Feeling Like I Am In Limbo And Lonely

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years ofDe

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Lin
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name, bc he was a tortured soul, like I
was, when Linda died suddenly in front of
me. My name is Lou
Click to expand...

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name,bc he was a tortured soul, like I was
when Linda died suddenly in front of me.
My name is Lou.

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name, bc he was a tortured soul, like I
was, when Linda died suddenly in front
of me. My name is Lou.

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name, bc he was a tortured soul, like I
was, when Linda died suddenly in front
of me. My name is Lou.

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name, bc he was a tortured soul, like I
was,when Linda died suddenly in front
of me. My name is Lou. I'm not sure why
my reply to you was repeated several
times! Lou

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I'm not sure why my reply to
you was repeated several times! Lou
...

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name, bc he was a tortured soul, as I was,
after Linda died suddenly in front of me.
Lou

Debra M · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, thank you so much for reaching
out to me this morning, & for your very
kind condolences for the death of my
wife, Linda. I am so sorry about your
husband's death, after 40 years of
marriage. Linda went into a rehab center
in a nursing home for physical therapy
while she battled breast cancer & a pain
in her back. I would have to ask the
nurse on duty, for more pain medicine.
One day, Linda collapsed in front of me,
& told me to push the button for help.
Those words were the last words she ever
said to me. I ran down the hall, yelling for
help, bc the nurse had left her station.
The last I saw of Linda, the nurses were
lifting her off the floor, on to her wheelchair. I sat in the front of the bldg,
sobbing uncontrollably, bc in my heart,
I knew it was over, the awkward, twisted
way she fell, & that I was helpless to save
her. Her favorite nurse, also in her 60s,
came over & quietly told me that Linda
had no pulse, & the rescue squad was
trying to revive her on way to the ER. I
followed in another ambulance. The
driver wanted to talk with me, but I
said no. When I arrived at the hospital,
the ER doctor told me what I instinctively
knew: Linda was dead on arrival. I was
numb, a zombie, in a state of shock. I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
Linda out of my mind. I went to a grief
counselor to deal with my extreme
bereavement & guilt that I couldn't
save Linda. After many sessions, she
suggested The Widower's Notebook, a
memoir, by Jonathan Santlofer. I read the
first few pages, but had to put it away, bc
I was weeping. His story was so similar to
mine. His wife, Joy, of 40 years of marriage,
died suddenly in front of him. A few
weeks, went by & I started the book again,
in the morning, over coffee, not at bedtime.
After that horrific first chapter, I couldn't
put the book down, bc he dealt with the
ups & downs of their marriage. He did it
with honesty & humor about their love
for each other. I thanked my counselor for
the book. Linda died over 3 years ago, but
I didn't join this wonderful site with kind
people like you, until July of this year. I
woke up in the middle of the night, bc I
had a dream that I was hugging Linda
tightly so she wouldn't let go. I was wide
awake, & decided to get on GIC, & was
pleased to see that you reached out to me,
as well as Helena. I will try to "talk" with
her and Jen tomorrow. May I ask your husband's name? It helps me to say
Linda's name. I see that you live in
California & love the beach. I live on the
northern coast of Massachusetts. Linda &
I grew up in different places, but both of
us were by the sea. After living inland.
I'm glad we were able to retire here, &
Linda could see the ocean one more time
before she became ill. Hope you stay on
Grief in Common, which has been a
lifesaver for me & other members. Lou
Click to expand...

Good morning, Lou
And thank you so much for your kindness and your condolences. And what happened to Linda is truly heartbreaking. And once again, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know that the grief and bereavement is beyond so extremely painful. I know how it felt to you to when you couldn't get that last image of Linda out of your mind, bc that is what I'm going through, I just can't get the last image of Keith on the ground where he collapsed outside out of my mind... and I cry so many, many times a day, and then after crying, I feel so physically and emotionally drained that all I want to do is stay in bed, which I know that I can't do bc I have so many things that have to be done. And I am planning to get a copy of the "Widower's notebook" Jelena mentioned it to me, and I'm thinking reading it would be of some help to me...
And my husband's name is Keith. And oh, yes, I love the beach, Keith did as well, and so does our children. And like you and Linda, we both grew up in different places, I grew up in Illinois, and he grew up here in California. And I have been to Massachusetts, my older sister lived there, and I thought it was so beautiful. And I think it would be a really nice place to retire, especially by the sea. And it is so good that Linda was able to see the ocean before she became ill. You were a very loving, caring, nurturing husband to her, I am gathering that just by what you have written, and she was very fortunate to have you for her husband. And I can't thank you enough for reaching out to me, as I am going through such an extremely painful, beyond so very difficult time in my life. And it just feels like my heart is shattered in so many pieces that I don't know how I will ever keep going. Keith was and always will be the love of my life. And I feel like half of me died with him. We have two daughters, ages 13 and 17. And I have to, I just have to keep going for both of them... and I will stay on Grief in Common, bc there are members here that are so kind and so caring like yourself. Take care always
Debra

