Grief & Laughter. Have you laughed today, yesterday or in the past?

Karen,

I'm glad this fun memory made you laugh. Laughter is one thing we can NEVER!!! get enough of, TUTTAM!!! (I think I"m now officially stuck on TUTTAM, lol)

As always, sending you and Rambo lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Helena,

Of course!!! You definitely have my permission to use TUTTAM as much as you want, lol... However, I think at this point it's grown so stale, that if it was a stale piece of bread, I would have broken a tooth attempting to take a bite out of it... Still, I can't seem to stop using it in my messages, lol!!! Glad you like it, lol...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

P.S. Sorry... I got a bit carried away with lol...

 

Haaaaa! grown stale.

 

Karen,

I hate to be the picture of doom and gloom, but I haven't felt joy. I can laugh which makes me believe better days are ahead, but I can't say I've laughed without having that bittersweet feeling... I've had some fun moments, especially when I traveled with my youngest son during Christmas, but joy... I'm not there (yet).

On April 11th at 3:45 a.m., Bob will have been dead for 11 months. I can say that life has gotten easier for me, I'm no longer fearful of having to evacuate during the hurricane season which will officially begin at the end of June, of my car breaking down on a deserted road, etc, etc., etc.... Although I'm concerned about the economy and the impact it's having on my finances, I don't stress out over it as I would have prior to Bob's death. I don't get upset easily over anything anymore.

It takes a lot to make me angry. Life is too short. Being angry, stressed out, and worried, just isn't worth it. I've become a much calmer person and feel much more capable of taking care of myself. The way I see things, NOTHING!!!, and I mean ABSOLUTELY!!! NOTHING!!!, can compare..., or even come close to..., the total heartbreak of watching Bob slowly whither away..., become the shell of the man who he once was... Worst of all, having had to go through the last 24 hours of his life, watching him suffer..., unable to get the nurses, ER doctor (I'm being over the top nice referring to them as nurses and a physician!!!, TUTTAM!!!) to do even the smallest things to make Bob comfortable. Being so out of control to help Bob..., the one true love of my life..., when he needed me the most..., was the very worst feeling I've ever had...TUTTAM!!!

My belief in God has strengthened since Bob's passing. However there was a time, right after Bob died, when I questioned God. Getting even more off topic than I already have, so will stop here (for now.)

Thank you for asking this question. I'm interested in finding out how others feel about joy.

As always, sending you and Rambo lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Karen,

I'm glad if this made you laugh... I try to find ways to "spice" up life a bit. I HATE!!! feeling so sad..., so much of the time!!!, TUTTAM!!!

 

Bernadine,

So many of my very favorite, special memories are those "had to be there" kind of moments...

Hope you and Maggie have had at least one reason to LMSO today/tonight, but hopefully more...

As always, sending you and Maggie lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Karen,

I talk to Bob as though he is here all the time too... I feel Bob's presence, and while it is comforting, it still SUCKS!!!

I smiled when I read, that even though joy is fleeting, you still are able to experience it. Gives me hope for myself, for everyone else too. Thank you so much for starting this conversation and sharing your feelings...

Sending you and Rambo lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thanks Deb! I really like your invented word, it makes me smile and also if I'm angry TUTTAM, TUTTAM! this could or should be added to the Enghish Language...!

 

Nick is a really good friend of mine. Nick has been very supporting and I feel comfortable mourning around him. I just spent 5 hours visiting with Nick outside today. We exchange texts a lot. I would receive a text from Nick and instead of asking what did you mean? I started sending Nick GIFs that read “Wat”. In the “Wat” category there are GIFs with either a man woman child or animal with a confused look on their face. At the top of the page it reads “Wat”. After sending Nick a dozen or so “Wats” Nick responded WTF is Wat? That’s the best I can do for now Karen. Gary

 

Gary, that's funny! WAT...Today I laugh, maybe I have a funny sence of humor. Helena

 

Well, had to think of something funny. I've been having a hard time dealing with finances, really hard time. So I wrote my brother-in-law who is a banker my problems -- as he knows what I've been going through for a year. His sense of humor is so funny, he said, Sis, "Life is bowl of cherries". I told him if you send me cherries I'll know that's my life.
He did help me thou. Oh well, I did have a small laugh over that comment.

