Grief quotes of the day

Gary,

It's good to "see" you today. It feels like I haven't "talked" to you in ages... I love that you're over the top protective of your "birdy buddies..." Want to "talk" more, but have lots of things on my to do list I want to accomplish today, and seem to have been unable to leave GIC. So, stopping here...

I hope you have at least one reason to LMSO off today, but hopefully more than one...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thank you, Deb. It gives me great
satisfaction to have my phrases adopted
by friends like you. TGW and
intermittent came to me, and I
wanted to share them with the group.
Robin gave us happiness, mixed with
sad , or sadness,mixed with happiness.
Karen gave us Mr. Grief. Gary gave
us Mr. Grief's creepy "amusement
park rides". Bernadine gave us the
idea of a garden, in relation to grief.
George came up with imaginative,
artistic views of the world, with humor,
despite his unbearable pain. My
apologies to other, newer GW, but my
"foggy widower's brain", to borrow one
of your famous phrases, tells me it's time
to walk outside & breathe the fresh air. L

 

Hi Lorry. Grief and aloneness are a double whammy. Especially in the winter with bad weather days. Thank goodness it is starting to warm up. It’s good that you’re dating again. At least you are meeting people whether in person or online. it’s interesting to see how people’s lives have evolved with time. Several times while looking at Facebook widows and widowers site it is a common feeling with people who found another relationship that they still felt terribly alone. I’m not ready for dating yet. I have medical issues to be resolved. I feel like damaged goods now and won’t deceive any one. I was looking at my text messages and noticed how short the list friends and family have gotten. I think we all feel the horrible feeling of aloneness. My brother told me about a “meet up” site where people get together and go bowling or to the park or whatever in a group. There are no active groups like that here. Soon I’ll be doing volunteer work with several people I really enjoy being with. Until then I have to engage my mind in some type of activity. Whether it is an outside activity or inside working on crafting or playing the staying sharp games on aarp.org. Glad you’re still with us Lorry. Gary

 

And I think Deb came up with "Roller Coaster Ride". If I'm not correct, correct me.

 

Yes, Gary I think aloneness is on the top of the list or maybe the very top. Aloneness I find neck and neck with grief, they must be related.

You seem to be pursuing some positive ideas here and volunteering may just be the road to healing.

 

I think the driving force behind GIC is really amazing.
The one place being alone in a crowd doesn’t feel alone is here.
With others who share, in one way or another, our particular losses.
In moments where I really miss Kenn I can jump on and hear you all chatting about your lives.
The walks and books, the poetry and tears. Successes and regrets. It just helps somehow.
Thank you GWs for being alive. We Are living. We are learning a new living.
Living without our beloveds, sometimes just staying upright or stumbling forward but we’re alive.
~B

 

Karen, I read a Center for Loss quote
that there's a difference between
" aloneness" and loneliness. I've had
both. After Linda died, I had extreme
bereavement & loneliness. I still get
lonely, miss Linda every morning and
every night. But, there are times when I
need "alone "time. I like to laugh with my
friends at times, but other times I need
to be in " exile" like a Center for Loss
quote said recently. For me, it's staring
silently at the ocean waves. For others on
GIC, it's in a garden, or forest, or by a
river or lake, or even in a quiet room of
one's house. or apartment. A place for
contemplation is essential for healing. L

 

B, I appreciate this post. This just hit my heart and so true. We're a family of friends. Yes, it helps to chat about daily lives and it does help somehow.

 

Bless you for your comment about our
close friendships on GIC, Bernadine. It is
so comforting that we can get on GIC,
when the spirit moves, and someone
will usually answer. Even if no one does,
it is a relief to unburden our grief. Lou

 

You're right there's a difference. For me aloneness means lonely and maybe that will change someday.

 

Karen, I think both Deb & I came up
with the roller coaster ride of grief, but
Gary expanded it to Mr. Grief's ( your
phrase) "amusement park". Lou

 

Grief is like a glitter
You can throw a handfull of it in the air, but when you try to clean it up you will never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked in the corners, it will always be there.....somewhere.

 

Nice walk with Maggie.
The neighborhood feels different at dusk. Lights coming on, owls and distant voices.
Popcorn, music, puppy crashed on the floor.
Kenn should be here. Maybe he is.
~B

 

He is.

 

Thank you.

 

This is so true! What a great analogy. That’s one I’ve never thought. And glitter is so annoying in that way. The grief is always there.

 

Ron was protective of all our birds too. I keep his feeder full and water for baths and drinking. Their singing has been waking me each morning. Love it! Anxiously awaiting the hummers.

 

I agree with Karen. Kenn had taken the form of the owl calling to you last night B. I just got back from a long walk in the woods. I had been cooped up inside for five straight days. What a relief it was to get outside. I walked the special place where Cheryl found her first antler last year. A red bellied woodpecker was calling from the same place Cheryl and I heard it the last time. Could it be? Right here. Right now! I had a lot of good memories but some sad. The yin and Yang of grief. Some of Cheryl’s daffodils froze last night. I can’t save everything. I’m ordering 12 for forsythias hedges to plant where we removed 11 dying red pines last year. Cheryl and I were going to do that last year but we couldn’t find what we wanted. And the band played on. Gary

 

Thank you, Gary.
I think you’re right, the earth and her creatures are messengers, liaisons, the owl, the woodpecker.
Maggie and I went up the columbia river today. Near the docks where little boats put in. The water fowl, lapping of the water on the shore line below, it feels like Kenn is so near.

Sorry about the daffs, might not be comforting now but they will be back. Aren’t bulbs amazing little things…. We might be past danger of frost here a couple of weeks early. Soil temp is warm enough that I put seeds in, told them to huddle down just a little while before pushing towards the light. I hope they listen.
~B

 

I was reading a poem by William Wordsworth and I would to share with you the first paragraph.

"I wonder lonely as a cloud
that floats on high over vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of goden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breze"