Debra M · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

P.S. Debra, I chose Van Gogh as my user
name, bc he was a tortured soul, like I
was, when Linda died suddenly in front
of me. My name is Lou.
Click to expand...

And I certainly understand why you chose Van Gogh, and thank you so very much again for reaching out to me, Lou.

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

grief
Click to expand...

K

Debra M said: ↑

Good morning, Lou
And thank you so much for your kindness and your condolences. And what happened to Linda is truly heartbreaking. And once again, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know that the grief and bereavement is beyond so extremely painful. I know how it felt to you to when you couldn't get that last image of Linda out of your mind, bc that is what I'm going through, I just can't get the last image of Keith on the ground where he collapsed outside out of my mind... and I cry so many, many times a day, and then after crying, I feel so physically and emotionally drained that all I want to do is stay in bed, which I know that I can't do bc I have so many things that have to be done. And I am planning to get a copy of the "Widower's notebook" Jelena mentioned it to me, and I'm thinking reading it would be of some help to me...
And my husband's name is Keith. And oh, yes, I love the beach, Keith did as well, and so does our children. And like you and Linda, we both grew up in different places, I grew up in Illinois, and he grew up here in California. And I have been to Massachusetts, my older sister lived there, and I thought it was so beautiful. And I think it would be a really nice place to retire, especially by the sea. And it is so good that Linda was able to see the ocean before she became ill. You were a very loving, caring, nurturing husband to her, I am gathering that just by what you have written, and she was very fortunate to have you for her husband. And I can't thank you enough for reaching out to me, as I am going through such an extremely painful, beyond so very difficult time in my life. And it just feels like my heart is shattered in so many pieces that I don't know how I will ever keep going. Keith was and always will be the love of my life. And I feel like half of me died with him. We have two daughters, ages 13 and 17. And I have to, I just have to keep going for both of them... and I will stay on Grief in Common, bc there are members here that are so kind and so caring like yourself. Take care always
Debra
Click to expand...

Debra, so very glad to hear from you just
now. I'm honored that you told me Keith's
name, & that you will read Jonathan's
book. I emailed him to thank him for his
amazing book. & how close our stories
were. He surprised me by emailing
back 2 days later, with a warm , very
personal message. I was on his email
list & was glad to see that he's on another
book tour,this time with an international
mystery thriller, which he used to write
before Joy died. I suggested his book to
Grief in Common members, & many have
bought the book. I have itby my bed, &
reread some of the more amusing
chapters. I also recommended Tom
Zuba's inspiring book, Permission to
Mourn. He was suicidal over the deaths
of his wife, their baby girl, & young son.
from different illnesses. But, what kept
him going , was caring for his 2 other
sons. Thank God that Tom chose to live,
& give help to all mourners , through
his books & lectures,which are on You
Tube. So happy you will stay on GIC. I
looked back & saw that you kindly
replied to me when I first joined GIC at
the end of July, 2021. I was out of it then,
& referred to myself as "Van"!! Lou

Debra M said: ↑

Good morning, Lou
And thank you so much for your kindness and your condolences. And what happened to Linda is truly heartbreaking. And once again, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know that the grief and bereavement is beyond so extremely painful. I know how it felt to you to when you couldn't get that last image of Linda out of your mind, bc that is what I'm going through, I just can't get the last image of Keith on the ground where he collapsed outside out of my mind... and I cry so many, many times a day, and then after crying, I feel so physically and emotionally drained that all I want to do is stay in bed, which I know that I can't do bc I have so many things that have to be done. And I am planning to get a copy of the "Widower's notebook" Jelena mentioned it to me, and I'm thinking reading it would be of some help to me...
And my husband's name is Keith. And oh, yes, I love the beach, Keith did as well, and so does our children. And like you and Linda, we both grew up in different places, I grew up in Illinois, and he grew up here in California. And I have been to Massachusetts, my older sister lived there, and I thought it was so beautiful. And I think it would be a really nice place to retire, especially by the sea. And it is so good that Linda was able to see the ocean before she became ill. You were a very loving, caring, nurturing husband to her, I am gathering that just by what you have written, and she was very fortunate to have you for her husband. And I can't thank you enough for reaching out to me, as I am going through such an extremely painful, beyond so very difficult time in my life. And it just feels like my heart is shattered in so many pieces that I don't know how I will ever keep going. Keith was and always will be the love of my life. And I feel like half of me died with him. We have two daughters, ages 13 and 17. And I have to, I just have to keep going for both of them... and I will stay on Grief in Common, bc there are members here that are so kind and so caring like yourself. Take care always
Debra
Click to expand...

