Grief quotes of the day

To all of you, these past messages have spoken volumes about the grief and loss we all feel and the struggle to take everything "one step, second, moment, day, etc" at a time. I have also realized that those of us closer to our 70s+ years sometimes find it a bit more difficult to foresee a brighter better future. Greiving such a loss takes so much time and energy and with other health problems (physical and internal) the effort can seem overwhelming (this is my totally NEGATIVE, SAD, PAINFUL SIDE SPEAKING, which I try not to let out often.) I try to be uplifting for all of us, as we all do, but occasionally, I fall flat on my face! Hope you all will bear with me as may have to spend some time picking myself up! Again, you are all so wonderful and caring. Couldn't do it without you. Even when I cry while typing, it helps to release some of the pain and I remember that "all of you my friends" are either in my state of being or have moved a bit forward, providing the comfort that you are there with me, (although I am sorry that you have to be as Deb once said). BUT I am so grateful you are. Sending hugs, love, comfort, prayers for you every day, Rita

 

Deb, you have become my platonic
"other soulmate" bc your words capture
how I feel, after 3 & a half years.
As Karen so brilliantly called it, "Mr.
Grief" strikes without warning, and we
have to deal with it, cry our eyes out,
at times, rather than bottling up our
grief , which leads to a prolonged
extreme bereavement & loneliness.
I'm determined to help & comfort others
like Linda would have. My biggest regret
is that Bob, you, Linda, & I , didn't know
each other. We would have been great
friends. Who knows. Maybe Gary was
right that all TGW & their soulmates will
meet someday in the afterlife. Lou

 

Rita, you & I are about the same age. As
I've said before, I feel my mortality & I
want to live ( healthy, if possible) for
many more years. My role model is a
98 year old female friend, who lost 2
husbands, but doesn't dwell in the past.
She loves people, likes to listen to their
stories. She walks all over town, with a
small cart on wheels, that she can put
things in,like her mail from the PO. When
she had her 98th birthday, many of us
sent her cards. She has a son my age, &
great grandchildren. When she walks into
a restaurant, she lights up a room with her
smile, and is treated like a queen. Lou

 

I shared this in another thread but it totally describes my grief: And my current mood :-(
by Dwight Yoakum, Roger Miller

The only time I feel the pain
Is in the sunshine or the rain
And I don't feel no hurt at all
Unless you count when teardrops fall
I tell the truth 'cept when I lie
And it only hurts me when I cry

You couldn't tell it by this smile
But my recovery took a while
I worked for days and nights on end
Just to walk and talk again
You can't believe the time it takes
To heal a heart once it breaks

The only time I feel the pain
Is in the sunshine or the rain
And I don't feel no hurt at all
Unless you count when teardrops fall
I tell the truth 'cept when I lie
And it only hurts me when I cry

Oh maybe every now and then
I have a small heartache again
You wouldn't know to look at me
There's tiny scars that you can't see
It was a struggle to survive
I'm probably lucky I'm alive

The only time I feel the pain
Is in the sunshine or the rain
And I don't feel no hurt at all
Unless you count when teardrops fall
I tell the truth 'cept when I lie
And it only hurts me when I cry

I tell the truth 'cept when I lie
And it only hurts me when I cry

 

She sounds amazing Lou, obviously many are lucky to know her. I wish I could be more like that, more positive, more courageous, more outgoing.
But even as a child, my upbringing didn't instill those type of traits in me. I was always more melancholy in nature....much moving and leaving family and too many goodbyes. Put on a good exterior to cover up the inner pain....some of that is still with me. Sadly!!!!

 

Thank you for your honesty, Deb.
We’re all in this for the long haul; it’s good to have fellow travelers when we hit a stretch of treacherous of road as we navigate this grief journey. ~B

 

Deb thanks for the LMSO in regards to Bob putting the toilet seat down. You’re an inspiration to us hearing that your creativity is coming back and you are comprehending the true meaning of life. I like how you mentioned getting the right amount too. That’s the great secret of life. Balance. Moderation. I try. I’ve had a couple days of mourning the loss of my beloved Cheryl. I’m ok with mourning privately. I don’t try to hold back Mr Grief when he sucker punches me. Thanks older brother Lou. Cheryl’s daffodils have survived 3 hard freezes so far. It reminds me of Cheryl’s fighting spirit. I too was in the hospital recently where Cheryl passed from this life into the next. I will never forget the expression on Cheryl’s face of enlightenment. Helena it’s good to know you are able to express your grief. One of my favorite Tom Zuba quotes is when you have grieved so much you just can’t do it any more say to yourself I am heal I am healing. Because you are healing. I’m not a big fan of mourning but we all have to. The cartoon I watched this morning was Daniel Tigers Neighborhood. The theme was when you feel sad ask some questions and it will make you feel better. Ironically I did that yesterday with a close friend. I felt better. Just like I do after reading everyone’s posts today. Gary

 

Rita, I'm so sorry to hear that you were
melancholy as a child. So was Linda.
She had an unhappy childhood. Her
younger brother died at 10, when Linda
was only 12. She always looked at life
as a glass half empty. She felt cursed,
& her illnesses reinforced her sad
outlook. I had a happy childhood, &
remember my grandparents who were
kind to each other & to me, All of Linda's
grandparents were dead before she was
born. Lou

 

