Grief quotes of the day

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people can't live without but have to let go.
I'm learning a lot about myself being alone and doing what I'm doing.

I'll not wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. I will start now. With each step I take I'll grow stronger and stronger, more and more self-confident and I'll go forward even now in my seventies without my beloved partner and with sad and happy memories. "That's is Life"

 

Hi Rita. not too long after Cheryl passed I was reading an article in AARP about “where do you see yourself in 10 years?” WTF!? I thought terribly alone sick and dying. It really upset me being a informational read for seniors. I told my therapist at the time and her supervisor called me to make sure I was alright. Navigating grief isn’t easy for me. I am so grateful for TGW. I’ve been wishing I could tell a friend or family member just how bad it feels sometimes. And see into their eyes and let them see how I really feel. Without being able to express ourselves would mean extreme isolation for me. I could feel myself getting sad Sunday. It increased yesterday. And maxed out(hopefully) today. I haven’t been paying my regular premiums to Mr Grief’s Amusement Park. Today I hope I got caught up. I don’t feel as bad about mourning as before. I’m recognizing the process of feeling it. The author of Invisible Ink defines grief as love with no where to go. THW are all tremendous lovers. I send regular “I love yous” to Cheryl. I feel Cheryl is returning them to me. I was attempting some mindfulness in the back yard and not having much success and I saw the sun open in the clouds above a tree I was under and I thought about your post. Thanks. Gary

 

Gary, I too know how hard this grieving is! And I try very hard to not dwell on the future or think about where I will be in a few years,,,,I focus more on today now and even try to focus less on my past (because some that still requires some healing). I too have read a lot and searched the internet and listened t0 everyone here and agree that we can only handle trauma/grief/loss/pain in stages, not all at once. I constantly have to tell myself to take it a little at a time, don't think too far ahead or too much, just move slowly, stay in the present and handle what you can when you can. In my case, as in many other people's, a lot of insecurity from childhood tends to creep into adult grieving and you find yourself dealing with a multitude of different pain/loss all at once. So focusing and breaking it all down into bits and pieces is important. For me anyway.....if not, it would overwhelm me and I just CANNOT let it. As Deb said, I have to KICK MR GRIEF in the ass several times a day, Mostly I just ride the rollercoaster up and down right now...holding on for dear life, until it hopefully gets better and I will see the sunshine more often everyday. So always remember that there are others out here with feelings very similar to yours.....GIC has been a life-saver for me....sending you prayers, and wishes for peace, comfort and more sunshine everyday, Rita

 

Gary, one more thing, so many of us are here to let our grieving find a voice, because for various reasons, it is impossible to find a family member who truly understands our depth of loss and pain. That's what unites us here on GIC, we can let it all out and someone who responds seems to know exactly how awful you are feeling. Even if you have a whole room full of family, you can easily still feel isolated and alone if no one really understands or has walked in your shoes. There are so many sharing their stories of loss and grief on GIC because it brings them comfort that they cannot find elsewhere. Keep the faith and remember we are here walking down the same road of grief with you. We will work to make everyday a bit better, each in our own way, but sharing our experience here with other TGWs. Please have a goodnight and a better tomorrow, Rita

 

Bernadine, just got around to reading
your amusing reply to Karen, the
inventor of the term, Mr. Grief. Like
Karen & some other GW, I've past the
70 year old milestone. My role model in
my town is a 98 year old woman, who
likes people & lives in the moment. If
asked, she will talk about her 2 deceased
husbands, but she would rather talk with
others about the present. She also knows
how to treat herself in a restaurant, or
take walks to see people, on "the Neck",
our boardwalk of shops, restaurants, &
art galleries. She told me she'd rather spend money in local restaurants and
shops, than to be lonely & depressed, in
her apartment, & having the need to pay
a therapist. Now, that spring is finally
coming, I agree with her. Lou

 

Rita, your advice about trying to live in
the present is excellent. As I just wrote to
Bernadine, my role model is a 98 year
old woman in my town. She doesn't
dwell in the past, lives in the moment, &
doesn't worry about the future. I have to
take credit for the phrase, kicking " Mr.
Grief in the ass", but I'm happy that Deb &
other GW will adopt that phrase. Anything
that can make us smile, these days, is a
good thing. Lou

 

Rita, I finally saw your Monday quotes
today. It's still only in the 40 degree range
here in Massachusetts. I'm grateful that I
can walk outside now, especially if it's
sunny. But, I still feel the winter weariness,
as well as loneliness, & have been going to
sleep early. I was amazed how many posts,
like yours, that I missed----until today. As
you said, " better late than never". Albert
Einstein is a hero of mine, bc though he
suffered great tragedy in his life, he
maintained a belief in God's order in the
universe. He also had a mischievous
sense of humor, as well as being a
scientific genius. Thank you for your
inspiring quotations, as always. Lou

 

Most of us are born into this world Alone.
Solitude is a circumstance that feels quite singular, yet at the same time, it connects all of us at once.
It is a personal yet universal state of being that can feel both unifying and disconnecting all at once.
Solitude is not the same as loneliness, however. The former describes desired time spent alone, while the latter is usually isn't a choice.
But solitude is not necessarily a "terrible" thing. In fact, it can be a source of uplifting inspiration.