Debra M · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

K

Thank you so very much for your reply, Lou. And I'm so looking forward to reading Jonathan's book. And I think it was so good that he reached out to you by email with a warm, very personal message. And want happened to Tom Zuba is beyond so extremely devastating as well!! And I'm so glad that he chose to live and give help to all mourners, through his books and lectures. And I initially just reached out to you last night, so I'm thinking that you must be thinking of the other member here? DEB 321? But I'm so glad that I did reach out to you, and I will be staying on GIC. And I certainly understand why you were out of it & referred to yourself as "Van". I am having an extremely difficult day, crying so much, and just trying to get through every day... and I will be keeping you as well the other GIC members here on my thoughts...

Debra, so very glad to hear from you just
now. I'm honored that you told me Keith's
name, & that you will read Jonathan's
book. I emailed him to thank him for his
amazing book. & how close our stories
were. He surprised me by emailing
back 2 days later, with a warm , very
personal message. I was on his email
list & was glad to see that he's on another
book tour,this time with an international
mystery thriller, which he used to write
before Joy died. I suggested his book to
Grief in Common members, & many have
bought the book. I have itby my bed, &
reread some of the more amusing
chapters. I also recommended Tom
Zuba's inspiring book, Permission to
Mourn. He was suicidal over the deaths
of his wife, their baby girl, & young son.
from different illnesses. But, what kept
him going , was caring for his 2 other
sons. Thank God that Tom chose to live,
& give help to all mourners , through
his books & lectures,which are on You
Tube. So happy you will stay on GIC. I
looked back & saw that you kindly
replied to me when I first joined GIC at
the end of July, 2021. I was out of it then,
& referred to myself as "Van"!! Lou
Click to expand...

Van Gogh · Feb 21, 2022

Debra,so sorry you're having a tough day.
Are you still able to go to the beach? I know it would be "bittersweet",as our
friend,Deb, says, but maybe someone
could go with you. I feel blessed to see
the ocean every day. I even sit on the
same bench Linda & I sat on, looking out
to sea. Even though she is not next to
me physically, I feel her spiritual
presence. I walk on the Neck,a
promenade of shops, restaurants, &
art galleries, & have made friends with
some of the owners, who know I'm a
widower, but never knew Linda.The
highest compliment I can give to my
friends, is that Linda would have liked
them. Ironically, she would've loved the
kind people on GIC, even more. Lou

Debra M · Feb 21, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra,so sorry you're having a tough day.
Are you still able to go to the beach? I know it would be "bittersweet",as our
friend,Deb, says, but maybe someone
could go with you. I feel blessed to see
the ocean every day. I even sit on the
same bench Linda & I sat on, looking out
to sea. Even though she is not next to
me physically, I feel her spiritual
presence. I walk on the Neck,a
promenade of shops, restaurants, &
art galleries, & have made friends with
some of the owners, who know I'm a
widower, but never knew Linda.The
highest compliment I can give to my
friends, is that Linda would have liked
them. Ironically, she would've loved the
kind people on GIC, even more. Lou
Click to expand...

