Grief quotes of the day

Helena,

I love!!! what Nicole said to you. I agree with every word and couldn't have said it half as well. A very close friend, who is also a widow, told me a very heartwarming story last night, it was so bittersweet, but so unbelievably beautiful at the same time... I had to reach for tissues as I listened to what she was saying to me. She asked me if I would share her recent experience, in the hope it will bring some comfort to those of us who are suffering through this total heartbreak. I'm going to do my best to repeat what she told me.

My friend has been going through a very difficult time and has been dealing with physical pain, as well as emotional pain, the kind of never ending emotional pain that comes only from total heartbreak, the kind only those of us suffering through it will ever understand. She was crying while at her kitchen sink washing dishes. She missed her husband's physical presence. She felt so alone..., so lonely..., especially after having to go through painful medical procedures without her husband, and is still unsure of the outcome. It was at this moment when God spoke to her. She instantly felt surrounded by love... God told her he has something special planned for her. Her husband, is already in heaven with God, where she will be reunited with him one day, but it isn't time yet. My friend said death isn't the end of life, because when our spirit leaves our bodies, we have a future with God.

Through all this total heartbreak and physical pain, she finds reasons to be grateful for each and every day she is on this earth. She accepts whatever is in her future because she knows God has a plan for her, just as He has a plan for all of us. We just need to trust in God. Her strong faith, and belief that death is not the end, but a beginning helps her get through her darkest days... I am very grateful to have this amazing person in my life. I need a tissue...

Although this seemingly endless twisted roller coaster ride of emotions SUCKS!!!, the only thing I know for sure, is that everything is always subject to change. I hope tomorrow will be a much better day for you, that you will have at least one reason to LMSO...

Always remember, no matter how bad things get, as Nicole so beautifully said, "know that we love you." I am so very glad you are part of our "family." I need another tissue...

Sending zillions of hugs and love your way, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Bernadine,

This so very beautiful... Thank you for sharing...

Sending you and Maggie lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Dear Helena, praying for strength for you today, tomorrow, and
all the tomorrows thereafter. We had tornado warnings here last night
heavy rains throughout the morning, was glad to see the beautiful
blue sky and white puffy clouds come out this afternoon.Sending
a BIG HUG, continued prayers daily to you and all TGW “Family”.
Blessings, Patti

 

Helena,

I "get" it. I've felt the same way you feel so many times, wishing people who have no idea what it feels like when the one true love of their lives dies, would stop offering advice. Not only are they "clueless," but as we all know, there is no one size fits all when it comes to healing. I know most people mean well, but I want to say please shut the "F" UP!!! They have absolutely NO!!! idea, TUTTAM!!! what being totally alone..., lonely even when surrounded by others, feels like. It SUCKS!!!

Mr. Grief hit big time this afternoon. I had to go to an outpatient facility for a routine mammogram, a place I've had to bring Bob to in the past. I was surprised at how many horrible memories were triggered just by walking through the front doors... Just the smell of the hospital gown had tears streaming down my face. It's a smell I wish I could forget.

It's a good thing I always bring lots of tissues with me wherever I go. I know I'm doing better than I was when I first found GIC, but afternoons, like the one I had today, just SUCK!!!

I'm in a super emotional mood, so tonight I'm going to morph into a couch potato, wrapped in my very favorite bereavement blanket, with a box of tissues, a cup of herbal tea, and watch the flickering flame of a candle on my coffee table. I think it's going to be an escape from reality kind of evening..., a tune into NetFlix, tune out of the world, kind of night...

I keep reminding myself about the conversation I had with my friend who I told you about earlier. I do trust in God and I know He has a plan for all of us. I know Bob is watching over me..., and will continue to watch over me until the moment we are reunited..., I do believe what my friend told me, that once our spirits leave our bodies, it's the beginning of a new kind of relationship with God, but, and this is another one of those really BIG BUTS!!!, right at this moment, the only thing that could make me feel any better is if Bob's arms were wrapped around me... It SUCKS!!!

Together we will get through all of our darkest days!!! As I've said so many times, (thanks to Lou), our name says it all, WE ARE TGW!!! I am so very grateful for you, for each and every one of my GIC friends...

Sending you lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Helena, we all have days when we don't know how we can survive. It comes in waves and some days, as you are experiencing, comes like a tsunami. It won't last, but will come again. I never believed it would get better, but after 1 yr and 5 months it does get better. I don't have the tsunami anymore, but waves of grief. Please believe it will get better. You will not stay in this stage of grief forever and knowing this brings hope. Stay upright, Karen

 

Karen, I'm so pleased to hear you say that
to Helena, just as I said that to you, many
months ago......Lou

 

Helena, I’m afraid you’re right that family and friends words are empty even if it’s the right words. And many times they’re hurtful. They don’t mean it, they don’t know any better. I’ve tried explaining to my family but it doesn’t sink in. My advice would be at the moment any way is to get through today, or this hour what ever you’re up to. When you think of the future or forever it’s too much to bear. Don’t go there yet. I’m over 3 years since losing Ron, he was my life my everything. I can think a few days ahead possibly a week but it becomes overwhelming. I’m finding like Gary mentioned that when Im having a rough time or rough day I isolate myself. Even from TGW. I know that’s not the best way to be. But I shut down. Having quite a bit of that lately. I feel Ill be in a better place if spring ever decided to show up. Fresh air and all of nature are so healing. I think it was Lou who mentioned that many people feel as if they’re cheating on their loved one if they even think of finding another partner. That is me to a “T”. But I haven’t even given that a thought.
I’m sorry Helena I started this hours ago. Got called away , so just posting now.
Wishing you many better tomorrow’s and the strength to get there. ❤️ Robin

