Dreams and nightmares

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Daisy171, Apr 17, 2023.

  1. Daisy171

    Daisy171 Well-Known Member

    Last night I had a vivid dream that my husband walked into the room, and he told me that his passing was just a horrible nightmare and hadn't really happened. I said "but we buried you." and he answered that this was just part of the nightmare and everything was okay and then he hugged me. When I woke, I was confused for a moment and thought that maybe his death really was a nightmare and the dream was real and he was here. Of course he wasn't and the dream was a dream and the nightmare of his passing was my reality.
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  2. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Hi Daisy. Dreams are very confusing but that one is beautiful. Hang on to the words “everything is ok” while being hugged. In the book Permission to Mourn by Tom Zuba he says look for signs that our beloved is trying to make contact with us. I was walking out of Cheryl’s bedroom one evening and felt someone standing behind me. My natural reflex hurried me out of the room. Then I realized it was the bedpost that appeared as a person. I went back in and hugged the bedpost knowing my beloved Cheerful Cheryl was paying me a visit. Gary
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  3. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Oh, my God. That bedpost story is
    powerful. Thank you for sharing it with
    Daisy & TGW. I share dreams at the
    widowed persons group....Lou
  4. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Daisy, my heart goes out to you, I had a similar dream, not long ago. My C had come back and he said it had all been a big mistake, we hugged so tightly and cried and he said how relieved and happy he was that he hadn't really left us,after all. Then another time, it was morning and I'm sure I was already awake when I suddenly saw him lying in bed beside me, looking at me. Next thing I knew he was standing up in the corridor, I got up and tried calling my children to come and see, but no voice came out of me, then nothing, I was back in my bed again, alone. I still have my doubts about this particular event, but it was probably just one of those half awake/half asleep very very vivid lifelike dreams. I've always been so skeptical when it comes to spiritualism and the supernatural, "seeing is believing" just like my C, but lately I've become more sensitive and open to discussion. It's a change of ideas I suppose, something that grief does to us. Our minds are working overtime.
  5. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Rose, thank you for sharing that dream of C laying in bed with you. I had a very similar experience. I consider it a visit, but I understand your skepticism and respect it fully. I was the same way. I’ve researched it a little and what brought me to believe is that if these dreams/visits happen and it’s so vivid and real that it’s like it really happened in real life, then it is considered a visit from your loved one. Or if there’s no way of explaining what happened, moved etc. My visit that is similar to yours, it was around 3AM or so, Ron was in bed with me, I asked him to hold me and he did. Then he wasn’t in bed but standing next to the bed looking at me. I asked him to stay and hug me, and we had a conversation and he kissed me. He stayed until I started to fall asleep. Mind you I wasn’t awake during this or asleep, somewhere between. I felt Ron leave and saw him in the hallway. I was so at peace after that and slept well. Words really don’t do justice to what this feels like. But it’s amazing and brings peace if you look at like they’re watching over you, and want you to know. My daughter had a similar experience. She was very sick and I had her staying at my house so I could care for her. One night while she was feeling terribly weak and over all drained she felt her mattress compress. She was sure it was me being with her and checking on her. She opened her eyes and saw her Dad sitting on her bed and felt his hand on her back. She said she felt his love and care immediately. She didn’t talk to him but was able to sleep peacefully the rest of the night. My brother had a visit from Ron too. His was a little more humorous, but that was their relationship. I’d had many visits. Rose I just wanted to share our experiences and of coarse you make your own decisions. Robin
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  6. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Summer, I choked up when I read your
    post to Rose, especially the part of Ron
    visiting your daughter. My experience
    with Linda in my dreams, was quite
    different, and heartbreaking. As I've
    said on GIC, I had "hug dreams" in which
    Linda was lying in bed with me. In the
    dream, I was hugging Linda, but, in
    reality, I was hugging myself upon
    awakening. A worse scenario was when
    I was in dreamland, asking Linda a
    question. When she didn't answer, I cried
    out in anguish, and yelled, "F*CK! SHE'S
    DEAD"! I'm glad I don't have those
    dreams anymore. Now, I dance with
    different women friends and am
    happier, like Linda wanted. Lou Travolta
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  7. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you Lou for commenting on my and my daughters experiences. I’ve had others that give me the message that Ron us with me but in a different way. One was that my 2 children and Ron were going kayaking. The water was rough and giving us trouble getting in our individual kayaks in the water. Ron held them tight for each of us to get in. As we look back waiting for Ron. He disappears floating away in the water, but waving to us. I took it to mean he’s watching over us. But can’t stay with us. It was heartbreaking but also loving. I have experienced many like that. Ron’s helping us but not in the way we would like. I do know of your dreams and I’m sorry they’re not more positive. I wish they were. And I’m so happy for you that you’re in a better place. Ron wants that for me too. To be happy. I can’t get there. I even told him, no promises. He said he knows it will be difficult and said he couldn’t promise me either. But we would each try. That’s the best I can do. My visit when Ron was in bed with me I also felt the bed compress like my daughter did. Maybe that’s what makes us realize Ron’s visiting. Im glad your terrible dreams have stopped. You don’t need that, no one does. Summer.
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  8. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I think witnessing Ron's presence -- not awake nor asleep is the spiritual world. I've been there with Jack not asleep not awake, seems so real. K
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  9. Deborah A.

