for you and Ron... Ron having had dementia for a longer period of time. I just want to give you the biggest hug ever... I need another tissue...

Just like you're glad God took Ron before you, I'm glad God took Bob before me. I am grateful every single day that Bob didn't have to be the one to go through this total heartbreak... I try to think how fortunate we are to have been able to experience true love..., the kind of love, where you would do anything at all, for your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your partner, etc., etc. etc., I think about the people who haven't found their soulmate... the hole in their hearts, not having been filled... In a way, love and intense grief, are the same. Grief, the kind of total heartbreak we are experiencing, is the very strongest kind of love. You can't grieve without having loved. I was going to erase the last three sentences, not sure if they're expressing what I'm trying to say, but decided to leave them. Hope you "get" this.

On a more positive note, I agree with you. We ARE better people because of everything we've gone through, from experiencing true love, only to have all of our dreams shattered, to having to begin rebuilding our lives from the foundation up. We have become kinder, more caring, more loving people, because of this. I'm comforted by knowing that something good has come out of all of our pain, even though it still SUCKS!!!, and always will SUCK!!!

I will gladly kick Mr. Grief, as hard as I possibly can, in the ass for you, for everyone in our GIC family!!!, TUTTAM!!! Consider it done!!!

Sending you zillions of hugs and lots of love, wishing you peace, all of us peace, DEB

 

Helena,

I love this!!!, TUTTAM!!! Solitude is something that has helped me these past few months more than I can ever express in words. While I'm still over the top lonely, missing Bob with all my heart, more and more with each passing day..., the times I spend in MIA mode, away from the world, just me... wrapped in my very favorite, super soft, bereavement blanket, with a box of tissues, a cup of tea, watching the flickering flame of a candle on my coffee table, are some of the most peaceful moments I've had since Bob's death.

I've learned so much about myself from spending time in solitude... I seem to need lots of solitude as I do my best to continue to heal. Solitude can be a wonderful thing.

As always, sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Bernadine,

To repeat Lou, this is a very powerful sculpture!!!, TUTTAM!!! Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I'm going out with my friend who became a widow before I did, the friend who lives several blocks away from me, tonight. I have to share the picture of this sculpture with her. It says it all, without saying a thing. Thank you so much for sharing.

Sending you and Maggie lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Helena,

I need a tissue... This is so over the top bittersweet, so very beautiful... LOVE!!! it. Thank you for sharing.

As always, sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Robin,

It seems like I haven't "talked" to you in ages... I've missed you, but like you, need lots of MIA time, time to think about everything and nothing at all, cry, scream, realize that I have so much I still have to accomplish, want to accomplish, before I'm reunited with Bob.

I'm glad you're feeling better. I've been fighting a migraine, been seeing lots of those zigzagging wavy lines in my field of vision, most likely caused by Mother Nature's over the top bad mood. Changes in weather is one of my biggest triggers for migraines. I'm finally feeling much better. I'm going out for dinner with my friend (widowed before me) who lives several blocks away from me tonight.

I'm looking forward to a nice night out and know this IS!!! progress. I'm so grateful to you, to all of our GIC "family..." Everyone has helped me continue to move forward, even during those dark moments, when I NEVER!!! thought I would look forward to anything again. I need a tissue... I'm an emotional mess today..., but at the same time, I'm okay.

Lost my train of thought, so stopping here.

Sending you and Teddy lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Deb, I cried when you & Rita were grateful
that God took Ron & Bob first, bc they
would have had unbearable heartache.
I never thought about it until the two of
you said it, but I believe that it would 've
been horrible for Linda if I had died first.
She was given to depression, & as she
aged, her health & vitality diminished.
She told me that the one thing that kept
her going, her reason to live, was to look after me. If I had died, I believe she would
have died soon after---- of a broken
heart. Therapy didn't work for Linda, and
I don't think she would've had the patience to be on GIC. We were on the same page
about many things, but we were very
different, in our outlook on life. I am still a
glass full kind of man. Sadly, Linda was a
glass half empty woman. Lou