Hi Lou, and thank you so much for your kindness, I just have to take one day at a time, I feel so emotionally and physically drained... and unfortunately, I am not able to go to the beach because it is so far away, and I don't drive, but I'm thinking that I may be able to take some busses, but that would have to be further down the line after I get everything handled that I need to do. And I agree that it would be "bittersweet". But at the same time, I know our kids would enjoy it. And I do feel like yes, you are so blessed to see the ocean every day, it is so beautiful there, and it is so good that you can feel Linda's spiritual presence, and there are shops, restaurants, and art galleries ... and especially that you have made friends with the owners that you know that Linda would have liked. And although ironically Linda would have loved the kind people on GIC, even more, it is so good that we are here to support each other...

lredditt · Mar 18, 2022

Catty said: ↑

I lost my husband to stomach cancer in Feb. 2019. I feel like I have been proactive in dealing with my grief. I am lonely and I feel like I am in limbo trying to figure out what's next in life. I work a full time day job; therefore, the only free time I have is evenings and weekends. My friends are married and most work full time too. They have their own families. I do go out with my married female friends for lunch or supper on occasion. I have been invited a few times to participate in social events with couple friends. Definitely different now. Even though I feel like a third wheel, I do enjoy the social aspect. I live in a town where there really isn't many places to meet single people. I do not go to clubs or bars. I do make myself go out to eat (not fun alone!). I go to Bible studies at my church when they are at night. I exercise at a gym. I do go to church. I get frustrated when I hear advice of join a club or volunteer. That would be a great option if I was retired. Most clubs and other activities in my area meet during the day. I have looked at social weekend clubs and activities - which most I would have to drive an hour or more - and is an option for the weekend. I have chatted online and I have visited dating sites. I have found with most dating sites that you have to pay in order to really communicate effectively with someone. I have also found with most chat sites and some dating sites that people are fake, scammers, or sexually focused minded. I have never really had a lot of female friends, and it would be nice to have female friends to do things with and talk to. I do miss male companionship. Where do you meet nice respectful single men in their 50's? I feel like I am standing in the middle of a giant circle wondering which direction to walk and the process. My days seem like there is no purpose or direction. I get up, go to work, come home. Weekends I ask myself ok what are you going to do today. Most of the time the answer is I don't know and end up piddling the rest of the day. I don't want the rest of my life to be like that. I feel like I can live alone, but I feel like I am separated from people in general because I am a widow. I hate feeling lonely. I hate the void inside of not having someone to care for and to be cared for by someone. I know my children, my brother, and my friends love me and support me, but it is just all so different. A piece of me is missing. No one can understand that feeling unless they have walked in my shoes. I do try to keep a positive attitude. I do try to remember that God gives me the strength and guidance to walk each day. Lately I have found myself crying and thinking of my late husband when I go to bed. I miss him. I just wish I knew what direction my life is going and had friends/companionship to lessen the loneliness. I know I can do activities alone, but I do not enjoy doing activities alone. It is more enjoyable to have someone to go on vacation with, to go to the movies with, to eat out with, or to call/text with. I am just in limbo and lonely asking when shall this too pass?
Click to expand...

lredditt · Mar 18, 2022

Hi Catty: I feel the same way. I am so lonely on weekends. People ask me when I am going to retire but it would be too lonely just yet. I do date occasionally and have to learn to just enjoy. Surely there is a good man out there? I try to stay busy on the weekends with my 2 acres and teaching online + church but I still have an ache and cry as well. Blessings, Lorry

Van Gogh · Mar 18, 2022

Debra M said: ↑

Hi, My name is Debra, and I just want to say that I'm so sorry that you lost your wife. I know how much that hurts!! As I just lost my husband of 40 years on February 11th. And I too, agree with Longstem and Glego. There is no possible way that I would ever "get over" my husband's death, or just try to "go through" my grief. And no matter how much time passes, I could never even think of being with any one else. Feel free reach out to me anytime...
Click to expand...

Debra, I just looked back at our past talks,
& saw that you put "LIKE" on my post
when I first joined GIC on July of 2021. You
introduced yourself to me on Feb.21,
2022. I was surprised that we started
"talking" less than a month ago, bc it
seems a lot longer bc of our subject
matter--- the deaths of our soulmates,
Linda & Keith. Today, I see we've been
joined by Catty, of Georgia, and Lorry,
of Alabama. They have been on GIC in
the past, & I'm glad they posted today. It's
sunny, about 50 degrees, so I'll be able
to take a long walk to the Neck, and see
my friends. I'm grateful for that, and
hope you are having a good Friday am
in California. Lou

Debra M · Mar 19, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, I just looked back at our past talks,
& saw that you put "LIKE" on my post
when I first joined GIC on July of 2021. You
introduced yourself to me on Feb.21,
2022. I was surprised that we started
"talking" less than a month ago, bc it
seems a lot longer bc of our subject
matter--- the deaths of our soulmates,
Linda & Keith. Today, I see we've been
joined by Catty, of Georgia, and Lorry,
of Alabama. They have been on GIC in
the past, & I'm glad they posted today. It's
sunny, about 50 degrees, so I'll be able
to take a long walk to the Neck, and see
my friends. I'm grateful for that, and
hope you are having a good Friday am
in California. Lou
Click to expand...