 

Robin, it's good to see you on here tonight,
comforting Helena. Thank you for
quoting me. I'm amazed when people
give me credit. My concept of TGW
came to me one day, & I wanted to
share it with our group. I also came up
with intermittent grief, while watching a
weather report. All of the East Coast &
Midwest GW crave the sunshine. I finally
had a mild day today, & sat on a bench,
looking out to sea. Soon, you will be at the
shore , too, Robin. Lou

 

Thank you Lou, I need it so bad. It gets close then more wind, snow and rain. Last weekend we had a mostly nice day with intermittent rain. My daughter and I put up 3 pieces of fence. I’m so pleased with it and I felt alive. The next day was 20’s again. Spring has been such a tease this year. I’m glad it was nice enough for you to sit outside today. We got my daughters Jeep repaired and ready to drive on the beach. I can’t wait. We’re getting a storm tonight but mostly clear tomorrow I think. We’re going to an aquarium for my daughters birthday. Looking forward to it. Hope to see the outdoor shows. Going to hear from you Lou! Robin

 

Helena I learned some self compassion from the new book. First I have to recognize suffering in my life. Then I have to consider all of humanity Where many people are suffering. Many people are struggling like us. Many people have it much worse than us. Then put your hand on your heart and your other hand over that hand. Embrace yourself like you were holding someone you cared for dearly. Talk to yourself like you were talking to someone you cared for dearly. You are going to be OK. I am here for you. I value you. I will stay with you until you feel better. You can do this. This is a way we are kind and gentle with ourselves. Gary

 

Robin, I noticed you said "intermittent
rain". I'm more optimistic, when we
have intermittent sun! I enjoyed the
fog over the ocean, instead of rain. It
had an eerie, mysterious effect. So glad
your daughter is getting the jeep ready.
An aquarium is a great present,& so
calming for everyone. I remember one
in a doctor's waiting room, which took
away worries for a while. Lou

 

Sending everyone hugs and wishes for comfort and peace, been MIA for a little while. Lurking in the background - working through all these feelings of almost 2 months now without the love of my life, Rita

 

I want to leave a positive quote to follow up on the so sad one previously left - had a really bad day today - but I thought of all of us here on GIC when I ran across this:



Thank you all for being here and blessing each other with comfort and support - we are so lucky to have found such a wonderful group of friends that help each other every day on good days and even the very bad....Hugs and don't forget that some days it's perfectly OK to just Breathe and shed a few tears - there are others out here breathing and crying with you, like me, Rita

 

Rita, thank you for this heartbreaking
quote. It captures the raw emotions all of
us have felt: after 2 months, 1 year, 2
years, etc. After almost 3 & a half years
since Linda's death, I miss her every day.
As I've said here before, how could I not,
after 25 years of marriage? But, I agree
with a recent comment by Karen: It
does get better. Karen invented "Mr.
Grief", who cruelly visits us without
warning. Recently, while watching a
weather report about "intermittent" sun
& rain, I came up with the phrase ,
intermittent grief. I missed you, Rita.
You're a kind woman, & it's good to see
you back on here. Thank you for attaching
"LIKE' to our posts, so we know you're
still with us. God Bless you. Lou

 

Rita, I agree with you that some days it's
okay to just breathe. I was walking home
today, and I stopped, sat on a bench ,
just looking at & listening to the ocean
waves. I feel blessed to live by the sea.
But other Grief Warriors could do the
same, by a lake, a river, in the woods,
or in a quiet park. Lou

 

P.S. Sorry for repeating myself, Rita, I just
woke up, at my usual 6am, and noticed
that you put "LIKE" to my "intermittent"
grief idea, and to the fact that I sat on a
bench today, looking out to sea. It looks
like you were up in the middle of the
night. I hope you can take naps & rest.
Lou

 

Happy Friday, GWs
I’m so blessed by each and every one of you.
Commenters, posters, likers, lurkers, grievers, witnessers.
Every one of us adds energy to the work of another in learning to navigate grief just through our presence.
~B

 

Your message covers all. Thank you.

 

Bernadine, I agree with Karen, as
usual. Excellent quote. I chuckled at
"lurkers", a word Rita used recently to describe herself. I welcomed a new
widow, from Alabama, just now. Her
young husband died in Feb,& she could
use our help. Lou

 

I saw Rita’s description after I posted, we must have been on the same wavelength
I replied to Kelly just now as well, her plea “tell me this gets easier” really struck me.
I’ve witnessed here how unexpected loss really shakes your life up if we’re not prepared.
There’s so much to do in those first few months.
For me, thankfully, I at least had some things handled, information written down, notes to refer to when it was hard to think.
I felt your absence earlier this week, Lou. Glad you’re catching up, having a rest by the sea.
~B