 

I like that. "Wat". funny.

 

Helena,

I can't live in a "beige" world... I don't believe I'm still here just to be miserable for the rest of my life. Although I've changed so much since Bob's death, I've been told by friends and family, that I'm still "me," in many ways. "TUTTAM!!!" is something I would have created even if Bob were still here with me. It's a good feeling, underneath all this sadness..., to know that I haven't changed so much that I'm no longer recognizable to my friends and family, and even to myself. Bob and I had a fun marriage, always made each other laugh every day... Those "inside" jokes, the ones Bob and I shared privately, the ones no one could ever "get", except for the two of us, always made us laugh the hardest. I miss Bob's wonderful sense of humor every single day... I MISS!!! Bob so very much..., TUTTAM!!!

Sadly, I know even if I manage to create a full, interesting life again, no matter how many activities I might be involved in, no matter how many friends I might make, no matter how often I visit with my children, I'll always be lonely... There's a part of me that CANNOT!!! be filled, that will ALWAYS!!! be empty..., without Bob, beside me..., navigating this world..., making sense of it all..., together. I need a tissue...

I hope today you will have at least one reason to LMSO, but hopefully!!! many more...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Dear Deb, thanks a lot for your hugs and your best wishes for all of us!
Reading your correspondence, I have to reach to my box of tissues bc I feel that you are talking for me, I miss my Geoff like you miss Bob, the sense of humor and so many big and little things. I know that grieving is healing and we never stop loving Bob and Geoff, but like you said no matter how often you visit the children and the different activities you have, we are alone!! TUTTAM, TUTTAM!!! Now I need more tissues, sending you many many hugs, calm and peace. Helena

 

I hear you Deb. "I'm still "me." I like that comment. We all will live with profound sadness missing our soulmate as we go forward, still being us.

 

I also like the comment "I'm still me". But that me is hard to acknowledge as for so long it was "we" not "me" . I have tried to create a new version of life but having a difficult time. It has been several years and I still have not conquered the loneliness of being alone. HUGS to all of you and may you find some peace in each day.

 

Helena,

Sending you the BIGGEST hug... I now buy tissues by the case from my local warehouse shopping club. I think Lou once said that the "whoever owns Kleenex should really appreciate all of us," or something similar to this, hard to remember, especially with this foggy widow brain!!! It's so true!!!, TUTTAM!!

Thank you for those hugs and good wishes too... Hugs are another one of those things, I'll NEVER!!! take for granted again!!! (too stale for even me to toss it in again, lol...)

Sending zillions more hugs your way, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Ceee,

I don't think we've "met" before. As much as I wish we NEVER!!! had to "meet," it's nice to have a chance to "talk" to you. Both of our husbands' died after suffering from cancer. It SUCKED!!!, TU!!! watching Bob, my husband, s l o w l y... become the shell of the man who he once was, not only did his appearance drastically change over the years, but the absolute worst!!!, was toward the end of his life, when he was beginning to lose his "personality," most likely caused by Parkinson's related dementia. I can only imagine what you had to endure... It all SUCKS!!!

The one year anniversary of Bob's death will be at 3:45 a.m. on April 11th. I think I read your husband died two years ago. I can't even begin to imagine how I'm going to feel in another year... I miss Bob more and more with each day that goes by... It's a kind of loneliness that can NEVER!!! be "fixed..." There is NO!!! way I can even remotely imagine how you must feel after having had to live through this total heartbreak for two years...

Stopping here (for now.) I've been MIA and have lots of catching up to do, but I think it's going to take me a couple of days... I just wanted to respond to you, and hope that now that we've "met," we'll get to "know" each other much better.

Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

I spend my days with my two companions, Samy my 17th yrs old cat sitted to my left and Yogy my 16 yrs old dog to my right, they sense that my Geoff is gone and after 46 days they are not waiting for him anymore....more tears.
From the first moment I believed Geoff is worth every teardroop as each represents a special time we had together. We were married 50 yrs and it means a lot of tears that I do not mind letting out. He will always be worth it as long as I remain here.
Helena