    Deborah A. Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I’m so happy for you that you have had this experience, but I totally understand how it’s bittersweet, to say the least. Earlier in my journey, I had an incredibly vivid dream that Steve was sitting here, in bed next to me. He looked healthy and young—nothing like he did when he died. I felt him and smelled him and hugged him. I was fully aware that I was dreaming, but my joy was completely overwhelming and unlike anything else I have ever experienced in my life. I woke up crying tears of pain and joy simultaneously. It was so wonderful and so beautiful and so effing hard!! I wanted more, the greedy human that I am.

    I have felt Steve’s hand on my shoulder, his weight in the bed, and his presence so many times that I have lost count. I think I am crazy, but I guess I’m willing to be crazy for just a few moments where I feel like we’re together again, however briefly. It makes me think about a poem written by Emily Dickinson, who writes about being separated by a door ajar that is as vast as oceans are—and the sweet sustenance of despair.
    I could never fully describe how deeply painful this is, or how riven I feel. I understand that complexity of communication with our soulmates across space and time. I also am keenly aware of how crazy I sound, yet I desperately want to have another dream like this. Love is amazing. Love bears all things. Love believes all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things. Even death. Love never fails. Love never dies. Thank you for sharing your beautiful stories! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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  10. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    I'm so moved reading all your experiences that I actually sensed a positive hopeful feeling come over me, an energy so beautiful that I just can't describe. Like I've said before, I've always been so skeptical, even though I grew up Catholic. But since I've also been having these "real-life dreams", I'm beginning to think that perhaps if our loved ones can really contact us, it's probaby only during our half-asleep/half-awake hours that we can actually perceive these phenomenons,and they are not part of our dream world but reality. As if we are able to see these events only with our sub-conscious.
    I can't believe I've come to this turning point, never would have believed I'd start talking like this. Reminds me of the famous poster in Fox Mulder's room of X Files: I want to believe.

    Robin, just like Lou, I had to hold back the tears, especially when reading your account of your daughter's experience.

    A hug to you all.
  11. Deborah A.

    Deborah A. Well-Known Member

    Maybe it’s just desperation, but I have felt the warmth of Steve’s skin, smelled his scent, and experienced his touch in these moments where I was able to reach across the gulf—the enormous barrier between life and the next world.
    Honestly, I truly, desperately want and wish for the opportunity to be able to see and hold my soulmate again. Being able to see, feel and smell him made it incredibly real for me. I’m holding on to these sensory experiences.
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  12. Rose69

    Rose69 Well-Known Member

    Whether it's desperation or something else, Deborah, that is a beautiful, soothing experience. You've made my day, reading your post, first thing in the morning, thank you so much for sharing. Your Steve is with you always.

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