Hi Lou, and I'm so sorry for my late reply. I had a very bad day yesterday abd today wasn't much better, and so I didn't even log in to GIC until just now... and I did put LIKE on your post before I introduced myself on Feb 21, bc I could identify with what you had written. And I agree that it does seem like a lot longer than less than a month ago when we first started "talking" bc of the subject matter... and I haven't "met" Catty yet, but I have corresponded with Lotty Lorry. And I'm so glad that your weather was sunny yesterday, although it was in the 50's, and it is so good that you were able to take a long walk to the neck and see your friends! And thank you so much for your kind note, and I'm just taking each day at a time... and hopefully you had a peaceful day today, and you will have a peaceful evening, and you will be in my thoughts.
Take care always,
Debra

Debra M · Mar 19, 2022

Hi Catty, and I just want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. And my heart goes out to you!! And I do know how extremely devastating and emotionally and physically draining it is to experience grief on a daily basis! I lost my husband in February 11,2022. And I'm so glad that you and I both found this site, as there are so many kind, and empathetic and supportive people here. And please feel free to reach out to me anytime...
Take care always,
Debra

Van Gogh · Mar 19, 2022

Debra M said: ↑

Hi Lou, and I'm so sorry for my late reply. I had a very bad day yesterday abd today wasn't much better, and so I didn't even log in to GIC until just now... and I did put LIKE on your post before I introduced myself on Feb 21, bc I could identify with what you had written. And I agree that it does seem like a lot longer than less than a month ago when we first started "talking" bc of the subject matter... and I haven't "met" Catty yet, but I have corresponded with Lotty Lorry. And I'm so glad that your weather was sunny yesterday, although it was in the 50's, and it is so good that you were able to take a long walk to the neck and see your friends! And thank you so much for your kind note, and I'm just taking each day at a time... and hopefully you had a peaceful day today, and you will have a peaceful evening, and you will be in my thoughts.
Take care always,
Debra
Click to expand...

Debra, you never have to apologize for
anything on GIC. All of us are going
through tough times-----but at different
times. I'm sorry that you've had it
particularly rough lately. I try to treat
each day differently, so each day is not
like the one before it, as you once
said. Today was very different from
yesterday. There was a mysterious
dense fog at the end of the Neck, which
was more pleasant than rain. I was in a
quiet mood

Debra M · Mar 20, 2022

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, you never have to apologize for
anything on GIC. All of us are going
through tough times-----but at different
times. I'm sorry that you've had it
particularly rough lately. I try to treat
each day differently, so each day is not
like the one before it, as you once
said. Today was very different from
yesterday. There was a mysterious
dense fog at the end of the Neck, which
was more pleasant than rain. I was in a
quiet mood
Click to expand...

Hi Lou, and thank you so much for your warm reply, as well as your empathy, and your understanding. And it is true that all of us are going through tough times... but at different times. And it is good that you treat each day differently, so each day is not like the one before it. And I remember saying that, and so I do need to try more to make the most of each day by doing more things such as going out shopping with my daughters, or on walks, which does help us to have more peaceful days. And I hope that although today was different from yesterday, that both days were peaceful for you. Where you live sounds so beautiful!! And I agree that fog is actually more pleasant than rain. And it is also good that you were in a quiet mood. And speaking of rain, we did have some rain here this afternoon, and it is also supposed to rain tomorrow... but I would much rather have the rain as opposed to the really hot days during the Summer...
And hopefully you will have a peaceful night's sleep as well as a peaceful day tomorrow...
Debra

Van Gogh said: ↑

Debra, you never have to apologize for
anything on GIC. All of us are going
through tough times-----but at different
times. I'm sorry that you've had it
particularly rough lately. I try to treat
each day differently, so each day is not
like the one before it, as you once
said. Today was very different from
yesterday. There was a mysterious
dense fog at the end of the Neck, which
was more pleasant than rain. I was in a
quiet mood
Click to expand...

Feeling Like I Am In Limbo And Lonely

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member

lredditt Well-Known Member

lredditt Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member

Van Gogh Well-Known Member

Debra M Well-Known Member