 

The majority of TGW experience loneliness, here are a few quotes:

"In this world, nothing makes me feel good anymore. Loneliness is what I have now, and I am getting used to this. I hope better days will come"
"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better" - Unknown.
There is a big difference between lonely and alone when you feel lonely you are sad but when you are alone you can spend time with the most amazing person in the world, and that is you." - Unknown
"Life can be confusing. Sometimes it is just too challenging to be alone, and at other times, it feels great to be alone." Unknown
"Sometimes you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself."
"If you are feeling lonely know that you'll always have: books to nurture your mind, hands to create and explore, wind to calm your soul, breaths to calm your nerves, nature to soak your worries away, starts to decorate your dreams."
"Loneliness has two facets. If you look at it from the front it is full of despair. But once you turn it around, it only shows resilience and strong willpower" - Unknown
"The feeling of loneliness can destroy you, weaken you, make you indifferent, harass you or build your character. It is all a matter of choice."
"Loneliness has an untainted charm of its own which awaits to unfold itself when the soul is in solitude"
"The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
"Sometimes, you just need a break. In a beautiful place. Alone. To figure everything out." - Unknown
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing 'n life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone" - Robin Williams

 

I ran into this quote not too along ago Helena, thank you for sharing here....Hugs, Rita

 

Rita, Walt Whitman was an American
poet, who was an optimist, and positive
thinker. I'm trying to be that now. I was
always a glass half full guy. I don't want to
lose that. Lou

 

I don't have any quotes today, I only have a terrible head ache dealing with so much paperwork and with no much concentration, I'm having a non-productive day, I'll better go out in the sun to be with nature.
Hope everybody have a better day!! "one day at the time".
Helena

 

Well, today is not the day for me!! UGH....

 

Having one of those days too Helena, hope the day in the sunshine with nature will help you to feel better....i get to go out in the rain to the Urgent Care to get my knee xray'd ,,,, had a fall a while back and it isn't too much better so want to be sure I have not dislocated or broken anything.....talk to you soon,,,,,please have a better day and know we are here for you, hugs and comfort, Rita

 

Rita, hope you get help & heal fast! I
stupidly jumped over a puddle, during
a heavy rain, & landed on a knee. It
cut & bled. I went into the local bar, that
I used to frequent during my drinking days
after Linda died ( I had to stop, bc I became too depressed). Anyway, the female
bartender ran over to the waitresses to
get a bandage for me. Thankfully, there
were no customers, bc the bar became a
medical center. I must say it was nice to
get all this attention from women, despite
the unfortunate circumstances. When I
was home, I noticed my other knee tensed
up, & I couldn't tie my sneakers or use the
stairs. I went to a kind, young married
PT at a rehab facility. When I went into a
private room with her, I told her that I
felt lost, bc my wife, who was dead, used
to come with me to every medical
appointment. I started to cry, & she
kindly offered me kleenex. After that,
I was able to do leg exercises. I returned
2 more times, and I was fine. I think
part of that tensing up, was partly
psychological----missing Linda. Lou

 

Helena, so sorry you’re having one of those off days. That was me yesterday. Headache all day. Accomplished next to nothing. Couldn’t go outside because it was raining. Today I’m back on track mostly. I hope nature works it’s magic and you feel better. One day at a time. Robin

 

Rita, Good luck to you today. Hoping it’s not a break. Please keep us informed. Praying for good news and that your day turns around. Robin

 

Lou, loved your story about the bar....I injured this knee several years ago (see picture) and I was sent to a sports doctor. Well, he looked at it and said it had built up a lot of fluid so he decided it would be a good idea to draw out the fluid (UGH) - I asked ain killer, he siad No, don't think you'll need one......OK Doctor I trust you....then he walked back with this huge needle in his hand and I thought "OK, you've experienced pain before so just close your eyes and suck it up buttercup!" OK NOOOOOOOO!!! It hurt so bad I actually screamed as I was crying. I couldn't wait to get out of his office. He didn't even charge me. A lady in the waiting room on my way out, said, "what ever he did to you, he is not doing to me!" I have never been back since. It gradually got better, but not too long ago I hit it again and fell, so been doing the ice bit. BUT, if anyone ever suggests drawing out the fluid of a soar swollen knee again, they will have to knock me out first. LOL!!! Not letting that happen again. Hugs and wishes for a happy day, Rita