I lost my mother suddenly 8 months ago and lost my husband suddenly 2 weeks ago. I've lost the 2 people who would help me through these losses. I am all alone now.
I lost my Wife in January. I know how crushing and alone it makes you feel. That Fear that Grips your Heart as you think of how to Navigate the Future without them. All I can say is keep Moving Forward, One Step, and One Day at a Time. If you want to talk, or just someone to listen, I am more then willing.
I'm sorry for your loss. It is so hard. Yesterday I went to the cell phone store. I had to cancel my husband's service. I broke down right there, probably 20 people watching. I couldn't stop it. It meant he is really gone. I wonder how I will go on without him. But I have to. And this sounds stupid, but I have to go on because of my dog. (My husband and I did not have kids together. We both have grown kids.) Anyway, thanks for talking to me.
I currently still have my Wifes Phone, but its because she still gets Important Text going to it, and I have not had enough of a reason to change from it. Its kind of a link I still have to her. I cannot imagine how painful it had to be to walk into that Store and do that, honestly that took a lot more Strength then I had that early on. Even now I am not sure I could do that. I still find myself having random Breakdowns during the day. I dont think having your Dog be your reason to keep going to be stupid at all. I think we all need that something that forces us to keep moving, especially early on. I know if it wasnt for my Mother and Brother I dont know if I would still be here myself. We once had Kitties, but the last one passed on just a few years ago. We never had Kids, so basically our Kitties where it. Losing my Wife and our last one so few apart really hit hard. Your more then welcome. Someone on here reached out to me when I needed it, so I am more then happy to try and do the same for others. Just keep moving forward, even if its just a Step at a Time.
I didn't want to give up his phone. I'm losing about 60% of our income. I'm on disability. I will get a small amount of life insurance. Thank God for my Dad. He is making it possible for me to stay in the apartment my husband and I live in. If i have to move from here, I would be devastated. I can feel my husband here. But like you said, one step at a time.
The loss of Stability can be just as devastating as the Person. My Wife was on Disability and I stopped Working to take care of her. With her gone I currently have no income. If not for my Mother and Brother that we live with I would likely be on the Streets myself. So much of our lives are just upended when our Spouse dies. Its like we are plunged into a never ending nightmare that we can never awake from. Just know your not alone in this Pain, that there are those who understand what you are going through. If you feel it may help, please feel free to Rant and Rage if it will help you feel even a bit better.
Today, my whole body aches and I am having crying spells. Even though my Dad just lost my Mom, he doesn't get that i am now grieving my husband. He does not extend to me the same grace I extend to him. He is 88. I know it is different for him. They were married 65 years, but they bickered and fought their whole marriage. He doesn't understand that Tim and I loved each other deeply, even though we aren't always perfect. And my dad doesn't have to worry about money at all. And they own their house. I take him meals twice a week. I don't have anyone doing that for me. I just hurt today.
It can be unbearably hard to have Family that just dont seem to Understand, or even worse just dont care enough to try. I had just reconnected with my Father a few years back and too my Wife to meet him. When she passed he sent ONE Message. Even now Months later he has sent me a total of 3 Messages. The last one was asking how I was, and he never even replied to my response. Even worse is her Family. She has two younger Sisters that to this day still refuse to talk to me (one blames me for her even being sick). After she passed they passed a message through their Father to me. They wanted any Pictures that I might have of their Grandparents. Not of their Sister, or even something of HERS, no Pictures of someone else. Hurts to know how little her own Family thinks of her. The only advice I can give is to try and focus on those that do put in the effort to understand you. Sadly we cannot force people to care.
I am sorry about that for you! That just makes your grief even harder. And how in the world can they think you made your wife sick? Tim has 2 grown daughters. I wasn't close with them. They live here in the town i live in. One of them, the one I don't really like, has texted me a few times. I gave her a box of what would be their family things. Photos, stuff like that. But she offered to split the cremation cost when Tim died, and then never brought it up again. I know she's grieving too. But she always felt I was trying to take her dad away from her, but that wasn't true. So i'm sure we won't keep in touch since Tim is gone. I just don't understand people. I think we just need to focus on taking care of ourselves and not let the family stuff upset us even more.
She thought my Mother and I where forcing her to stay in her Room and wouldnt let her out. Thing was at the time my Wife was suffering from Chronic Migraines, and what helped her the most was the Dark and Silence. I only know her Sister felt this way because before cutting off all Communication she left a Note Blaming me. Her Father also thought she was Faking it for a time, even though he saw her in the Hospital. Her Family is a mess. It really is best to try and focus on our own Grieving. Its a long painful process and anyone who impedes our healing just needs to stay away, no matter how much that may hurt to do.
Hey. I want see how you are doing. Are you still taking one step at a time? I'm trying. It isn't easy when I wake up. But I find the end of the day is the hardest. From about 4:00pm until bedtime is excruciating. Maybe because I start supper about then and we always ate supper together. I still try to cook most days, but I eat alone. I miss Tim so much. It physically hurts. Anyway, let me know how you're feeling. Kristie
Very much a Step at a Time right now. Past few days have been rough. I got her Death Certificate and seeing the Causes has really done a number on me. Things and times we did things together are also rough. We would always watch Anime together before Bed and on the Weekends, so yeah the end of the Day is also a harder time for me as well. I am right there with you, I miss my Wife so much. Its like a Nightmare that became my Reality.
I feel the same. Where i live there is a pool. I like to go around 9 AM for 45 minutes or so. I went this morning It made me soon SAD. Tim and I were looking forward to going to the pool this summer because we had gotten him a wheelchair he needed when we leave the apartment. And there I was without him. I hate this!! How are we going to live without our loves?? One minute at a time is the best I can do today. Thank you talking to me.
It is difficult sometimes to navigate this website. Think about if you would be comfortable exchanging phone numbers and we could just text. But if you aren't comfortable I understand
