Grief quotes of the day

Hey how are you? I agree with Lou. One size definitely doesn't fit with everyone. We all grieve differently. You really answered your own question when you said you not ready. No one can make you be ready to make big decisions such as moving or going through anything. You'll no.when you are ready. So go at your own pace. Take care!

 

For in grief nothing "Stays put". One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. And I'm going in circles or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am going up or down it? How often will the vast emptiness atonish me like a complete worthy and make say, "I never realized my loss till this moment"? The same leg is cut off time after time" - S.C. Lewis.

 

Thank you Gary. I joined a meet up group too. It is hard to date and expect the same compassion shown to me by my late husband. I have to remember I am single. Lorry

 

Lou, aren't you glad you don't have to pay gas prices? Also, has the taxi fees gone up? My road to my house is winding other wise I would buy a bike with a big basket.

People ask me, "where is Jack". That question always brings tears when I say he passed away. The looks on their faces are of shock because the last time they saw him he was healthy and strong. He had a personality that everyone loved. You know part of me is still in shock, it just sucks.

 

“i still believe in stars during the day
I still believe in daytime as I sleep
i still believe in winter in the heat of summer sun
I still believe in love as i grieve”
Hollie McNish

 

Thank you, Nicole, for quoting me to
Helena. I've been out of it lately, and
sleeping a lot. Winter has not let go of its'
grip in the Northeast. We had a tease of
sunny, 50s temps, and everyone was
smiling, including me. Then, the temps
dropped dramatically, making me depressed, wondering if spring would ever
come. It's better this am, and I'm catching
up on GIC. I just quoted Sinatra's song,
Cycles, to Helena. It captures my feelings.
Lou

 

• " The spring wakes us, nurtures us and revitalizes us. How often does spring come? If you are a prisoner of a calendar, it comes once a year. If you are creating authentic power, it comes frequently, or very frequently".
• "It was such a spring day as breathes into a man an ineffatable yearning, a paintful sweetness, a longing that makes him stand motionless looking at the leaves or grass, and fling out his arms to embrace he knows not what".

 

Hello Lorry. I was talking to (Laura) my therapist a couple weeks ago about relationships. All Laura’s clients are trying to recover from grief. Laura said half of her clients start dating again 6 months after their loss. And most of them are seeking companionship. We do what is right for us. My older brother Lou and I are in the same boat in regards to having low moods. Thanks for posting the Sinatra lyrics older brother. The last 2 days I have felt uniquely different. I can never explain why. I’m wondering if it’s the second moon? But when it happens I isolate more. The meetings I’ve been going to lately haven’t given me a lift like usual. Other than TGW I have 4 people I can tell how I’m feeling. in order not to burn them out hearing my struggles I isolate. I’m not giving up. I know this too shall pass. I’ll keep stumbling forward while trying to stay upright. Today will be my fourth consecutive day of walking outside. I made it through the grocery store today ok too. I think I need to make a gratitude list. Take care. Gary

 

Karen, I didn't see your message until
this am. I've been depressed lately bc
it's still cold. I've been sleeping more than
usual. Hope April will finally bring 50s
temps. We were teased with that ,one
sunny Sunday, but it dropped to 30s now.
As a senior, I can take a bus to a nearby
small city, from my even smaller town.
It's only 60 cents.We also have a special
van ride for local medical appointments.
I rarely take a cab, but, when I do, I
have a senior rate. There should be SOME
benefit for an "older" guy like me. I'm so
sorry Mr. Grief won't leave you alone
lately. Hope spring will be better for all
TGW. Lou

 

The loneliness is definitely one of the biggest part of going through the grief. Its good to get out and do things with friends if possible but I don't think we'll ever feel complete again because we lost big part of us. We'll get stronger to deal with it though. I have my kids to keep.me busy but I too miss that companionship when I get off work and at night. Especially at night! Its good to have somewhere to come to though where others understand what you feeling. We'll continue to help each other through.

