Devistated, Numb and Angry

Discussion in 'LGBTQ Loss' started by Clou2323, Nov 7, 2020.

  1. Clou2323

    Clou2323 New Member

    8 Weeks ago, my best friend and soulmate took her own life while I slept in our bed. I found her in the shop and our .38 was laying beside her. She had struggled all her life with inner demons and I really thought that we were doing well. There are so many unanswered questions and the note she left me was so awful. I would have done anything for her and I would give anything to just have the chance to live that day again. I am so lost. Year One.jpg Vacation - Wedding 126.JPG
  2. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray that you have strength to get to a better place.
    Clou2323 likes this.
  3. MikeNYC

    MikeNYC Member

    I am so sorry to read of your loss. Please share as much as you feel like. Talking does help.
    Clou2323 likes this.
  4. Clou2323

    Clou2323 New Member

    Thank you so much.
  5. Clou2323

    Clou2323 New Member

    Thanks. I love your pendant.
  6. MikeNYC

    MikeNYC Member

    Thank you. He'll never leave my heart and the pendant reaffirms the connection.
  7. Shar90

    Shar90 New Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss.
    My partner of 14 years & father of my children took he’s own life of the 4th October, I know exactly how you feel I still haven’t come to terms with it, my life has no meaning anymore, I don’t no where I’m meant to go from here. I don’t have any answers on how to get through this but if u need someone to talk to that understands or just listen please message me
  8. paul tinker

    paul tinker Well-Known Member

    Glou2323 and like posters,

    All of us wonder if something could have been different. Especially suicide. I wrestled with likely preventable cancer not dealt with in a timely manner. I know a bi-polar woman now that on more than one occasion I said I will call 911 to have the authorities intervene. She is on a ton of medications and has received extensive counseling.

    Glou2323 the picture you selected does show there was a happy time in your relationship. That time may have been the best your partner ever knew. One person, I knew lost a business and was a pilot recreationally. I think to provide for his family's future he rented a plane. One friend of ours was a counselor. A dissolving relationship and suspected cancer, an overdose.

    I can not know your partner's history or experiences that lead to her destination. Obsessional thinking. Convinced the worst outcome is the only outcome. I know I spent months over the question, why.

    Truly sorry for your loss and this road you will be on.

    Heartfelt condolences.

    Paul M.
  9. flowers are power

    flowers are power New Member

    Sending you whatever you may need or want, or even the ability to identify what that is right now and tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your story with us.