Thank you, brother Gary. I feel close to
everyone on GIC today. I like that Zuba
quote , too. I'm going to an Irish Session
at my local cafe this afternoon. I may
have to bring kleenex, in case I cry to
"Danny Boy", & some sad ballads. But,
I need people today. I've been alone,
& stuck inside, all winter. Lou

 

Rita, I'm grateful for you & all TGW on this
Sunday afternoon. As I told Gary, I'm
among people at an Irish Session. I love
the people who own this cafe, & bring us
live music. I'm sitting at a table --alone--
so it's bittersweet without Linda. I'd
probably be crying if I weren't "talking"
with you. Lou

 

Here is a short poem that I found the other day:

"Every morning I wake up and put a mask
The mask make everything seem all right.
But they don't know I cry at night
The nightmares just won't go away
If only I new it was your last day
For six years I've felt this pain
The feeling just won't go away
Everyone thinks I've dealt with your death the best
But without this mask I'd be a mess"

 

My Sorrow

"Life is dead without you.
Feel an empty hole inside .
Can't be me with you no near.
With a frown I cry.

Tears run down my face.
Needles go through my heart.
Felt a pain rushing in the day you went away.

Want to run away, and hide.
Leave this all behind.
Know that words won't bring you back.
Still I have to try.

Can't breath
Can't see
Can't live my live
Can't bare the feeling I have inside

Want to yell, ant let it all out.
Instead I keep it all inside
Hoping I won't start to cry when I see you in my mind.
Felt a numbness coming in when I heard that you were gone.

Can't stop the constant think of you
One day we'll meet again.
We'll leave the world behind.
Until we meet another time my life is nothing. but in sorrow."

 

Gary, glad to hear Chery'l daffodils have survived and also that you are ok. It's good to know that I have friends that watched cartoons and help us when we feel sad. Also I managed to smile as Deb mentions Bob putting the toilet seat down, that is my today's LMSO.

 

Helena, this is so gutwrenching & raw.
I felt this way when Linda, my soulmate
wife, best ( & only ) friend and family,
died right before my eyes & I was
helpless to "save " her. I was in shock &
had PTSD, like a soldier, in war, who sees
his best buddy, alive one minute,and
dead the next. I couldn't function bc I
couldn't get that last image of Linda out of
my mind. I went to the home/office of a
psychiatric nurse practitioner/ grief
counselor . At first , all I did was weep, in
anguish & guilt that I wasn't caring enough,
or affectionate enough, right before Linda
died. Most of all, I didn't have a chance to
say I loved her & that our spirits would
meet again . Now, I need friends who
understand, both on & off GIC. We GW
are always here for you when you
"stumble & fall",as the song, by the late
Bill Withers says, in Stand By Me. Lou

 

Hi Rita, Thank you, your words speak what I feel and
have felt being here at GIC with you all (TGW “Family” )
Rita, Deb,Karen,Helena, Bernadine,Robin,Lou,George,
Gary,Chad,Rick,Terry, and others.
It took me a couple years after my Jack passing to
search for a support group, I know God led me to GIC
“Loss Of A Spouse” I’ve not been able to reply to many
of your postings lately, due to a visual disorder which has
been quite progressive.I will try to continue to visit when
I can to rea, I hope to come back to post once more, it’s
my last poem I wrote for my Jack , which I wrote
for him at his request, during his illness.
I’m keeping you all in my daily prayers.
Sending, Hugs,Love, Blessings to everyone.
Patti

 

Patti, I've missed you. I know you're
listening to us, bc you put a "LIKE" next
to our posts. I'm so sorry about your
vision problem. I hope we can see the
poem you wrote for Jack,soon. Helena,
Bernadine, & Rita have posted moving
attachments about grief. God Bless you.
Lou

 

Thank you Lou, I wrote this 2-2-2007 for Jack,
prior to his fall from Parkinson’s on 6-16-2008
“Time”
Time is not just a minute, or another day,
It’s a lifetime of treasured memories forever to stay.
So many of those memories that we hold dear,
Far too many shed many a tear.
Our Faith and Belief will see us through,
God walks with us daily, with me and you.
The path we choose is ours for the taking,
The joy HE will give us, are HIS in the making.
One day Together in Heaven we’ll be,
HIS promise together “FOREVER”,for you and me.
Time goes on beyond, with abundant treasure,
One day we will be together, what blissful pleasure.
Time waits for no one, it goes by so fast,
that which we encounter in Loving one another is what will last.
Take hold feel the sun, the wind blowing,
Together what waits for us is knowing.
Life’s treasures beyond what life holds in store.
God in Heaven has to offer so much more.
Our PRECIOUS Ones GOD HAS IN HIS care,
Giving each back to HIM, is so hard to bare.
Hold onto time if God wants it to be so,
Time doesn’t stand still and HE wants us to know.
Time isn’t to be here just another minute or a day,
It’s a lifetime in Heaven, through Eternity to stay.
Thank you Lord for allowing this to be,
In giving Your Son Jesus, for each of us, You and Me.

 

Patti, Your poem is beautiful and very
moving. Until our spirits meet with Jack
and Linda, we must enjoy every day of
our remaining time on earth. Jack &
Linda wanted that for us. Lou

 

Patti, I hope your visual problem improves. Sending my thoughts and prayers hoping you will be able to post and join us here more often, We are all here to listen any time you need us! Hugs, Ruta

 

Your poem is so beautiful Patti...Thank you for sharing, Hugs, Rita