Coping with Sudden Loss

Just this 30 April, so everything is still raw! Having million questions but two are more prominent, why and how?

Due to hubby's type of work, via contracts, it meant that quite often if was off on these and I was left home with our munchkins. Daughter has been sleeping with me since it happened as she was with her Father when he died.

So sleeping alone and taking care of the household is something I can say, "Been there, done that!" However, the difference is that knowing hubby will be back soon, that's all shattered by the reality that on our shelf now sits hubby's ash casket with his remains inside. That's the heartbreaking part.

The worst of the work I had to do, was done during May and June. Only one seems to be unsettled yet. This month, July, I was hoping for a quiet time. Here's hoping!

 

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss, understand what you're going through. My darling husband was suddenly taken away from me 20 months ago, from a cardiac arrest, at only 57 yrs old. I've found this site is a safe, comfortable place where we can pour heart out, sharing our feelings, everyone will understand and relate, as we are going through the same grief. Only others who have lost a spouse can really 'get it', I feel as if others just feel awkward and embarrassed, end up avoiding me in the end. I thankfully have my two grownup children living with me, they give me a reason to go on. I am grateful to have met everyone here, where you will usually find them in the other topic: Loss of spouse.
Sending you strength and comfort, hope to hear from you again soon.
Rose.

 

Hi Rose, thanks for the kind words. Hubby died 13 days before his 64th birthday. Daughter turned 33 on the 3rd May. It was difficult enough for her to have seen him died after his last words: "Bonnie, call Mum! Oh sh..." He then fell flat on pavement. They were out together to do her Avon run. She finally reached me and in a whirlwind, she got help from strangers got an ambulance and came to pick me up.

I knew already that it was all too late, my SweetPea was gone! Our son died unexpectedly as well from a rare cancer back in January 2017. So, we were slowly recovering from his loss and now this. Goddess me, it's so unfair. We were still planning from this July, to begin living again. Now, everything feels permanently put on hold. He was looking forward to getting his pension to be able to slow down and enjoying life. Thanks to the Pandemic we haven't had the chance to make friends with our neighbours, so I feel very isolated and lonely. I miss our daily convos, I miss his smile and laugh and his blue eyes. He was hoping to reach our 50th wedding anniversary. It'll forever be 36 years only. June was our 37th. I don't even have the courage to complete my free website for now, it'll just have to wait like everything else.

Sorry for your loss, 57 is cruel age to go, still young but others feel it's old. My father died at 57 on Valentine Day in 74. I saw him died and I closed his eyes. I was just a teenager. The grief gets lighter but it never really goes away. Nice to meet you. I'm on Skype if you fancy a longer natter off-site.

 

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear that you also lost your son, fate is really so unfair and cruel at times. I was so close to tearsto hear how your daughter had to watch her dear father leave this world, it reminded me of that scene which will always torment my mind. I found my beloved C lying on the floor in the bathroom, I screamed out for my son as I couldn't open the door,
he rushed downstairs along with my daughter, she tried CPR on him, while waiting for the ambulance. The parademics spent more time than they should have, trying to revive him. I just keep hearing our voices, me shouting out for my son, my daughter in shock crying "Dad, Dad" and my son crying out desperately, in disbelief: "Come on dad, this is a joke isn't it?".
I see that you live outside the US, I actually live in Europe (Italy), it would be nice to talk on Skype, but apart from my time difference problem, I admit that I am no expert with all this new hi tech world we live in now. I still can't believe that I've been able to connect to this site..
Sending you lots of comfort and strength. Take care.
Rose.

 

Hi Rose, I'm in Scotland and I've a friend who's in Spain on Skype. I love Italy a lot as my first writing forays in the 90s Trieste was the name of my main character. In my research back then, I also found Triora, Italy where witches were persecuted and one of the village there is a ghost town. Here's my link to my Skype https://join.skype.com/invite/CPvZYuIxcTHJ

 

Hi, thank you for your reply. I actually used to live in London. Although, Italian blood, I was born and grew up there and left when I was in my 20s.
How fascinating hearing that you've written about Italy's witch legends, have you actually published a book? I'd love to read it.
It's a coincidence, because I happen to live near another town (Benevento) famous for our witch legends.

Have a peaceful Sunday.
Rose.

 

Yes, I've 4 books in ePub format available but as my husband died just as I was creating my free website, I haven't touched anything since. If you want them, it's £10 for all four or £4 individually. The current payment method I have is via https://www.buymeacoffee.com/CDBurnside It's called The Wanderlust Collection. Thanks for being interested in reading it. Cheers!