 

Thank you for your warm message, Gary.
I've been so out of it, that when you
mentioned your "older brother Lou",
I didn't realize you meant me. Duh. I'm
glad you liked the Sinatra lines. I believe
he had manic depression, like I do. He
self medicated with "booze & broads".
I think he was lonely, deep down, and
could be depressed. When he was with his
pals, like Dean Martin & Sammy Davis, Jr.,
he came alive, like I do with my friends.
As I've said before, when Linda became
ill, she made me promise to try to be
happy, if anything happened to her. She
didn't want me to live the rest of my
life alone. I'm trying to be grateful to
God for being alive, bc as Sinatra sang,
"life is meant for living". If I do meet
another woman, she would have to have
a sense of humor like Linda's. Thank you
for answering Lorry. I did, too. Lou

 

Nicole, I read somewhere that many
widows & widowers feel they are
" cheating" on their late spouses, if they
date. A year after my wife died, I was
drinking more, out of loneliness, grief,
& depression. I met a woman in a bar.
She seemed interested in me, but even
though my judgement was clouded with
alcohol, I knew this wouldn't work. I gave
up drinking 2 years after Linda died, bc I
was MORE depressed. Linda & I met when
we were sober. I'd like to be clear eyed if I
were to have a relationship again. I'm glad
Lorry, Gary, you, & other GW are talking
about this important subject. Thank you.
Lou

 

You've accomplished alot and I'm sure Linda is smiling down on you. Ive been asked so many times if I'd date again. People think I'm crazy when I say its the last thing on my mind. I loved/ still love Gant with all my heart. That love will forever live on in my heart and in my kids. My focus is raising them so I don't have a desire to do anything else but raise them like me and Gant would be doing if he was here. I see your love for Linda in every message that you mention her in. The love that all of us have for our spouses will live on forever. If or when any of us decide that someone else is worthy to get even a pinch of that love I'm sure it'll be beautiful to see through clear eyes.

 

Thank you, Nicole. I choked up this am
when I read your comment : "I see your
love for Linda in every message that you
mention her in", and that "Linda is
smiling down " on me. I felt her
smile, when a few of my friends had an
impromptu celebration of her life, &
raised a glass ( a non alcoholic one for
me) , in a toast to Linda. I recounted
some of the funny things she said. I
understand why you choose not to date,
& want to focus on raising your children.
You're still young & you can wait. I like
your phrase, a "pinch of that love". I'm
happy to see that brother Gary is
listening to us, by attaching a "LIKE"
to our comments, He is wrestling with
this topic, as I am. Lou

 

As we grief, we have a few moments without Mr Grief tormenting us, but if the weather is rainy and gloomy like today in my area, grieving is worse for me, then I say what's the point to be here!, I become negative, I can't do anything, I know I'm depressed!!

 

I'm sorry Mr. Grief is knocking on your door today. After the rain there will be a rainbow at the end of those clouds. Hopefully Mr. Grief will be washed away then. Even though its a rough day know that we love you. Your may not see your purpose at this moment but you definitely have one. You grace us all with quotes and we appreciate it. Hold your head up and take some deep breaths. This too shall pass. Praying for your strength.

 

Good morning Helena. The dark dull days have a very negative effect on my mood also. With Mr Grief hanging around it can be unbearable. I watch the weather and try to have something planned on these days. Today I will work on some craft projects. That offers some temporary relief from Mr Grief. I’ve texted several friends this morning also. Sometimes I have to force myself to do something. I have to engage my brain in something or it will be a long sad day. The book I’m reading said hope is not just a feeling but an action too. They defined Hope as having goals, realizing the resources to get those goals, and being confident in accomplishing them. It used an example; I know where I want to go, I know how to get there knowing there will be setbacks and frustrations along the way, but I can do this. I’m no where near that. But it does offer us empowerment. I’m frustrated about the New York times article regarding grief that last over a year being a mental illness. Also the last 2 daily reflections promote expressing grief. Does anyone else get tired of expressing their grief? I know we have to feel to heal. Will somebody please give us a break. Nicole said it best, we love you. We are grateful you are a grief warrior among TGW. Gary

 

Thanks Gary for your possitive words and at least today you have some projects to keep you busy.
I just don't understand how I can survive this unsettling horrifying reality that I am alone!!! The only people that understand our grieving are TGW like yourself, family and friends conforting words are empty words, I would prefer they stay quiet. Today is one of the worse days that I have. I though that as time passes I will accept this reality, the only reality is that I'm alone, and will be alone for long long time,
I hope tomorrow will be a better day....

 

Thanks for your conforting words!! Yes this will pass, perhaps tomorrow is another day and I will be strong.